Date help!

[blackkitty]

Not really sure how this happened, but I am supposed to meet this guy from match tonight. He had suggested "drinks after work" and somehow that morphed into "drinks at 7pm followed by dinner"

I don't want to get stuck with this guy for 3 hours on a Friday night if he turns out to be a dud.

So how do I handle this? Tell him that I can only do drinks? (I already agreed to the previous plan) Go and see how it goes and if I don't like him somehow get out of dinner? (how do I tactfully do this?)
Help please

[starryfish]

Go and if he is a dud, after drinks (when he suggests dinner). Politely decline his offer and say something like "I am sorry but I dont feel the chemistry, so I dont think dinner will work, thanks"

[stephbfan]

I agree just do the drinks and see how it goes. if you don't end up feeling it just tell him so. Be honest, otherwise he will end up texting you thinking you are into him.

Just out of curiosity, how many first dates have you been this year? I'm sure you have had more dates in a month than I have had in the 4 years since I split with my ex lol.

[Lauren88]

Personally I would let him know that you thought it was just drinks and have plans with friends later on. If the date ends up going great you could tell him your friend texted you and cancelled.
Which guy is this from match? Anyone I happened to pic for you??

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 10:44:42 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

Just out of curiosity, how many first dates have you been this year?

Lol, no idea... if I had to guess I'd say maybe 20?

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 10:50:35 GMT -5 Lauren88 said:

Which guy is this from match? Anyone I happened to pic for you??

This is the "awesome painter" that I was talking about the other day. I haven't had a chance to contact the other guys yet...

[doriswe]

Jun 8, 2012 10:53:12 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 10:50:35 GMT -5 Lauren88 said:

Which guy is this from match? Anyone I happened to pic for you??

This is the "awesome painter" that I was talking about the other day. I haven't had a chance to contact the other guys yet...

The earthy guy I thought would be into drum circles?? Ohhhhhh, I want to hear all about him when you're back!!

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 10:55:08 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 8, 2012 10:53:12 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

This is the "awesome painter" that I was talking about the other day. I haven't had a chance to contact the other guys yet...

The earthy guy I thought would be into drum circles?? Ohhhhhh, I want to hear all about him when you're back!!

Yup! That's the one!

[Bernadine]

Ok, now that I know who it is, you need to get out after drinks. I don't have a good feeling about this guy, lol.

[doriswe]

Jun 8, 2012 11:01:19 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Ok, now that I know who it is, you need to get out after drinks. I don't have a good feeling about this guy, lol.

I agree with this....but maybe I'm wrong!

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 11:11:35 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:01:19 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Ok, now that I know who it is, you need to get out after drinks. I don't have a good feeling about this guy, lol.

I agree with this....but maybe I'm wrong!

Great, now I don't want to even go at all

[stephbfan]

Jun 8, 2012 10:52:21 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 10:44:42 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

Just out of curiosity, how many first dates have you been this year?

Lol, no idea... if I had to guess I'd say maybe 20?

Wow, that is a lot. And I'm shocked that after around 20 guys you have not found a good one.

[formerlyak]

I say tell him you have tentative plans for a late dinner with friends since you thought it was just drinks. Then if drinks go well, "blow off" the dinner with friends and do dinner with him.

[doriswe]

Jun 8, 2012 11:15:39 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:11:35 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I agree with this....but maybe I'm wrong!

Great, now I don't want to even go at all

I think you have to prove if Bully or I was right about him!

[redredwine]

I agree. Or just say "I've had a long week, so not sure I'll be up for a later night" and then you can play the whole "I'm really tired" card after drinks if he sucks.

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 11:16:21 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

Jun 8, 2012 10:52:21 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Lol, no idea... if I had to guess I'd say maybe 20?

Wow, that is a lot. And I'm shocked that after around 20 guys you have not found a good one.

You and me both!
I've met the majority of them online... tonight is probably going to be one of my last online dates. We'll see how dating "in the real world" goes. Maybe I'll have better luck

[doriswe]

Jun 8, 2012 11:20:29 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:16:21 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

Wow, that is a lot. And I'm shocked that after around 20 guys you have not found a good one.

You and me both!
I've met the majority of them online... tonight is probably going to be one of my last online dates. We'll see how dating "in the real world" goes. Maybe I'll have better luck

Curious, what's your plan for meeting in the "real world"?

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 11:23:26 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:20:29 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

You and me both!
I've met the majority of them online... tonight is probably going to be one of my last online dates. We'll see how dating "in the real world" goes. Maybe I'll have better luck

Curious, what's your plan for meeting in the "real world"?

I don't really have a "plan" per se... other than just getting out more and meeting people. Like I met that guy on Sunday night when I went out for a bite, and a girl I work with wants to set me up with her brother's friend. Going to some meet ups this weekend and not really planning on meeting guys just more expanding my social circle. The number one way that couples meet these days is through friends, not online!

[doriswe]

Jun 8, 2012 11:26:16 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:23:26 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Curious, what's your plan for meeting in the "real world"?

I don't really have a "plan" per se... other than just getting out more and meeting people. Like I met that guy on Sunday night when I went out for a bite, and a girl I work with wants to set me up with her brother's friend. Going to some meet ups this weekend and not really planning on meeting guys just more expanding my social circle. The number one way that couples meet these days is through friends, not online!

I apparently need new friends!!

[bullygirl979]

Jun 8, 2012 11:26:16 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:23:26 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Curious, what's your plan for meeting in the "real world"?

I don't really have a "plan" per se... other than just getting out more and meeting people. Like I met that guy on Sunday night when I went out for a bite, and a girl I work with wants to set me up with her brother's friend. Going to some meet ups this weekend and not really planning on meeting guys just more expanding my social circle. The number one way that couples meet these days is through friends, not online!

None of my friends have any single guy friends.

[stephbfan]

Jun 8, 2012 11:26:16 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:23:26 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Curious, what's your plan for meeting in the "real world"?

The number one way that couples meet these days is through friends, not online!

I guess I'm screwed.

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 11:44:27 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:26:16 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I don't really have a "plan" per se... other than just getting out more and meeting people. Like I met that guy on Sunday night when I went out for a bite, and a girl I work with wants to set me up with her brother's friend. Going to some meet ups this weekend and not really planning on meeting guys just more expanding my social circle. The number one way that couples meet these days is through friends, not online!

None of my friends have any single guy friends.

Make new friends?
Or friends of friends?
Or brothers of friends?
Or people break up and die all the time, you never know what the future holds for people that aren't single right now...

[bullygirl979]

Jun 8, 2012 12:17:30 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 11:44:27 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

None of my friends have any single guy friends.

Make new friends?
Or friends of friends?
Or brothers of friends?
Or people break up and die all the time, you never know what the future holds for people that aren't single right now...

Make new friends? Sure I am open to this
Friends of friends? Yup, again all married with babies
Or brothers of friends? HELL TO THE NO. This is asking for trouble in my book.

Yeah, I am not like, pining away because I have been single for all of 5 days. I guess I am to meeting people (i.e. guys) in almost any way possible: friends, co-workers, meet-ups, running group, OR online. I don't discriminate

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 12:26:13 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jun 8, 2012 12:17:30 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Make new friends?
Or friends of friends?
Or brothers of friends?
Or people break up and die all the time, you never know what the future holds for people that aren't single right now...

Or brothers of friends? HELL TO THE NO. This is asking for trouble in my book.

My mom married the brother of one of her closest friends and they have been married for almost 20 years

[bullygirl979]

Jun 8, 2012 12:31:50 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 12:26:13 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Or brothers of friends? HELL TO THE NO. This is asking for trouble in my book.

My mom married the brother of one of her closest friends and they have been married for almost 20 years

It is just too much of a risk in my book. I could never vent or complain to that friend about what a cocksucker her brother was being.

There are 2 girls in my social circle who are besties. One started dating the other one's brother. Girl was PISSED and said "if you ever break up, you are dead to me. That is my brother and he will always come before friends". I don't like to shit eat I eat, if you get my drift.

[cemacmil]

Agreeing here with drinks only, peace out, and if you want to hang later - hang later.

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 12:36:47 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jun 8, 2012 12:31:50 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

My mom married the brother of one of her closest friends and they have been married for almost 20 years

It is just too much of a risk in my book. I could never vent or complain to that friend about what a cocksucker her brother was being.

There are 2 girls in my social circle who are besties. One started dating the other one's brother. Girl was PISSED and said "if you ever break up, you are dead to me. That is my brother and he will always come before friends". I don't like to shit eat I eat, if you get my drift.

I can't imagine being pissed at a friend for dating my brother. That's just weird and really makes no sense. If someone is my friend it is because I think they are awesome. I think my brother is awesome. Why wouldn't I want my brother to date someone awesome?

[bullygirl979]

Jun 8, 2012 12:39:07 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Jun 8, 2012 12:36:47 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

It is just too much of a risk in my book. I could never vent or complain to that friend about what a cocksucker her brother was being.

There are 2 girls in my social circle who are besties. One started dating the other one's brother. Girl was PISSED and said "if you ever break up, you are dead to me. That is my brother and he will always come before friends". I don't like to shit eat I eat, if you get my drift.

I can't imagine being pissed at a friend for dating my brother. That's just weird and really makes no sense. If someone is my friend it is because I think they are awesome. I think my brother is awesome. Why wouldn't I want my brother to date someone awesome?

But what if your brother does something that isn't so awesome? Or your friend? Whose side do you take?

[blackkitty]

Jun 8, 2012 12:41:13 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jun 8, 2012 12:39:07 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I can't imagine being pissed at a friend for dating my brother. That's just weird and really makes no sense. If someone is my friend it is because I think they are awesome. I think my brother is awesome. Why wouldn't I want my brother to date someone awesome?

But what if your brother does something that isn't so awesome? Or your friend? Whose side do you take?

You don't take sides... We're all adults. That's the chance THEY take in getting into a relationship. It doesn't concern me.