MYOB or say something?

[Deleted]

I agree with blocking him.

[Susie]

Apr 12, 2013 10:03:13 GMT -5 swizz said:

I feel like the answer to this is always MYOB, lol.

I think so too

What a sucky situation though.

[dexteroni]

I don't think the answer is always MYOB - if this were my brother, I would say something - but if you already know he won't react well to it, I don't see the point of saying anything.

[aspentosh]

Apr 12, 2013 10:17:48 GMT -5 @beagle said:

What I would want to do? Tell him to back the fuck off.

What I would really do? MMOB.

+1

[ECB]

Apr 12, 2013 10:09:38 GMT -5 swizz said:

Apr 12, 2013 10:09:02 GMT -5 v said:

Yeah, I just feel bad because he's making them look worse than they already do.

Honestly  - I would tell him this.  And that's it. I'd back away afterwards.

[definitelyO]

it's your brother - could you say to him that from an outsider perspective that his responses don't seem to be helping the business? Thanks!

[cjeanette]

I am giving him the side-eye for not seeing why people are up in arms about this? I would say something to him. He really shouldn't be representing his ILs business.

[Raggedeannie]

swizz, the limited press I have seen on this actually seems to be fairly neutral and paints the situation as a misunderstanding. The reader isn't left angry at the restaurant owner. I would hate for your brother's negative comments to taint the public story in a more negative light.
Have to agree with ECB and 246baje that you should tell him this.

[thatgirl2478]

Apr 12, 2013 10:28:03 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

it's your brother - could you say to him that from an outsider perspective that his responses don't seem to be helping the business? Thanks!

This.

He needs to back the f off!

[lime]

I have a shitty relationship with my sister, so I don't think saying anything to her would help at all. And frankly, it sounds like a lot of damage has already been done.

I wouldn't be surprised if the business was boycotted and went under at this point.

ETA - NM, I just saw the update saying the press is neutral for now. I was typing as you posted. 

[Deleted]

ditto others about telling him once and then backing off. It was wrong of her. She should just apologize gracefully. His insulting their background or whatever has nothing to do with the situation.

I am just curious though--are they Muslim and was the restaurant halal? Because I was told by friend that they cannot have any kind of contact with dogs. If they come into contact with dogs, there has to be this very extensive cleansing process. I just wonder if that may have contributed to her actions.

[lime]

Absolutely, yes, they should be bending over backwards to fix this.

It sounds like no matter what you do, your brother certainly won't change his behavior regarding this situation.

[y4m]

If this were like your MIL or boss or something, I'd keep your mouth shut. But this is your brother. Call his ass out.

ETA after reading your last sentence: even if you think it will piss him off, as long as you don't think it will make him dig in and behave even worse.

[Deleted]

Oh yeah and you should not care if he is pissed. His lack of empathy for people with special needs is disgusting and his ass needs to be called out and set straight.

[hurricanedrunk]

Depends on the relationship you have with your brother. I have two and am much closer to my older bro and not so close to my younger one. I would absolutely say something to the brother I have a good relationship with but would MMOB with the one I don't (it would fall on deaf ears anyway).

I would have to agree with other posters that I am surprised about the restaurants response, you'd think they would be apologizing up and down.

[phunluvin82]

Apr 12, 2013 12:43:19 GMT -5 swizz said:

Apr 12, 2013 11:15:32 GMT -5 lime said:

Absolutely, yes, they should be bending over backwards to fix this.

It sounds like no matter what you do, your brother certainly won't change his behavior regarding this situation.

They have made public apologies and apparently reached out to the guy to apologize personally. They've also agreed to donate money to the organization that helps train service animals for wounded warriors, so it's not like they're being dicks or ignoring the situation.

I just think that my brother's comments have the potential to turn the public opinion away from the good that they're doing to fix their mistake.

Given this info, I would say something to him...even if he gets pissed. Honestly, it probably is a MYOB scenario...but I don't know if I would be able to bite my tongue with a sibling.    But I would not even bother getting into the nuts and bolts of the issue re: empathy for people with disabilities, explaining why people are up in arms, etc...seems like you'd just be talking to yourself there...I would only mention how his behavior/comments could further damage the business and ask if that is what he wants.   Then, like others said, I would back off quickly and leave it be.

[dexteroni]

Apr 12, 2013 14:52:52 GMT -5 phunluvin82 said:

Apr 12, 2013 12:43:19 GMT -5 swizz said:

They have made public apologies and apparently reached out to the guy to apologize personally. They've also agreed to donate money to the organization that helps train service animals for wounded warriors, so it's not like they're being dicks or ignoring the situation.

I just think that my brother's comments have the potential to turn the public opinion away from the good that they're doing to fix their mistake.

Given this info, I would say something to him...even if he gets pissed. Honestly, it probably is a MYOB scenario...but I don't know if I would be able to bite my tongue with a sibling.    But I would not even bother getting into the nuts and bolts of the issue re: empathy for people with disabilities, explaining why people are up in arms, etc...seems like you'd just be talking to yourself there...I would only mention how his behavior/comments could further damage the business and ask if that is what he wants.   Then, like others said, I would back off quickly and leave it be.

After reading this update, I agree. I would say something out of concern for his ILs, who made a big mistake, yes, but seem to be attempting to make up for it. I'm wondering if his wife has said anything to him about knocking it off. If she has, and he's blown her off, *maybe* hearing it from another source will register with him.  If she hasn't, either because she lets him do whatever he wants or she agrees with him, then at least you will have attempted to help the ILs in a constructive way.

[phunluvin82]

Apr 12, 2013 15:01:23 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Apr 12, 2013 14:52:52 GMT -5 phunluvin82 said:

Given this info, I would say something to him...even if he gets pissed. Honestly, it probably is a MYOB scenario...but I don't know if I would be able to bite my tongue with a sibling.    But I would not even bother getting into the nuts and bolts of the issue re: empathy for people with disabilities, explaining why people are up in arms, etc...seems like you'd just be talking to yourself there...I would only mention how his behavior/comments could further damage the business and ask if that is what he wants.   Then, like others said, I would back off quickly and leave it be.

After reading this update, I agree. I would say something out of concern for his ILs, who made a big mistake, yes, but seem to be attempting to make up for it. I'm wondering if his wife has said anything to him about knocking it off. If she has, and he's blown her off, *maybe* hearing it from another source will register with him.  If she hasn't, either because she lets him do whatever he wants or she agrees with him, then at least you will have attempted to help the ILs in a constructive way.

Yeah, I was going to mention that ideally it should be his ILs that tell him to knock it off, but was wondering if they are aware of the comments, etc, that he is making...and/or if they have already tried to say something to him.   

[gibbinator]

It's your brother, I'd tell him he's making it worse. I personally don't believe in myob when it comes to close friends and family

[AAM2012]

Apr 12, 2013 11:06:17 GMT -5 Raggedeannie said:

swizz, the limited press I have seen on this actually seems to be fairly neutral and paints the situation as a misunderstanding. The reader isn't left angry at the restaurant owner. I would hate for your brother's negative comments to taint the public story in a more negative light.
Have to agree with ECB and 246baje that you should tell him this.

While I am not familiar with the news article it does seem that your brother is making the situation far worse than it could be. I would tell brother to stop immediately if he wants the family business to continue. I would also maybe send a letter and/or respond to the news articles with an explanation and that it wasn't intentional.

[heygrey]

i'm not as myob as the rest of mm.

if this were my sibling i'd absolutely tell him to shut up. i'm not sure i'd try to be super kind in my email either. i'd just lay it all out and let it fall on deaf ears if that's what happens.

[Deleted]

Apr 12, 2013 11:15:10 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

ditto others about telling him once and then backing off. It was wrong of her. She should just apologize gracefully. His insulting their background or whatever has nothing to do with the situation.

Agree with this.  Because I am nosy, I would suggest the restaurant do a promotion - like vets eat free all next week, or more practically x% off and free drinks or what have you.  Turn that lemon into lemonade, baby!