Finally feel like I've recovered from PP depression...

[devotchka]

Sorry for the rant to come  

So - I feel like I was kind of in denial for the most part of last year since giving birth and only realized that I had PP late last year. I had a rough recovery from my c-section (maybe because it was an emergency one and I had a uterine infection, fever, etc.? or maybe I'm just unlucky) and had a really bad virus that we caught in the hospital so that made it harder to recover - but I feel like even with the crying, etc. after birth, I just thought it was baby blues and not full blown depression. I think my happiness and joy from the baby overshadowed the issues I was having, and I was kind of in denial about it as a result.

I think that going back to work (and then leaving my job months later) really was incredibly difficult for me, and although the circumstances were fucked up (I was supposed to get my old job back but my boss left and it basically fucked me over as a result and I ended up getting a different job, hated it, didn't get along w/ my replacement and everyone drove me crazy so I ended up leaving)

It's April now and although I have been sick for the last month or so and was kind of quarantined at home, I literally feel like a curtain has been lifted. Ever since the weather has gotten warmer here and it's getting lighter out in the evenings, I feel like myself again, and it's really awesome. I also (coincidentally or not) am not feeling like I am eating compulsively anymore or feeling like eating as much sugar at night, which I think was a big "side effect" of the depression (not to mention my crazy nursing hunger). It's also been a long time since I really cried like I used to. I feel like I am healthier overall, cooking more, and in general just happier and it's really awesome. I am not as terrified of leaving M and going back to work this Fall (he is probably going to a preschool if I can get a good job) and things have just leveled out. 

It's interesting that depression just seems like a normal part of your life until the curtain lifts and you realize what you've been feeling isn't really "normal" after all...

 

[formerlyllizzyb]

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Every year, I barely make it through the months of Jan-March. I breathe a huge sigh of relief once April rolls around.

[devotchka]

Apr 8, 2013 17:12:14 GMT -5 formerlyllizzyb said:

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Every year, I barely make it through the months of Jan-March. I breathe a huge sigh of relief once April rolls around.

Aw thanks! I've never noticed seasonal issues as much as this year!

[devotchka]

Apr 8, 2013 16:29:06 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

I'm glad it sounds like you are back to being you again! I hope that you continue to feel content

thanks!

[devotchka]

Apr 8, 2013 16:30:29 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

I'm really glad you are feeling better. Women go through sooooooo many different emotions during pregnancy and after that it is so hard to decipher what to take seriously and what is just simple baby blues. Warm weather almost never fails to brighten my life.

Big hugs.

Thanks! It really is so hard to decipher. Warm weather is an amazing drug