Unlikely ppl to talk about IF with

[dana2006]

I've not told many ppl about our IF struggles and treatment, just a few close girlfriends. My parents and brother don't even know. Recently my first boyfriend called to say hi. He moved to the opposite coast about 15 years ago, got married and had two beautiful boys. We'd chat on the phone maybe once a year to catch up. I mentioned my IF issues during the recent phone call, when he asked whether we were planning on having kids. Somehow the question coming from him did not seem intrusive at all.

He just called and emailed me the contact info of an IVF doctor and an acupuncturist in my area, which he gleaned from a friend who had twins after seeing them. It's sweet to know that he's pulling for us. 

I'm still not ready to dicuss it with my family though.  

[BNL2]

I haven't told my family yet and probably never will. But I'm pretty open about it with a close circle of friends and some of my coworkers. It's easier for me to discuss it with people who I feel aren't invested in me having children. I'm sometimes surprised at how easily I can talk about it with some people.

That's really sweet of him to provide those contacts.

[G22]

BNL2 I'm the same way! My family just doesn't talk about some stuff, so for me to talk to them about IF just sounds so incredibly awkward. My sister knows, but she's an exception. My in laws however are open about EVERYTHING, and therefore know what were going through. Its not as awkward somehow.

I did just get done talking with our financial advisor. I wasn't planning on it but I ended up mentioning our IF struggle and turns out he and his wife went through it (and have a beautiful 5 yr daughter to show for it) and are now currently in the process of adopting. Funny how things work out.

OP that was really awesome of your friend!

[BNL2]

Apr 17, 2013 17:08:06 GMT -5 G22 said:

BNL2 I'm the same way! My family just doesn't talk about some stuff, so for me to talk to them about IF just sounds so incredibly awkward. My sister knows, but she's an exception. My in laws however are open about EVERYTHING, and therefore know what were going through. Its not as awkward somehow.

I did just get done talking with our financial advisor. I wasn't planning on it but I ended up mentioning our IF struggle and turns out he and his wife went through it (and have a beautiful 5 yr daughter to show for it) and are now currently in the process of adopting. Funny how things work out.

OP that was really awesome of your friend!

When something like this happens it throws me. Sometimes I feel like DH and I are the only people in the world experiencing IF. Then out of nowhere, someone will share with me that they've experienced IF too. It catches me off guard but in a good way.

[genet313]

My college ex-bf, I've stayed close with his best friend from high school.  Very random.  We check up on each other a few times a year.  He told me that his wife was expecting after IVF.   Totally out of the blue, over a Facebook message.  But then I also disclosed my struggles.  It was really, really nice.  And they just had a happy healthy baby, and I honestly could not be more excited for them.  

[kershnic]

That was a sweet thing for him to do!

I've mostly not enjoyed my offline efforts to talk about it. Mostly the people I've tried to tell seem like they just don't get it. Maybe I'm telling the wrong people.

[degal99]

I haven't really talked to anyone unexpected about it. But I did tell my coworker. However I have not told my family either.

[azurely]

That was nice!

The only people we have told are my BFF, another close friend, my parents, and my brother. My BFF has known from the beginning, because she knew when we started TTC. My other close friend asked me if I was pregnant after I passed up wine right before I found out I was having a second m/c and I can't lie, so I told her what was going on. I just told my parents last summer after we found out about the genetic stuff, and my mom told my brother. Everyone who knows has been very supportive, but I still hate talking about it with most people.

We haven't told my H's family, and I'm not sure we ever will. My ILs don't really talk about private stuff, and I think it would be a very awkward conversation. If they ever asked though, we would be honest, because I am a terrible liar.

[KaraOrNot]

Aww, that is nice. I haven't told anyone, but sometimes I feel like I am just going to burst out and tell someone.

[speyedr]

Apr 17, 2013 19:34:43 GMT -5 mofongo said:

I'm like an open book, lol. My friends know, my family knows, my coworkers know. I definitely process by talking. I'm glad to have this place as well:) He sounds like a great friend!

This is me too. My step-mom is my best friend and knows everything...plus we are both nurses so talking to her about this stuff is normal conversation. I don't know how much my IL's know...I know DH has mentioned somethings but just scratched the surface I think. 

[changedname]

We told my inlaws recently just because they kept making comments about how much $$$ we have compared with sil and it was annoying me. Now they know we are poor and have spent $$ on IF treatments, they seem to be a bit nicer towards us. (DH has a weird relationship with them and his sibs, lot of jealousy over $$ etc).

I told my family ages ago but that is it.

[linz]

Our family doesn't know and I'll pry never tell them. My mom would be hurt that I've kept this from her but the main reason is I don't want others knowing our business - and both our moms tend to gab. I have a few close friends and a cousin that knows exactly what we're going through. Some know we are just trying. But to me it's personal and not something everyone needs to know. The only reason a few friends know is so I can vent or because they have gone through it.

[statlerwaldorf]

A lot of people know about my struggles. Most of our family members know along with our close friends. I had an in depth conversation with my teenage brother about IF which is pretty weird, but he was really interested in the whole process.