A fun story for you all today.

[Deleted]

So my grandmother died at the beginning of March. My dad, grandpa and sibs have decided it's time to go through some of her stuff.

They are doing the clothes this weekend.

My one aunt is completely nuts/out of touch with reality/completely weird/practical to the point of ridiculousness.

Crazy Aunt decides that since grandma was short and petite like me that I should inherit all of her clothes.

My dad calls and tells me to expect a truckload of clothes at my house sometime Sunday.
I'm all, "Dad, WTF am I going to do with those?"
My dad agrees but crazy Aunt won't take no for an answer becuase she wants to see someone she knows wear them, not a random at Goodwill.

Again, WTF is all I got at this point.


Now grandma had good style, but she was 85. I don't think matching Alfred Dunner floral pantsuits are for me just yet.

At least my Dad said as long as he can say he delivered them to my house, they don't even need to get out of the truck and I can drive them straight to Goodwill.


And to think all I want is her dining room set. Which I made clear I'm willing to pay a fair price for as it's a decent Shaker style set with the spindly chairs and everything. Nothing super ornate, fancy or high end but pretty and it has memories for me. I'm thinking a fair price is like less than $500.00 because it's also chipped and needs a restain. Crazy Aunt is telling me 5K. Ha! We'll see how that pans out.

[april37]

WTF is right. Why would anyone think you would wear your grandma's clothes? So odd!

My parents collect antiques which I'm just not into. I hope they downsize before they die because I really don't want to deal with all that junk.

I hope you get the table!

[mrs.jacinthe]

LOL at the idea of you wearing alfred dunner.  LOLOLOL

I have to say I am pretty  ^o) at paying $$$ in order to obtain one thing from a deceased relative.  Is this a common thing?  We've dealt with the loss of both R's grandmothers and both times, family was all
"what would you like?  Can I offer you 6 billion other things, too?"  Of course, there was some negotiating if two people wanted the same thing, but I don't think talk of paying for anything even crossed anyone's mind.

[ktzmoh]

Apr 4, 2013 14:14:37 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

LOL at the idea of you wearing alfred dunner.  LOLOLOL

I have to say I am pretty   at paying $$$ in order to obtain one thing from a deceased relative.  Is this a common thing?  We've dealt with the loss of both R's grandmothers and both times, family was all
"what would you like?  Can I offer you 6 billion other things, too?"  Of course, there was some negotiating if two people wanted the same thing, but I don't think talk of paying for anything even crossed anyone's mind.

I agree!

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2013 14:14:37 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

LOL at the idea of you wearing alfred dunner.  LOLOLOL

I have to say I am pretty   at paying $$$ in order to obtain one thing from a deceased relative.  Is this a common thing?  We've dealt with the loss of both R's grandmothers and both times, family was all
"what would you like?  Can I offer you 6 billion other things, too?"  Of course, there was some negotiating if two people wanted the same thing, but I don't think talk of paying for anything even crossed anyone's mind.

Nah. It's not really common but in my Dad's family it's not a big deal. My grandma had some super nice stuff and there's bound to be fights over a few things. There's 4 kid and 13 grandkids to get through. So to keep it fair, they took all the good stuff and basically decided to "auction" it off amongst family. The money is going to some trust my grandfather who is still living started years ago, so whatever we buy we'll all get back someday anyways. Weird, but my dad's family is all about fairness and there's some crazies so I can't blame them at this point.  Otherwise, most of it is just random stuff and it's going to piles free for the taking. Whatever cuts down on the b*tching later I guess.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Huh. I guess auctioning is one way to go. Ok then.

[moolarkey]

My brother's x MIL came from a family of 6 kids. When their parents died the way they handled dispersing of goods was that none of them were allowed in the house alone, there always had to be at least 1 other sibling present. Then they started with the oldest, he was allowed to choose 1 thing and they worked there way through all 6 kids (they were all in their late 40s to upper 50s at this time) then they started over but started with the youngest. They kept doing this until everyone had gotten everything they wanted out. Then the auctioned what was left.

My brother and I split everything, no arguments at all. We let our children each pick somethings. That got dicey because I knew there was something odd about what my brother's son & his wife were picking. Something didn't feel right. I finally told my brother about it. He questioned them and found out his DIL was choosing things she was going to take back to their home (another state) and sell. She wasn't choosing things that meant something to her or their kids and the point was for them all to have a few things to remember their grandparents by. My brother made his son & DIL put everything back. They were allowed to choose only 1 thing for each of them and one for each of their kids - my brother's choice, not mine.

When my mom's parents died. After the siblings picked some the things they wanted - and the things specifically left to them, the grandchildren were allowed to choose a few things. Everything else went in an auction. I couldn't go but H went and bought several more things.

[bunnymendelbaum]

One of my Aunts STOLE things of my deceased Grandmother's. Things everyone in the family knew where supposed to go to other family members. Plus, my grandmother labeled the actual things with who should get what. Mysteriously, those labels disappeared. The same Aunt was the first and only person in my Grandmother's house after she died. Hmmmm...

Death in the family really brings out the worst in some people.

I LOL'd at you wearing the Alfred Dunner too. Might be pretty comfy though...

[Deleted]

Yeah, my other grandma just died the year before and there's jewelry meant for all of us no one can find. Pretty sure my Uncle (who lived with her) girlfriend ran away with it. Whatever. I guess.

And yeah the money thing is weird, but it's pretty fair. My grandpa is still alive and with it so there's no risk of anyone running away with stuff and every visit is documented on a notepad for right now. Also, the really really great stuff grandma wanted certain people to have was in the will long ago. This is just random stuff/stuff grandma didn't think would be sentimental/stuff she's still using.

And LOL to the Alfred Dunner..grandma literally had a closet full..looked great on her for sure. H has been making jokes all day about how if I get pregnant soon....they'd be some kick ass comfy maternity clothes. Ha!

[bunnymendelbaum]

That's how I feel about my aunt Dairy. If that's the type of (horrible, awful, disrespectful) person she wants to be, then fine. Honoring my grandmother means more to me than some (not even that valuable) belongings.

[SusanBAnthony]

Apr 4, 2013 14:14:37 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

LOL at the idea of you wearing alfred dunner.  LOLOLOL

I have to say I am pretty   at paying $$$ in order to obtain one thing from a deceased relative.  Is this a common thing?  We've dealt with the loss of both R's grandmothers and both times, family was all
"what would you like?  Can I offer you 6 billion other things, too?"  Of course, there was some negotiating if two people wanted the same thing, but I don't think talk of paying for anything even crossed anyone's mind.

My grandparents died a year ago and they "sold" the stuff that had value.  By sold I mena people "bought" what they wanted, and the money was taken out of their inheritance.  They did it that way for a variety of reasons, one of which was there were 7 siblings who all hated each other and thus tons of fighting, one of which was that Gma was in a nursing home and had to spend down assets, and they had a lot of $$$ antiques that were not family heirlooms, so in case she spent down all her money, my uncle had to account for where the 10K antique table went.  

They came up with a group of things that were "family heirlooms" and those they just went around in order and each got a turn to pick stuff.  Then the non-heirloom stuff, my uncle put prices on and anyone who wanted could buy them.

Now, on my other side of the family when my g'pa died, that will not happen.  No one hates each other and no one is white trash, and g'pa has plenty of money to pay for a nursing home.  

[SusanBAnthony]

Oh, and I totally inherited some of my g'mas clothes. All went to goodwill except one swimsuit! It isn't high fashion, but it works for swimming with the kids, lol. When we cleaned out her closet, we found 10K in cash stuffed in coat pockets, purses, etc. G'pa didn't know about it. We think bc g'ma grew up super poor, it was a OCD security blanket kind of thing. Still, bizarre considering that they were pretty well off for at least the last 20 years.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2013 18:40:15 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

That's how I feel about my aunt Dairy. If that's the type of (horrible, awful, disrespectful) person she wants to be, then fine. Honoring my grandmother means more to me than some (not even that valuable) belongings.

This is where I am too. My grandmother that died last summer would be turning in her grave to know there's drama over her stuff..most of which isn't all that exciting. I just honor her memory the best I can and just be a bit bummed on the inside (I really wanted her ruby ring meant for me after all).

Whatever. It's only stuff. It won't be going with me when I die either.

[emjacobs]

Apr 4, 2013 18:02:19 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

One of my Aunts STOLE things of my deceased Grandmother's. Things everyone in the family knew where supposed to go to other family members. Plus, my grandmother labeled the actual things with who should get what. Mysteriously, those labels disappeared. The same Aunt was the first and only person in my Grandmother's house after she died. Hmmmm...

Death in the family really brings out the worst in some people.

I LOL'd at you wearing the Alfred Dunner too. Might be pretty comfy though...

Yeah when my grandmother passed my uncle pawned all of the jewelry of value, including the pearls that my mom brought back from Italy for her. The only real pearls that she had, she left them to me in her will. I have specific instructions when my grandfather dies to go to the house, clear out the safes and take it and put it in a safe deposit box at the bank until my mother can split it evenly per the will. 

[Deleted]

When my grandma passed, we found out that my aunt stole $90k from each of her three brothers and sisters. She got a crooked attny to sign off on changing the will while my gma was living in dementia center.

[thatgirl2478]

When my MIL passed, my FIL kept trying to get me to take her clothes. Including socks and a new pack of undies (they were true granny panties)... A - we weren't the same size B - she was like 40 yrs my senior so we didn't really have the same style. WTF?

There are only a few things from my IL's that I'd really want (a few pictures, one china setting, etc). From my parents I'm not sure what will happen. There are a few things I'd really want, but none of their furniture fits in my house (they have 10' ceilings & antiques that fit that ceiling height - we have 8' ceilings....).

[peach]

I triple dog dare you to wear a floral pant suit to the next family function.

[davescatch]

Hey dairy - I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother

I had to laugh about the AD clothes - I put up a post about it this morning.

[sweetpea508]

We want to see an AD fashion show My grandma who had Alzheimer's actually made us take a lot of her stuff that she wanted us to have before she got too bad. My Uncle got her wedding silver, I got her jewelry, and I can't remember what my Dad got. She was very specific with her wishes but it was still hard after she passed. She willed her house to both my Uncle and Dad. My Uncle wanted to live there so my Dad requested that he buy my Dad's half off the house. My Uncle did but has never forgiven my Dad since. He refuses to talk to him and is basically a dick about my Dad even when we talk so I have stopped having a relationship with him.

[housegeek]

Apr 4, 2013 18:02:19 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

One of my Aunts STOLE things of my deceased Grandmother's. Things everyone in the family knew where supposed to go to other family members. Plus, my grandmother labeled the actual things with who should get what. Mysteriously, those labels disappeared. The same Aunt was the first and only person in my Grandmother's house after she died. Hmmmm...

Death in the family really brings out the worst in some people.

I LOL'd at you wearing the Alfred Dunner too. Might be pretty comfy though...

This is our story too. My aunt stole everything and wouldn't let anyone have anything, pawned anything good off for money for drugs and then a couple months ago, nearly 20 years later, she delivered a couple molded and completely thrashed dolls I used to love when I was young Stupid lady.