why do people try to scare you?

[sarack]

i swear every day someone tells me 'i'm in for it'. yesterday this 85 year old women who works at one of our franchises told me that feeding one baby is hell, i'm never gonna quit with 2.. and i'll be so tired and probably cry every day. today some women was discussing how her teenager is horrible, then looks at me and goes, i'm so glad i only had one.

i'm so happy i'm having 2.. why do people always have something bad to say about it? i'm sure it's going to be hard, i'm not an idiot, but i am positive the pros will outweigh the cons. plus, i'll only know how it is for 2 babies, God willing. right?

anyway, this bums me out.

[jennlin]

people are dumb. (this answers many life questions).

[sarack]

Mar 29, 2013 12:19:21 GMT -5 jennlin said:

people are dumb. (this answers many life questions).

this is true. 

should i be scared? i mean.. were you guys scared? i am pretty confident, and i don't want to be defeated, which i'm sure some days i will be worn down, but i know there are tons of people around who want to support me.

[jennlin]

Mar 29, 2013 12:23:45 GMT -5 sarack said:

should i be scared? i mean.. were you guys scared? i am pretty confident, and i don't want to be defeated, which i'm sure some days i will be worn down, but i know there are tons of people around who want to support me.

honestly, no. not saying i never had any freak-out moments...but there's really nothing to be afraid of. they're little--you are an adult. you are responsible. it will be difficult, but you will make sacrifices, and it will work.

[sarack]

Mar 29, 2013 12:35:26 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

I don't think you/we should be scared, but it's not a bad idea to have a realistic idea. It's gonna be hard, we will be sleep deprived, our H will probably not help as much as we want, we'll be emotional, we might have post-partum. It's not gonna be all sunshine and lollipops. But, it will still be amazing. And we'll survive. And we'll probably complain a lot too.

i'm sure. i already feel like h isn't supporting me as much as i'd like him to. he also mentioned that he just feels weird having sex with me now that i'm pregnant, which makes me cry. we wanted to be pregnant for so long.. and now things are just weird. he is normally super supportive.. but he isn't right now. i'm sure he's scared and overwhelmed.. but i want him to talk to me about it. he keeps telling me don't worry about anything but these babies. but it's hard, because i love him and i want him to feel ok. i don't know. random vent.

[meshimeshi]

I think having twins will definitely come with its challenges. But I definitely think there can be some advantages to it also. Twins always have that special bond and therefore your kids will always have someone to play with and someone to talk to and in turn be able to keep themselves entertained in some cases. I think that right there could be something that makes life easier.

And really, how different is having two kids 2-3 years apart? They will still be teens at the same time. What does it matter if your teens are the same age?

People are always going to share their own stupid opinion about something...but just throw it back at them. I have this stupid girl (not really related to your story) who I work with. She has a boyfriend back in NY who works on Wall St and makes tons of money. She has said many times that she is with him for the money so she can be a stay at home wife in the suburbs and never work. She cheats on him all the time here and he has cheated on her....but she will never leave him because of the money. Anyway, I'm saying this because she always talks about how she can't believe she thought it was a good idea to come here and make her own money and she has said, "well, this was cute, butttt time to go back home.." When she says this to me, I always say, "Yah, well teaching is my life. I could never imagine not doing this." ......That always shuts her up right away. That's my point. Just say something to those stupid women to shut them right up.

When she says, "I'm so glad I only had one..." ...you should just be like, "Yah, well I could never have just one kid. It's always been my dream to have a big family and I couldn't be happier." with a smirky smile on your face.

[picksthemusic]

Mar 29, 2013 16:28:59 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

I feel these people are just as irritating as the people who say: enjoy every minute of it, they grow up so fast.

I HATE THIS. Like...yeah, I'm going to take my child for granted on purpose, but hey, thanks for the reminder!

GRR.

Also, the people who say this are the people who have grown children.

[7costanza]

I agree with Jennlin, people are dumb.

I think it's normal to be scared, it's such a huge unknown, but people have been doing this for eternity and no matter what you will make it through just fine. I get really tired of the comments and advice too, but I'm choosing to have a positive outlook and planning on the baby fitting into our lives, not the other way around. It sounds like you have a great attitude, and I'm sure you will do great with two babies (plus how fun! I always wanted to be a twin or have them someday)

[7costanza]

I agree with Jennlin, people are dumb.

I think it's normal to be scared, it's such a huge unknown, but people have been doing this for eternity and no matter what you will make it through just fine. I get really tired of the comments and advice too, but I'm choosing to have a positive outlook and planning on the baby fitting into our lives, not the other way around. It sounds like you have a great attitude, and I'm sure you will do great with two babies (plus how fun! I always wanted to be a twin or have them someday)

[niq]

I think parents feel especially entitled to tell FTPs that they have no idea what they are getting into. Which is true. But I'm pretty sure most FTPs already know that.

My favorite is the guy in our office who keeps offering child-rearing advice, and when I point out that everyone disagreeing with him is a parent and he's not, he says "I take care of my niece and nephew for a few days at a time when I visit them". I'm actually more okay with non-parents giving parents advice than most, but LOL at that one.

[niq]

Mar 29, 2013 16:28:59 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

I feel these people are just as irritating as the people who say: enjoy every minute of it, they grow up so fast.

I thought you were one of those people?!

[sarack]

Mar 30, 2013 8:24:55 GMT -5 niq said:

I think parents feel especially entitled to tell FTPs that they have no idea what they are getting into. Which is true. But I'm pretty sure most FTPs already know that.

My favorite is the guy in our office who keeps offering child-rearing advice, and when I point out that everyone disagreeing with him is a parent and he's not, he says "I take care of my niece and nephew for a few days at a time when I visit them". I'm actually more okay with non-parents giving parents advice than most, but LOL at that one.

i feel like I've learned a TON from my nephews and helping to take care of them. i know i can always give them back, so having my own will be slightly different... ok a fuckton different.. but i'll be ok. i don't need people to tel me things to try to discourage me. it's not nice.

[niq]

Mar 30, 2013 10:56:22 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Mar 30, 2013 8:25:12 GMT -5 niq said:

I thought you were one of those people?!

Ogod, have I said that? Now I can't remember, so if I have said it to you, I apologize.

But no, I haven't enjoyed every minute of it and I think anyone who says that is lying. There were times on maternity leave after my mom left and after my husband went to work that all I could do was stare at the clock and will it to become 6 so my husband could come home and take Mr. Crankypants off my hands for a few blessed minutes. My son only ever catnaps (still), which means those books you read about 2 hour windows to shower and be human, they never existed for me, cause it's not like he napped more frequently, he still took the same 1-2 hour window between 10-30 minute naps. And sometimes, when it's been a particularly bad day, I wonder what I'd be doing if I were not a parent again. I love my kid. He is one of the greatest things in my life, but yeah. Have not enjoyed every second of it.

But? They do grow up fast. And as weird as it sounds, I really am jealous of parents of newborns. I miss... everything about those first 8 weeks. Was just watching old Thor videos today and I started crying. Silly mommy.

This, www.huffingtonpost.com/amber-dusick/my-reaction-to-pregnancy-announcements_b_2880144.html, is already true for me, and I still masochistically want a second child.

Okay, I guess I just see you talking a lot about the growing up fast part. Now that I think about it I know there are parts that you don't enjoy it .