Your parents/family & your house

[bunnymendelbaum]

My FILs 'thing' is apparently windows & front porches/doors.

My DH has mentioned before that our windows probably drive FIL nuts when he visits because they are dirty. (So not high in our renovating to do list).

He was actively looking for a replacement front door for us without even asking us. He never did find one the right size.

Last visit he got all hung up on painting our front porch himself. It is in BAD shape. Peeling paint in the ceiling, very bare paint on the floor. We have been putting it off because it will be a back-breaker to do.
Anyway, I got a very reasonable price from our painters to do it. They will start Thursday or Friday. FIL found out and wants to pay for it!
Thanks, but he really doesn't have to! It is just funny to me. My dad is super helpful on our house, but he just does whatever we ask.
I think over the years FIL has come to really like this house and wanted to feel like he helped make it better again. Pretty sweet.

Do your parents or family help at all? Do they seem "invested" in your house?

[sailorgray]

My fil was obsessed with our crappy siding. One day he called and said he did all of this research, got quotes, talked to rental places and thought we needed to re-side our house. Well, that is $$$ and about tenth on our to-do list. I think he was pretty annoyed when we said no. Good thing we didn't listen because a few months later a windstorm came through, and knocked our siding off. Thanks to insurance we paid $1500 out of pocket to have it professionally done. It was a $12000 job.

[Deleted]

Not at all. But to be honest, our house is like 10xs nicer than my parents for a lot of reasons. My mom is really into decor so she'll help me there, tell me what to rearrange etc. My dad couldn't careless about houses (See first part of post). He however, is into the inner workings of houses (septic systems, water softeners, water heaters, heating etc.) and always asks if everything is up to par.

My MIL is obsessed with clean ovens and windows. She does one or the other everytime she babysits for us or any of Hs other sibs. Weird, but thanks. She also couldn't careless about houses or decor so we never have an issue there. She lives in a early 80s they built which is nice and has the best of the best for the time, but they have hung a picture on 2 walls the entire time they've lived there..muchless change anything out..lol.

[tarheels]

Yes, our parents are very invested in our homes. MIL is a master gardener and always tells me what to plant, FIL is an incredible carpenter and all-round handy guy, and my mom is a great decorator and handywoman.

[craftymrs]

Well my fil built the house so yes he is invested. My mom has opinions about everything but we mostly do our own thing

[SusanBAnthony]

My dad is a woodworker, and generally very handy. He is also a perfectionist, and hated working on our old House bc it was old and never perfect. He reminds me of what you have said about your H bunny.

My mom could care less. Which is probably good considering she has to live with Mr. Anal, see above. All she cares about in their house is her office which she painted pink and put girly flowery stuff in.

My in laws live in the house that they built in the late 70's. Like dairy, everything is original. Every time I visit, I think about taking some pics and posting a collage of amazing wallpaper, mustard colored tile, etc. It is very well kept up but it would never occur to them that perhaps the orange and brown wallpaper could go. Yet they will drop big bucks on a geothermal system, a new pole barn, a new tractor (they are not farmers btw, these are just for hobbies!).

[susieq]

My parents help us out with little projects every time they come to visit. The things that are at the bottom of DHs to do list but are relatively easy for my dad to help me with while my mom watches the kids. They help pain rooms, hang pictures, change light fixtures, and yard work.
My inlaws will help with something if we ask them to but it always seems like we are inconveniencing them so we dont ask unless it is something really complicated. FIL is a master at almost anything he puts his mind to and does excellent carpentry work. He helped to built our fireplace mantle and the vanity that is in our master out of solid oak that was milled from family land.
My MIL is OCD clean and neat. She normally ends up washing some windows or polishing the counter tops when she is here.

[Deleted]

My parents are way more invested than my ILs, in terms of physical work. My FIL barely knows how to operate hand and power tools. My MIL has given suggestions for plants and such as she is an avid gardener.

My parents helped us re-do our basement post-flood. My dad helped us install our storm door. My mom helped me with curtain rods and window treatments and has helped me clean for parties and things like that.

However, my ILs' home is meticulously maintained and my parents' home, which my dad built, is in need of some work.

[amblor]

My parents don't really invest in our house in terms of paying for anything for the house. (They constantly take us out to eat though!) My dad is super helpful and will be over in a heartbeat to help if we're working on something (we live in he same city 15 minutes away). He knows basically everything and will teach us whenever we ask but he is very very good at not stepping on H's toes.

Thanks awesome that FIL wants to pay for your paint job and takes an interest though!

[ssmjlm]

My parents have been so helpful both in time and money with our house. My dad gifted us money toward a new garage door after we had our siding re-done and all the facia boards wrapped. He also gave us his old riding mower b/c he has a guy come and do the landscaping now (ah the joys of retirement I guess). DH and my dad will do projects around our house, my parents house and my parents condo. I think my dad likes how handy DH is. I know my mom loves getting DH to do stuff for her around their condo down by us. My mom also helped prime the trim for the nursery and painted the pantry for us since I've been pregnant.

The IL's are meh, but they're like that with everything. FIL lives in the same house he built in 1979 or whatever and hasn't done much to update it since then. Seriously the kitchen is all original and in horrible shape. He's knowledgeable about plants somewhat, but he'll just come over to our house and make comments about how bad our grass is. MIL has never done anything to help us house wise, but her house isn't really decorated either. MIL and her husband have put some money into their house, but some of it was shotty work and TBH will hurt them resale wise.

[demandypants]

My ILs gave us money to replace the roof, though we could have gotten another year or so out of it. It was a huge gift and much appreciated. Allowed us to save our money for one of the other many projects we have on the list of things to do! My family is more of the come help with a project type of help and they come when asked for help. DH is an only child, and I am one of two. So I think that makes it easier for both of them to offer that kind of help.

[thewop]

Only if asked. My dad is very handy and is very much a craftsman so he knows a lot, but won't give input unless asked.

[Deleted]

My mom wants me to sell our house and buy a new one. She thinks we are crazy to be renovating with small children running around. She could be right My inlaws and my dad don't really care.


So no, lol. 

[emoflamingo]

My dad couldn't care less. He's seen my house once and he doesn't take care of his own house very well (though he did fix my water softener for me when he was out because we have never had one before and he has one).

My ILs are a little different. They don't overstep their boundaries but they help out and suggest things when asked.

[sratsey]

My parents couldn't care less what I do with my house.

[adhdfashion]

FIL loves to help with projects. He built our garage storage shelving unit and built our fence. Best part he did both as gifts so it cost us nothing. My parents help with the kids not the house.

[simpsongal]

My folks helped a lot on the house last year. DH's folks have lent us some tools and what not but have not really been involved in house projects. FIL helped open our windows, but that's it. My folks helped us scrub the whole house by hand last year and wash all the windows!

[munkii]

My parents have helped paint, tear out half the kitchen, move out old appliances, and clean.

H's parents just want to look. They say they'll help but add that they don't know how to do anything and/or don't like to do anything. They also like to ask us why we don't just hire people for everything. Um, because we have to shell out over $5k to connect to the city sewers this year, we have to shell out $2k this week to have a tree taken down and others cleaned up, and I think we can handle painting.

[auntie]

My parents built the house I currently live in. They were getting ready to retire/sell and move when my old house was destroyed. It's about the right size and in a great school district, so we skipped the realtor and bought from them.

Downside? My mother puts forth all manner of suggestions for upgrades she couldn't afford when she built when ever I see her- I should upgrade the baths, do all hardwoods, blah, blah, blah.

My father grumbles about every decorating choice I make. Paint colors, wallpaper removal, repurposing rooms to suit our needs. Ugh. And this from a man who told me he was thinking of doing "Santa Fe Colors" in his new house in MD.

[auntie]

munkii-

When I had to hook up to city water in my old house, the township allowed us to pay the assessment overtime. We did have to do the hookup, but could finance the assessment so the lein was gone by the time we sold.

[munkii]

Mar 27, 2013 16:24:54 GMT -5 auntie said:

munkii-

When I had to hook up to city water in my old house, the township allowed us to pay the assessment overtime. We did have to do the hookup, but could finance the assessment so the lein was gone by the time we sold.

Our income is too high to qualify for the financing they offer; so, our only option is to pay it at once or pay it in monthly installments and have it paid off by the time the job starts. I'd rather earn interest than give them monthly installments.

[auntie]

Bummer.

Ours didn't have a income qualifier. LOL, at the time DH was making more yearly than the house was worth. I sent them $25 or $50 a month.

[EloiseWeenie]

My dad can't just visit, he has to "fix" something. . . whether it was something that legitimately needed fixing, or something he fiddled with so that he could fix it.

My mom has been collecting/saving things for me for years, for when I move to a bigger home (most are antiques/family heirlooms). I'm finally moving to a much larger house in about a month, and I'm a little worried about all of the things that my parents have been saving for me, LOL. They live several states away, and my mom promised me she would take pictures of everything before they loaded it on the moving truck (yes, so many things they need a moving truck- like my grandmother's entire antique dining room, etc). At least all the furniture is very high quality.

Once I move, the tables will turn and I'll be all in their business. Their home is massive, and they need to downsize. . . like within 5 years. It's overwhelming to think if something happened to both of them, and me and my brothers were left with all of their stuff (I'd like to clarify that they aren't hoarders, but their home is gigantic- and it would take forever to go through).