H's cousin is getting married mid-June. H will be going to the wedding and I will be staying here, since I'll be 37+ weeks PG at the time and it's flying distance. We're not sure what to do with DS, though.
We haven't gotten our invitation yet, so we don't know if he's invited or not. But we need to buy plane tickets, like yesterday so I'm getting antsy about this.
My gut feeling is that he won't be invited, since it starts at 6pm and the location seems black-tie. H and his parents insist that he'll definitely be invited and even if he's not, H should bring him anyway
Theyd have to fly all day Thursday, then the rehearsal dinner is late Friday night. They are hiring buses to take people from the ceremony to the reception and then back to the hotel because there's not much parking at the reception, so H can't leave early with him if he melts down.
To me it just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen and I'd rather keep him here with me. The ILs will pitch a fit when they find out DS isn't going and H doesn't think it will be that bad/ doesn't want to leave super duper pregnant me home alone with a toddler for four days.
We have to buy plane tickets in the next couple of days, invite or not, so would you send DS or not?
I wouldn't send DS. I think it would be a hassle for your H to deal with the logistics of everything. I don't have kids, but I would guess keeping him on his regular schedule will be easier for everyone. I would just think that he would be thrown off and would probably take a day or two to get adjusted when he gets back making things harder on you in the long run. Although, I bet 4 days home alone sounds really nice for you!
Do you have any support for yourself and DS at home for those days? Babysitter, daycare or something so you can enjoy some alone time?
Like I said, I don't have kids, so I could be way off.
He goes to DC on Thursdays, so we'd be alone Friday-Sunday, but we have great neighbors who all have toddlers too and have offered any and all kinds of help.
Post by prettyinpink on Apr 21, 2013 22:58:44 GMT -5
I wouldn't send him. If he melts down and no one can leave with him it's going to be a disaster. I'd just tell IL's that you and DH think this would be easier for everyone and provide a more enjoyable wedding experience for all involved if DS stays home with you.
I wouldn't even approve of H going at that point in pregnancy. Even if the cousin is like a brother to him the cousin should understand he's needed at home more than he's needed as a guest at a wedding.
I get that. Cousin wouldn't be offended if he didn't go, and he would stay home if I asked. But he missed several family events over the last three years, first because we were in Egypt and then because he wasn't allowed to take leave during training. This will be the first time he's seen most of his family since our wedding and I know he misses them. It will also likely be the last big family event for several years, since no one else is close to getting married or dying (I hope).
Post by crimewatcher on Apr 22, 2013 7:59:32 GMT -5
When did you go into labor with DS? What happens if you go into labor while he is at the wedding? Are you prepared for that? That is pretty close to go time.
If you are comfortable with that, I also vote keeping your son with you.
I went into labor with DS at 39 weeks. I'm having a HB, so if I go into labor while he's gone I will call my friend to come get DS. She has a son his age and has agreed to keep him for a day or two, if necessary. H will try to get back as fast as he can. I was in labor with DS for a day and a half, so I'm not expecting anything super fast this time either.
I am surprised your dh is going, and I am surprised everyone is all ok, leave you all alone for four days. Hell I'm surprised your dh thinks this is a good idea. Including you. Shit happens, and when it does, you're the one home alone trying to get help when you've had a stroke/having bleeding/having a baby alone in a house/having serious health issues. I'd tell dh to stay home, and you'll get to the next wedding.
A stroke, really? It's not that serious. If I go into labor, I'll call my midwife to help me and my friend to get DS. It's pretty unlikely that DS2 will come that early and I'm not paranoid enough to keep DH home for the .00001% of any of that other craziness you seem to think is inevitable.
This is really between you and your DH. I know I would not be happy with my H flying that far away with me being so close. Also I would not send LO. That is ridiculous. I also don't believe kids belong at fancy, fancy weddings.
WRT H being gone, I just don't see how it's that much different than him being at work. Anything could happen ten too, and I'd be in the same spot-alone with DS1 and no help until I called for some. But I cant make him stop working JIC.
I'd keep him home, but that's just because if for some reason DS acts up you don't want YH to miss the wedding/reception anyhow. And, if they say no kids - it's no kids, so I wouldn't risk buying a ticket just in case.
Yeah I wouldn't be ok with H going either at this point if he has to deal with a flight to get back home. Totally different than just driving home from work. But that's up to you if you're okay with it, and it sounds like you are.
I also probably wouldn't want to send DS. But I agree that if your H insists on it, let him learn the hard way.
Does he normally fly to work? If not, thats what makes a wedding different.
If your h wants to reconnect with family, let him without hindrance from a toddler, but have him book a ticket that allows a last minute change.
Yes, actually. He's normally in the plane or a sim 3-4 days per week, with his phone off, totally unreachable until he lands and gets through the debrief. I can't rely on him to be home in 20 minutes if I go into labor, so we've already made alternate arrangements.
I appreciate your thoughts on DS and I will definitely keep him home. We hashed out the rest of this amongst ourselves when we got the STD months ago, but I appreciate the concern for my well-being.