Did your mom travel for job when you were growing up?

[Deleted]

Talk to me about this.

How much?
Do you think it impacted your upbringing in a positive, negative or neutral way?
Other thoughts?

I travel a fair bit for my job - and I feel like my kids are fine with it.  I write notes for H to put under their pillows to read before they go to bed, talk to them 1x/2x per day...but then I think about myself as a child and realize my mom, never once, spent a night away from us.  Not even to go away on a trip with my dad.

Just looking for perspective and insight.

[pantsparty]

My mom did not, she was a SAHM. But...whatever your kids are used to is normal. It's not necessarily a bad thing for them to see, and I'm sure you get plenty of quality time with them when you are home.

I actually wished my mom would go away sometimes, LOL. She was ALWAYS THERE!

[hopecounts]

My mom was a teacher so no.
She did do trips with my dad (he traveled some) and we'd stay with my Gran during pre/post planning.
It sounds like your doing a good job of staying present even when you're traveling so I think you're fine.
Like Pants said what your kids know is their normal.

[angelaa73]

No. But my dad did. We're fine! They'll be fine! Well, one of them may end up on meth for a while like my idiot sister... but in the end... Fine!

Hahahh

sent from my thank you Easter Bunny BOCK BOCK!!!

[biggulp15]

Yes. Probably up to 2-3 times per month. My dad did too, so when their trips overlapped there was quite a bit of juggling needed and family and friends called on to help out, give rides, etc.

Did it negatively impact me? I don't think so. If anything, I feel much more aware of the strains raising kids can put on a career (I don't have kids yet, btw). I also kind of liked the opportunity to spend time with just my dad when he was the sole parent for a few nights.

We managed but I wouldn't say it was easy. Actually, I do recall that my mom wad scheduled to go on a business trip the day after I got my very first period. She felt horribly guilty. I mostly didn't want it to be a big deal, so it didn't bother me, but I imagine her traveling negatively impacted her more than us because she knew what she was potentially missing out on, whereas we as kids did not. Not sure if that makes sense.

[Deleted]

Once every two months. But my dad wass gone weeks at a time. He was gone more than he was home. I never felt slighted they were great parents.

[TemperanceBrennan]

My mom did on occasion. She was a single mom and when she did have to travel our grandparents took care of us. She did it maybe once or twice a year. Usually for training.

I don't think there was any negative impact on us. It was just what she had to do for her job. Since it wasn't that often, she would usually buy us each something small from where she was and then tell us about the place she was at. For us, that part was fun. We didn't get to travel when we were growing up. So, hearing about the places was cool.

[Deleted]

Ok, this is helpful to hear. I actually don't feel "bad" or that I'm taking away from their childhood...but I was thinking about a trip I have to do this week and one thought led to another in which I realized my mom NEVER went anywhere overnight when I was growing.

So I figured I should gut check myself with you broads.

Also, I think any guilt I have is assuaged by the fact H is home with them for the bedtime routine, so they have at least one parent at home 98% of the time (very rarely does our travel overlap.)

But again, didn't want to be that mom that ended up on Intervention (ANGELA!) and is all "but I didn't KNOOOWWWWW they were so impacted by me being away for work! I would done it differently if I thought it would lead them to a life of (insert drug of choice here)"

[Deleted]

She went back to work when I was 12 or so, and traveled quite a bit for the 4 years or so after that. We got good souvenirs, and my dad would take us to Roy Rogers (my favorite!) when she was gone, so I count it as a win. I never felt unloved or sad that she was gone, but I was older by then.

My dad traveled to Europe for about a week a month thereafter, and that was also a win because of souvenirs (and also, I was in college/law school for much of it).

The real wins would be when both of my parents went on vacation together and left us behind

[sillygoosegirl]

My mom didn't, but my dad traveled some for work. It always seemed like it was much harder on my mom for him to be away than it was on me. Actually, that's the way it looks to me with other families with children where one parent travels: it's harder on the spouse than the kids.

[gretchenindisguise]

My dad did more of the traveling. We missed him, but I don't think it impacted our relationship at all - we're still really close. I guess when we were really young, it was harder on us - but I don't really remember it. My dad did eventually switch positions so he could be home more. When he was gone though - it was more constant than your trips seem to be. He could be working one job out of state for 6 months, coming home only on weekends.

When we were older (middle school and high school), my mom sometimes worked summers away. She was gone for the whole summer, but we went to stay with her for a few weeks each year. Again, we missed her, but I don't think it impacted our relationship at all - we're still really close

[Deleted]

Ok, good. I particularly feel encouraged by all the positives that a lot of you mentioned (souvenirs, etc!)

Thank you!

[kristie]

My mom was always home and my one brother is a loser and the other one has no drive or plans to do anything with his life. So yeah, I think about this all the time since I am gone three nights a week. But I would rather my daughter see me working my ass off and loving what I do than trying to always be there to the detriment of other things. I will screw her up in some way, but hopefully it won't be because I work hard and love my job but am not always there.

[Deleted]

Apr 1, 2013 17:57:06 GMT -5 kristie said:

My mom was always home and my one brother is a loser and the other one has no drive or plans to do anything with his life. So yeah, I think about this all the time since I am gone three nights a week. But I would rather my daughter see me working my ass off and loving what I do than trying to always be there to the detriment of other things. I will screw her up in some way, but hopefully it won't be because I work hard and love my job but am not always there.

So in other words...you're in for sharing airtime during an Intervention episode? Heh

[kristie]

Lol, pretty much

[candreco]

My mom did a couple times a year, and also would go on trips with my dad or my aunt, I don't think this damaged my sister and I.

I normally travel for work about a week per month, and DD is fine with it. Frankly it's good time for her and DH to spend together, she's much less clingy with me after I've been OOT.

[sonrisa]

Apr 1, 2013 17:16:45 GMT -5 fields said:

Talk to me about this.

How much?
Do you think it impacted your upbringing in a positive, negative or neutral way?
Other thoughts?

I travel a fair bit for my job - and I feel like my kids are fine with it.  I write notes for H to put under their pillows to read before they go to bed, talk to them 1x/2x per day...but then I think about myself as a child and realize my mom, never once, spent a night away from us.  Not even to go away on a trip with my dad.

Just looking for perspective and insight.

Habs has talked about her mom traveling for work in the military. I think she's still over on CEP if you want her thoughts.

My dad travelled a ton. To the point I never knew if he was going to be home that night when I left school. It was just normal to me. My mom never traveled for work and when she travelled we had a ton of notice. While the gender is different I never felt like it was about us and it never bothered me. He often brought a token present back. Despite that, he was a really involved dad - more so than many of my friends. Mom would travel with him 3 or 4 times a year and another solo trip or two. I still felt like she was always there.

Does your husband travel for work much? If he doesn't then they will know that daddy is usually home at night (with a few exceptions) and mommy loves you and will be back. It will be okay.

[fuckyourcouch]

My mom did once. My dad basically was always away because he worked graveyard shift.

I really don't think it made any difference. They were still both great parents and I have a great relationship with both of them.

[Deleted]

My mom didn't work.

I bet I would've thought her more interesting if she'd traveled.

[lindsaymg]

No, she worked but she only traveled like two times for a training and once when she was deposed.

I travel some and my husband travels a lot. Carter actually likes it. He has our family routine, his mom only routine and his dad only routine. He gets to do things with only one parent that we would never do if we were all there. It is his special time and if we don't travel for a while he asks when mom or dad will "go away" so he can have his special time. Ha. He is obviously not scarred.

[cleo29]

My dad did.  From what I remember and from what my mom has told me, he was very involved with us when he was home and I think that made a positive difference.

[Jalapeñomel]

All the time.  Maybe once a month?

[Jalapeñomel]

And my dad did too for the military. I turned out just fine, and it never bothered me at all.

[Deleted]

My mom worked nights when we were really young. It was fine. She started travelling when my brother was in college and my sister and I were in HS. We didn't have any issues with it. She was never gone for longer than 3-4 days at a time and it was only 3-4 trips a year. I think my dad had a harder time with it than we did.

[2boys2danes]

My mom was a SAHM and my dad travelled a lot during his career. I missed him a lot but we always have had a great relationship. It made my mom and I close while he was gone... we did special things, ate special things etc. I wouldnt change it for a thing!

I travel a good bit as well and have since we've had kids... I always try to bring the boys little things (even if its a candy bar from the airport), call, email or text them now that they are older. I way relax as well so I dont really care what they eat for dinner or breakfast while I'm gone as long as they are happy and all is well in the house. I gave up that control freak a long time ago. Dad's in charge while I'm gone... dont call me looking for a yes when he said no

[Moe]

Dad did.

Mom did with sister, because of all her illnesses (that required her to go to PR, sometimes for weeks at the time).

I'm sane.

Oh wait.

[milosh]

Yes, but not until I was a tween. I think it helped me get a little closer with my dad.

[azurely]

No, neither of my parents traveled much.

I remember my mom going to a work conference once when I was probably 8 or 9, and I remember being so traumatized and telling her, "OMG mom how can you leave me at home, alone, with dad and little brother???" She was probably gone 2-3 days... I was a dramatic kid.

I don't think parents traveling is necessarily bad for a kid, but I did like having them both around most of the time.

[macmars45]

No neither of my parents traveled for work; they were both elementary school teachers. They did take a week vacation alone together and leave us with our childcare provider. My siblings and I loved staying with our childcare provider for that week! We looked forward to it every year. When we were in high school they bumped their vacations to two a year and we stayed home alone.

Your kids will be fine.