Sadness (Parkinson's related)

[jeekerbeeker]

So, my maternal grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson's several years back.  It's been a slow decline but the last few times I've visited him he seems to be deteriorating more rapidly.  Today is his 81st birthday so I went to the nursing home where he lives to visit during my lunch break.

He seems to have gotten so much worse than the last time I saw him.  I can see it especially in his facial movements.  He's lost quite a bit of hair, looks much thinner and is permanently slumped over a little.  It's affected his speech so much that he barely talks above a low whisper and he doesn't hear well so it's almost impossible to have a conversation with him.  Mostly he just sat and smiled at me.

I'm sad this afternoon because it's really hitting me that he won't be around forever.  I'm very close to him and my grandmother and my heart hurts so much.  All I can think about is that he most likely be around to see me have a baby, that my grandmother will be hurting once he's gone, I'll never hear his voice or hear stories from him again, etc.  My mind is just kind of all over the place today.  I know that these things happen and no one lives forever but it's just so hard. 

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here but I just wanted to get it all out.  Sorry so long

[jeekerbeeker]

I'm really sorry loony.  My heart goes out to you and your family. (hug) (hug2)

[snorky]

I sorry. My grandmother had Parkinson's and watching her decline was heart wrenching. It is such a terrible disease.

[lime]

I'm so sorry. ((( big hugs )))

[luckyval]

I'm really sorry jeeker. My grandfather had Parkinson's as well and it was difficult to watch.

Just know that your company is valuable to him - tell him about what's going on with you. Even if he can't respond, I'm sure he's happy to see you.

(((hug)))

[Captain Serious]

I'm so sorry.

[eb777888]

I'm so so sorry.

[jeekerbeeker]

Thanks so much everyone.  I really do appreciate your kind words.  (heart)

[karmasabiotch]

I'm so sorry. It's so hard watching people you love go through this, hugs...