Update on my dad helping my ex move

[gozf]

So.  I spoke with my mom today, and I told her I was pretty displeased with the situation.  She seemed... surprised.  But when I laid it all out of her, she got it.  She also said that my father didn't offer, that exH asked him for help, which is in conflict with the story I got from exH.  And originally, the move was supposed to happen on Monday, but then got changed to Saturday.

Meh.  I'm still going home for Easter.  My mom seemed to feel bad, once I told her exactly how I felt and why.  And then she offered to take me shopping.  I can totally be bought.

And then I told her about how I made Saturday night plans with a friend from high school who I haven't seen in ages.  She seemed a little peeved, and I was all, "Well, with Dad running off to help ex, I just figured it was that kind of weekend for all of us!  Busy!  Lots going on!  No big deal, right?"


So, yeah.  In short, I am a pushover, but one who will return on Sunday with material goods bought for me out of guilt.  Honestly, I'm proud of myself for saying something, because I come from a long line of nonconfrontational avoiders.  And I'm seeing someone I really adore in the evening.  And then I will come home and do Jager shots with Thor's mom.  I think Jesus would approve, right?

[sonrisa]

Good for you. Have fun shopping :-)

[poppyseed]

When my mom offers to take me shopping, any transgressions are forgiven.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:16:47 GMT -5 bricco said:

I didn't see your OP, but I feel your pain. My xH ran for city council in my town and my dad (who has a very prominent address) ran a LIFE SIZE FUCKING BILLBOARD sporting xH's face in support of the office.

RAGE.

Oof.  That really stings.

[pantsparty]

I don't think you're a pushover. I don't know, sometimes people don't get it. It's good you told her what you were feeling.

Side-eye to your lying ex. But at least it makes your dad look better.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:16:53 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

she was "suprised" that you wouldn't be thrilled about them helping your ex move when you were planning on spending Easter with them?

Whaaaaaaaa?

Yes.  She was surprised.  Because they don't really understand things like boundaries, and they know that he and I are on good terms, so they basically think that their relationship with him should be virtually unaffected.

[Deleted]

YOUR EX ASKED?!?!?!

let me at 'em.

[ering1115]

Enh- shopping and seeing a good friend, sounds like an Easter Jesus would approve of, even without the temptation of Jager shots. I have it on good Da Vinci code authority that Jesus loved Jager.

Good for you for standing up for yourself. I don't think you are being a push over on this one. You want to see your family on a holiday and you were able to tell them how you feel. It all makes sense in my head.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:18:16 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

This is all very good.

Although I'm really wondering now who initiated this moving thing -- your dad, or Lancel?

Me too.  And I kind of think Lancel has more motivation to lie to me about it than my mother would, y'know? 

I also found it interesting that the date changed, so when he did agree/offer to help(depending on who you believe) it wouldn't have overlapped with my visit.  I'm guessing that, at that point, Dad felt a little stuck.

I still don't feel great, obviously.  But I feel a little better, and I'm just glad I said something.  And that my mother is bribing me into feeling better.

[sneetch]

This is a good update.  I'm glad you brought it up!

[eb777888]

OMG bricco. Sorry, I lol'ed. WTF?

[Muddled]

I am glad you said something. I hope that it helps them to consider your POV in the future.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:20:48 GMT -5 cville said:

YOUR EX ASKED?!?!?!

let me at 'em.

I know it.  My mom can be a pain in the ass, but she isn't the lying type. 

They can have him.  I might be done.

[Deleted]

Mar 28, 2013 15:22:59 GMT -5 gozf said:

Mar 28, 2013 15:20:48 GMT -5 cville said:

YOUR EX ASKED?!?!?!

let me at 'em.

I know it.  My mom can be a pain in the ass, but she isn't the lying type. 

They can have him.  I might be done.

between this and the nonsense with your weirdo sorta friend?  i'm ready to throttle lancel.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Why is everyone in your family (yeah, I still think of Lancel as your kind of family) so freaking awkward and inappropriate?

Can we talk a little more about Lancel? Between this stuff with your parents and him sleeping with your friends, there's something weird here between him and you. I don't think he wants you back, but I kinda think he wants to wear you as a skin suit, just a little.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:26:32 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

Why is everyone in your family (yeah, I still think of Lancel as your kind of family) so freaking awkward and inappropriate?

Can we talk a little more about Lancel? Between this stuff with your parents and him sleeping with your friends, there's something weird here between him and you. I don't think he wants you back, but I kinda think he wants to wear you as a skin suit, just a little.

Lol!

Yeah, that might be the case, which is really disconcerting.  I get it; I'm fabulous.  But there are lines we don't cross!!!!

[jojoandleo]

My mom and step dad still spend time with my HS boyfriend and help him out all the time. We broke up over 7 years ago. In fact, he was their pool boy until he moved out of state like 3 years ago. They still see him for lunch/dinner when he is in town. I have had it out and explained it to my mom multiple times but she doesn't get it because "he was a kid" (17) when they met him and she feels like she was a surrogate mom? or something? I don't know. They cosigned on his loan to get a condo many years ago. A condo HE didn't even live in, but rented out to HIS GIRLFRIEND!

I get the annoyance. I also get the buying off. I've just let it go, since my parents will obviously keep contact with him forever. Le sigh. Parents. I swear.

[Wrath0fKuus]

jojoandleo, that is completely fucking insane.

[gozf]

Mar 28, 2013 15:30:42 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

My mom and step dad still spend time with my HS boyfriend and help him out all the time. We broke up over 7 years ago. In fact, he was their pool boy until he moved out of state like 3 years ago. They still see him for lunch/dinner when he is in town. I have had it out and explained it to my mom multiple times but she doesn't get it because "he was a kid" (17) when they met him and she feels like she was a surrogate mom? or something? I don't know. They cosigned on his loan to get a condo many years ago. A condo HE didn't even live in, but rented out to HIS GIRLFRIEND!

I get the annoyance. I also get the buying off. I've just let it go, since my parents will obviously keep contact with him forever. Le sigh. Parents. I swear.

They co-signed a condo with him?!  Yowza.

Our families should never meet.  Never ever.