NDR: Can I get your opinions on friend situation?

[finally]

DH and I have had a rough 6 months with Sandy, some family issues and with the decision of having to put our 4-legged child Gilbert down last week.  We had been delaying a vacation knowing that Gilbert was not doing well and that we had no one to care for him.  Now that he is gone, we are ready to plan a relaxing beach trip to decompress from all the stress we have had.

For the past few years, we have been inviting one of my best girlfriends who is single to travel with us (she gets her own room).  She loves to travel, really doesn't have anyone else to go anywhere with and gets along great with DH.  She has come along with us twice in the past 3 years.   She will do a lot of things on her own but likes the security of knowing we are there and having some friends to hang out with.  She will also go with DH to do some things that I won't do (i.e. jet skis, parasailing) or shopping with me to places DH doesn't want to go to.

Now that we are planning another beach trip, I want to ask her again (I know she really wants to get away and I'm happy to have her along) but DH is hedging on me asking her.  He just wants a quiet-alone vacation.

WWYD?

[MrsAxilla]

Go by yourselves. You're not obligated to invite her everytime and it sounds like your DH wants some alone time.

[Susie]

Mar 23, 2013 18:35:31 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Go by yourselves. You're not obligated to invite her everytime and it sounds like your DH wants some alone time.

Agreed.

[thewop]

I would go as a duo this time around. If your h wants to be with just you then you should do it.

[lolc]

Have you talked to DH about why he may not want friend to come along? That would be the first thing I would do. If it's just a matter of him wanting to spend some vacation time alone with just the two of you, maybe you can suggest that friend come a few days later as a compromise? Or maybe you can take a vacation/long weekend (just you and friend) at another time?

[Ramz-ee]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about Gilbert. ;(

[sjh722]

Mar 23, 2013 18:35:31 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Go by yourselves. You're not obligated to invite her everytime and it sounds like your DH wants some alone time.

+1

Sorry to hear about Gilbert.

[peach]

you always, always pick the husband over friends. Go as a couple

[finally]

Thanks everyone. I know going alone is the right thing to do but I feel soooo bad for my friend! I know how she has really been looking forward to going away and how disappointed she is going to be when she finds out we are going but she is not invited.  

[emoflamingo]

Just tell her what you've told us, that you and your H have had a rough few months especially with losing your Gilbert and that you really need some time to recharge as a couple and that you will let her know when your next trip is.

[Deleted]

Mar 23, 2013 19:38:19 GMT -5 finally said:

Thanks everyone. I know going alone is the right thing to do but I feel soooo bad for my friend! I know how she has really been looking forward to going away and how disappointed she is going to be when she finds out we are going but she is not invited.  

She will get over it.  You aren't obligated to take her on vacation every year. Marriage comes before friends.   Spend alone time with DH. 

So sorry about Gilbert.  :-((

[RoxMonster]

Sorry about Gilbert

I agree with going alone. Just tell her what you told us and there will always be more trips in the future.

Perhaps next time, you and her could plan a girls' trip just the two of you? That would be fun also. Then she can enjoy a fun trip with you but you can also take some trips alone with your H.

[Deleted]

I agree with your H on this one. Just be honest with your friend. Don't lie about the vacation, forget to mention it etc. That will cause hurt feelings.
Just say, "Hey. We're going alone this time. I hope you understand. However, about in 3 months we get together for a weekend and do XYZ."

[amblor]

I think that your friend will understand that you need a get away as a couple - alone time is important for any relationship! Just be honest!

Sorry to hear about your pet.