Shaking my head - Bump C&P

[Deleted]

Dh and I are in the same boat. I desperately want to stay home, but it
isn't possible without SOME income from me. I'm seeing what that will
look like. Some of my ideas are to run errands for family members. For
my mom, She HATES paying her bills. So I'm going to propose that if she
add DH and I to her family plan, I will pay all her bills bi-weekly. It
saves us $150/month, while not costing her near that amount. I may also
look into substitute teaching, a day or two a week when a friend of mine
can take LO. I'm also researching selling plasma and milk. I'll do just
about anything to not have to place LO in daycare for the first couple
of years.

A reply in this thread:

community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72910644.aspx

[hannamaren]

What about the girl becoming a piano tuner? What a transition from a banker.

But yes, the girl wanting to be paid to run errands needs a huge side eye

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2013 20:51:24 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

What about the girl becoming a piano tuner? What a transition from a banker.

But yes, the girl wanting to be paid to run errands needs a huge side eye

At least piano tuning is a marketable skill!

But I don't like paying bills either.  Damned if I'm going to pay someone to do it for me! She should just call a spade a spade and say "mom, we can't support me staying home so please let us in on your family plan" and not make it out to be this big bargain.  And my mom was a substitute teacher for years and only knew she had to show up when they called her at 5 a.m.  I doubt anyone has a friend that will just willy nilly watch her kid on that short notice.  Also my 250+ lb husband donated plasma once and felt like crap for hours.  Doubt you can do that whilst breastfeeding.  LOL.  What the hell is wrong with daycare?

[justjen]

STOP READING THE BUMP.

I swear it leeches brain cells.

I have a theory: this chick doesn't want to work because she's always had bad jobs; she's always had bad jobs because she's not that bright. It probably has little to do with the evils of daycare.

[hannamaren]

Nqb, exactly, what is wrong with daycare? I have a friend who was wary of a nanny because there is just one adult in your house alone. I can get that kind of worry. But, daycare? There are all those kids and teachers - people have to behave.

[Deleted]

And that is why I quit the Bump entirely.

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2013 21:03:46 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

Nqb, exactly, what is wrong with daycare? I have a friend who was wary of a nanny because there is just one adult in your house alone. I can get that kind of worry. But, daycare? There are all those kids and teachers - people have to behave.

Exactly.  After I spent three days watching my niece this fall I decided daycare is much more preferable to staying at home because at daycare there are rules and supervision whereas I just let the poor kid watch Dora videos all day.

[bunch]

I am convinced my kid would probably be better off in daycare. Safer, more stimulated, the whole bit. Dd goes to MMO one morning a week and comes back doing the motions to "wheels on the bus" and telling me what a triangle is. What?

I think the bump girl should sell lots and lots of blood. Good call.

[hannamaren]

What is MMO?

[Deleted]

Haha because daycare is so evil.

Bump be crazy!

[bunch]

Mar 26, 2013 21:07:35 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

What is MMO?

Moms morning out. Like once a week preschool.

[ECB]

I also wonder about these "daycare is evil" people, or "I don't want other people raising my kid" - what about when their kid goes to SCHOOL? Your kid is still going to be in the hands of someone else.

I'm a few steps above a mom watching TV all day, but hell, daycare is so much better than me! He has friends there, fun activities, etc etc etc.

[whitepicketfence]

LOL @ charging to pay someone's bills and donating plasma. If you have to resort to either of those things, SAH is not the best option for you.

[ssmjlm]

If you want to SAH, fine, by all means, plan accordingly, but staying home b/c daycare is "evil" is ridiculous and just shows a lack of education.

Then again I'm pretty sure the women commenting in that thread don't think about things like retirement, health benefits, etc on one income.

[greekypie]

Daycare is the devilllll! The End.

[ryry]

I am so glad I can send my DD to daycare. When I was between jobs when we moved over the summer, I was so nervous about my daughter regressing because she was "stuck" at home with me for a couple of months. She learns so much at daycare. I know many moms who are awesome at being stay at home moms, but I'm not. I just don't have the patience...or the ability to keep her stimulated and active. My mom was a SAHM and I honestly think I would have been better off in daycare/preschool, because I had no idea how to interact with kids my age when I started kindergarten. I was always around adults until I started school. I really believe it hampered my social skills as a young kid, and I really did not want my DD to feel the same way.

I <3 daycare

[leonard131]

I swear the bump makes me feel like my head will explode.  Maybe I live in a bubble but I am constantly surprised by what is posted and people think and act like this. 

This is flameful but it truly makes me question why  there are background checks to adopt a pet but not to have a kid.

Also, we have a nanny but want to put M in daycare part time so he can socialize and learn how to interact with others.

[bronxgirl]

Mar 27, 2013 9:34:38 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Charging your mom to pay her bills is weird, but as a general concept, isn't that just being a personal assistant? Running errands for other people is an actual job, so I don't think it's such a bad idea (minus the mom part).

Exactly.  I didn't read the thread, but there is a whole vocation, some of it very well paid, devoted to running errands for people.  This thread isn't exactly making MMM look all that superior to TB.

[Deleted]

I can't imagine being a professional personal assistant with my toddler in tow.

And I think my son looks cute with his daycare devil horns....plus our daycare teacher has 2 dogs (well trained, she's worked in animal rescue). Boy gets daily dogs, I don't have extra work of dogs. Win-win!

[Deleted]

Mar 27, 2013 14:47:02 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Mar 27, 2013 13:36:48 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Exactly.  I didn't read the thread, but there is a whole vocation, some of it very well paid, devoted to running errands for people.  This thread isn't exactly making MMM look all that superior to TB.

I think the reaction is specifically approaching a parent as a sort of sneaky way of getting money from them. It would be different if she said she was going to start a personal assistant business or something.

Perhaps flameful, but I think there's a decent percentage of SAHMs that simply want to not work. SAH and providing age-appropriate stimulation, education, social interactions, etc. is effing HARD. And there's a lot on the Bump that seem to spend most of their time dicking around online.

I really admire moms who SAH because they feel called to do it and put a lot of themselves into it.

Yeah ditto this.  I was (briefly) a personal assistant so I know it can be hard work.  But IME "running errands for family members" is not the same thing.  If I was her family I'd feel pressured to let her do crap for me so she wouldn't starve.  It's like those annoying 31 Bags invites but 10x worse.

[anna7602]

If a woman feels that strongly about outsourcing childcare, then perhaps she shouldn't have kids until she can actually afford to stay home.

I don't know what hanna was referring to re: piano tuning and banking, but I've gotten a few WTF's IRL when I tell people what I used to do and what I do now as a freelancer. It's pretty obnoxious, but such is life.

[bronxgirl]

So I went back and read the thread on the Bump. This one is far more annoying.

[bronxgirl]

Mar 27, 2013 14:56:38 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Mar 27, 2013 14:47:02 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

I think the reaction is specifically approaching a parent as a sort of sneaky way of getting money from them. It would be different if she said she was going to start a personal assistant business or something.

Perhaps flameful, but I think there's a decent percentage of SAHMs that simply want to not work. SAH and providing age-appropriate stimulation, education, social interactions, etc. is effing HARD. And there's a lot on the Bump that seem to spend most of their time dicking around online.

I really admire moms who SAH because they feel called to do it and put a lot of themselves into it.

Yeah ditto this.  I was (briefly) a personal assistant so I know it can be hard work.  But IME "running errands for family members" is not the same thing.  If I was her family I'd feel pressured to let her do crap for me so she wouldn't starve.  It's like those annoying 31 Bags invites but 10x worse.

So it's hard work if you do it for strangers, but just trying to get money out of people if you do it for family?    If you have experience as a PA why don't you offer her suggestions on how to get started? 

[Deleted]

It's hard work if you work hard. It's taking your mom's money if you come up with "a job" that she can pay you to do that she doesn't actually want to pay anyone to do.

If you have to sell bodily fluids to SAH, you're probably not in a great place to SAH.

[Deleted]

Mar 27, 2013 15:06:23 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Mar 27, 2013 14:56:38 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Yeah ditto this.  I was (briefly) a personal assistant so I know it can be hard work.  But IME "running errands for family members" is not the same thing.  If I was her family I'd feel pressured to let her do crap for me so she wouldn't starve.  It's like those annoying 31 Bags invites but 10x worse.

So it's hard work if you do it for strangers, but just trying to get money out of people if you do it for family?    If you have experience as a PA why don't you offer her suggestions on how to get started? 

If someone is actively looking for a personal assistant and the quoted person was capable of the job then it's different IMO than her trying to get her family members to hire her for things they are presumably already doing themselves.  I worked 8+ hours a day as a PA and half of that was on the phone handling financial stuff - something I imagine it's not easy to do with a newborn.  But really all her other ideas are far more ridiculous so that was the point of my post.

[bronxgirl]

Mar 27, 2013 15:11:01 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

It's hard work if you work hard. It's taking your mom's money if you come up with "a job" that she can pay you to do that she doesn't actually want to pay anyone to do.

If you have to sell bodily fluids to SAH, you're probably not in a great place to SAH.

And yet we have no way of knowing what her mom thinks about the situation, or if OP plans to work hard or slack off.  How is this different than if she suggested cleaning her mom's house b/c her mom hates to clean?  Presumably her mom is an adult who can say no to a suggestion she doesn't like.  Maybe her mom is even enough of an adult to help her get started with a small personal assisting business.  Or maybe she'll just make fun of her on the internet instead.

[Deleted]

bronxgirl, does your mom hire you to run her errands? you're weirdly defensive of this wonderful business plan.

[Deleted]

You don't sell milk to moms for other babies.

You sell it to men with fetishes and people who think it will cure their cancer.

[bronxgirl]

Mar 27, 2013 15:23:04 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

bronxgirl, does your mom hire you to run her errands? you're weirdly defensive of this wonderful business plan.

Yes, it's so wierd that I'm not jumping on the bandwagon to crap all over someone's idea to earn money.    No, my mom and I do not have this arrangement.  WTF does that have to do with anyone else?   Coincidently, I did do some small PA work for my cousin when I was in grad school.  She hired me and a few other students.  We all did the same qulaity of work, regardless of who was related.

[Deleted]

Maybe the "running errands for family" plan would seem more viable had it not been paired with such wonderful ideas as selling plasma or trying to substitute teach with no experience or knowledge of how that system works. Nope, not really I admit I can't see the other side here. If I had $ for a PA I wouldn't hire a family member with a new baby. I'm sorry if this rubbed you the wrong way but it rubs me the wrong way when people act like daycare is some terrible baby jail.