S/O what about weird shit YOU did as a kid?

[cjeanette]

I remember around 4 being very resentful of my mother for not naming me Melissa. I would bring it up in arguements with her and everything.

[Brie]

When I was in second grade I told everyone I wanted to be a gorilla when I grew up. When people were like, "Brie, you can't be a gorilla, you're a human," I was like "I'LL SHOW YOU! I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO!"

Fail.

[ryry]

I had imaginary friends, which I guess is fairly common. But they were named Hammer, Nails, Tooth, and Michael. I'm not sure why. I remember having birthday parties for them and talking to them all the time (I was an only child until I was 4.5 and was almost never around other kids until I started kindergarten).

[rootbeerfloat]

LOL at douchebags.

When I was 9 or so, I had an upset stomach and told my parents I needed Midol.

[Willis Jackson]

I bragged to my friends in kindergarten that my dad could fit AN ENTIRE POTATO CHIP in his mouth at once.


I also used to sneak bites of my dog's (dry) food. I still remember that taste. It wasn't horrible. Very bland.

[pugz]

I really really wanted an english bulldog as a kid. My mom kept a running grocery list on the fridge an I would always write "english bulldog puppy" on it.

[Lucille Bluth]

I told my preschool teachers that my Daddy packed up all of his things and went away. Later they asked my Mom if they were having problems since I told them this and she said, "Um, no, he just went away on a business trip."

swizz - my husband is foreign and we were visiting his parents house. We were both in the bathroom and he pointed up at a loofa and said it was his mom's and then said, "What is this thing? Is it a douche bag?" I could not stop laughing and told him no woman would ever put that near her lady bits.

He also told me the bidet was to wash your feet. Riight.

[Deleted]

I was obsessed with hats. Like my 3rd or 4th word was "hat", I made my parents put a hat on my head whenever we left the house, if I saw a hat in a store, I had to have it.

One of my next words was "basy" for kielbasy. The next door neighbor used to walk me to the Polish meat store around the corner for snacks. There are a ton of pictures of me as a toddler posed with a bottle of my dad's beer and a ring of kielbasy almost as tall as I was.

I was in kindergarten when my mom turned 40, and when she did so, she told me that women don't age past 40, when they are about to hit 40, they start going backwards. I told my entire class about this, and everyone was fascinated.

[halfpint]

@mrsspunky my dad told me a similar story as a kid - he said women stopped having birthdays when they turned 39. I was convinced that meant my mom would die when I was 11.

[halfpint]

When I was maybe 8 or 9, we lived in a very open floor plan house. The stairs up to the second floor had open slats and nothing underneath of them. My parents had friends over, and right before bed, I decided it would be funny to stick my head through two of the steps from underneath and wave hello to everyone.

Well, my melon slipped in easily, but something happened to prevent it from slipping OUT. I was stuck, my head on one side, and my nightshirt clad body on the other. First my parents tried to help me ease it out, and when it didn't work, I got panicky and started to cry. Then they decided to grease the sides of my head with butter. They slathered my ears and hair with a tub of Country Crock. Still nothing. Then my dad left the room, and came back in with his hand saw. He looked at me and said, "Well, I guess we'll just have to cut it off".

My eyes got big, and I started hysterically screaming, covered in margarine, tears and snot dripping down my face, trapped in between two stairs. I was sure he meant he was going to cut off my head, not the step.

[catbus]

What's coming to mind are ways in which I made my mom feel uncomfortable: 

When I was around four, I misunderstood the word "freeway" as "three-way." Even after being corrected by my mom, I thought it was funnier to call freeways "three-ways," so I'd ask her if we were going to "get on the three-way" to go where we needed to go. 

Around age 9, I became obsessed with Mariah Carey. I had all her tapes. I was at the grocery store with my mom and saw a magazine with Mariah Carey on the cover and really wanted to get it. My mom was a little apprehensive about buying it, but I didn't understand why, and she wouldn't really say why. Yeah, the magazine was "Ebony." I can see now how that would be a little awkward. 

[Lucille Bluth]

Apr 23, 2013 14:43:36 GMT -5 halfpint said:

When I was maybe 8 or 9, we lived in a very open floor plan house. The stairs up to the second floor had open slats and nothing underneath of them. My parents had friends over, and right before bed, I decided it would be funny to stick my head through two of the steps from underneath and wave hello to everyone.

Well, my melon slipped in easily, but something happened to prevent it from slipping OUT. I was stuck, my head on one side, and my nightshirt clad body on the other. First my parents tried to help me ease it out, and when it didn't work, I got panicky and started to cry. Then they decided to grease the sides of my head with butter. They slathered my ears and hair with a tub of Country Crock. Still nothing. Then my dad left the room, and came back in with his hand saw. He looked at me and said, "Well, I guess we'll just have to cut it off".

My eyes got big, and I started hysterically screaming, covered in margarine, tears and snot dripping down my face, trapped in between two stairs. I was sure he meant he was going to cut off my head, not the step.

Is your name Stephanie Judith Tanner? Because if it's not the Full House producers owe you a lot of money. 

[havarti]

I emphatically believed that the phrase was "farmers on cheese" and that anyone who called it "Parmesan cheese" was flat out WRONG! I firmly believed this until I learned to read. Also, I refused to learn how to read until I started kindergarten so I could learn it the right way from a real teacher. I didn't want my brother and sister screwing that up.

[halfpint]

Apr 23, 2013 14:52:20 GMT -5 Lucille Bluth said:

Apr 23, 2013 14:43:36 GMT -5 halfpint said:

When I was maybe 8 or 9, we lived in a very open floor plan house. The stairs up to the second floor had open slats and nothing underneath of them. My parents had friends over, and right before bed, I decided it would be funny to stick my head through two of the steps from underneath and wave hello to everyone.

Well, my melon slipped in easily, but something happened to prevent it from slipping OUT. I was stuck, my head on one side, and my nightshirt clad body on the other. First my parents tried to help me ease it out, and when it didn't work, I got panicky and started to cry. Then they decided to grease the sides of my head with butter. They slathered my ears and hair with a tub of Country Crock. Still nothing. Then my dad left the room, and came back in with his hand saw. He looked at me and said, "Well, I guess we'll just have to cut it off".

My eyes got big, and I started hysterically screaming, covered in margarine, tears and snot dripping down my face, trapped in between two stairs. I was sure he meant he was going to cut off my head, not the step.

Is your name Stephanie Judith Tanner? Because if it's not the Full House producers owe you a lot of money. 

I Googled.  

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1kWrXOarRI

Totally different scenario, minus the tub of butter.

[turtletop90]

My family all went to our favorite burger place. I always thought the hamburger buns were really good.

I was a shy kid, but while we were in line I decided I was going to tell them how much I liked them. We got to the counter and I said, in my best "confident" voice, "I love your buns!"

Everyone in the whole place laughed. I was mortified.

[miniroller]

I'm really glad you set us straight Halfpint. (& really embarrassed that I just watched ((& enjoyed!! )) that entire thing.) Thank you.

[LauraMoser]

I was very picky about my socks. I still hear stories from my parents about me throwing a fit because my socks weren't just right. I hated socks with the seams across the tips of toes, I had to have the seams across the tops of my toes instead. And god forbid if the seam wasn't just right before putting my shoes on. Or if my socks started slipping down into my shoes at all. I'm told I would scream and refuse to leave the house if my socks weren't perfect.

I will admit that I am still almost that picky with my socks. I still can't wear socks that have seams across the tips of the toes. I was worried my kids would end up like me in this regard, but so far they're not nearly as picky, lol.

[scribellesam]

There is not enough time in the world to type out all the weird shit I did as a kid, so I will limit myself to a few.

I pretended to be a puppy named Playful for quite some time as a young child - my parents humored me and even served my food in a dish on the floor sometimes.

I also had quite extensive and elaborate imaginary pets (never people), including an ostrich named Thomas Bimboldio who lived in the backyard.

In elementary school, my BFF at the time and I would spend recess making up deep and meaningful "quotes" we wanted to be remembered by once we were dead. An example: "A hundred parrots can lift a dog if they try hard enough."

[dcn]

I pretended to be a motorcycle, and hung out under the kitchen table aka my garage making vroom vroom noises. When someone walked into the kitchen I'd peel out of there and skid around the room and then return to my garage to rest. I used to scare the crap out of my family!

[loskadoodle]

I cut of my widows peak. Literally just took scissors and cut it off. That was pretty growing back in!

[hilwithonelary]

Apr 23, 2013 17:26:35 GMT -5 LauraMoser said:

I was very picky about my socks. I still hear stories from my parents about me throwing a fit because my socks weren't just right. I hated socks with the seams across the tips of toes, I had to have the seams across the tops of my toes instead. And god forbid if the seam wasn't just right before putting my shoes on. Or if my socks started slipping down into my shoes at all. I'm told I would scream and refuse to leave the house if my socks weren't perfect.

I will admit that I am still almost that picky with my socks. I still can't wear socks that have seams across the tips of the toes. I was worried my kids would end up like me in this regard, but so far they're not nearly as picky, lol.

I was the same way with socks. My mom had to make a rule that I only had three chances to put my shoes on in the morning. After that, they stayed on no matter what.

I also was that way with clothes in general. I hated tags and non elastic waists. I didn't wear jeans until seventh grade. There was a good period of time where my wardrobe consisted of Hanes t shirts and shorts in a variety of solid colors.

[Deleted]

I don't know about stuff when I was real little except for sleepwalking. One time I got out of the house in the middle of the night and walked like ten houses down before my parent's friends spotted me and called my parents frantically saying they found me (my parents were asleep and unaware I was missing). After that I got a lock on my door. One time after that I slept walked and beat the crap out of my sister's friend who was sleeping in my bed.

Once I counted every baby picture of my older sister and compared it to the number of baby pictures of me and accused my mom of not loving me.

I wore black for most of third grade because Corey Haim did.

I could go on with the early childhood years. I was very weird.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2013 20:17:08 GMT -5 loskadoodle said:

I cut of my widows peak. Literally just took scissors and cut it off. That was pretty growing back in!

Oh I shaved the sides of both my lips off when I was four and we were on vacation. :-#

[bunch]

Anytime I played pretend, I had to be named Manny or Toto. I have no idea why. I didn't even like the names and remember arguing with friends over who would be which.

[cjeanette]

Apr 23, 2013 17:26:35 GMT -5 LauraMoser said:

I was very picky about my socks. I still hear stories from my parents about me throwing a fit because my socks weren't just right. I hated socks with the seams across the tips of toes, I had to have the seams across the tops of my toes instead. And god forbid if the seam wasn't just right before putting my shoes on. Or if my socks started slipping down into my shoes at all. I'm told I would scream and refuse to leave the house if my socks weren't perfect.

I will admit that I am still almost that picky with my socks. I still can't wear socks that have seams across the tips of the toes. I was worried my kids would end up like me in this regard, but so far they're not nearly as picky, lol.

Eleanor is that you?

Every morning we go through this. I am so ready for sandal weather. My little OCD baby.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards

[whosthatgirl]

I would jump from bar stools onto the fireplace. No clue why. I would frequently smack my head on the stone surround and had something like 15 black eyes by the time I was 4.

A friend and I made a parachute out of butcher paper and yarn. We had the wherewithal to test it first with a tiny Lego guy, lol. I then used it to jump off our one story house. It did not work.

I used to fake stuffy noses to get orange Triaminic. Man that stuff was good.

I'm not surprised that my Mom was very open about the fact that, had I been her first child, I would have been her only child.

[loskadoodle]

Omg I used to LOVE orange triaminic!

[ellipses84]

I would purposefully ride my riding toys down the stairs when I was a toddler.

I begged to be carried around until I was 5, and my poor mom would oblige me a lot of the time.

My sister and I would dare each other to eat cat and dog food, so yeah, I ate it more than once and remember how it tastes.

I loved suspenders and begged for them, so when my grandma finally bought me pink suspenders I wore them all the time.

I was a mini hoarder and have lots of toddler pics of me holding and armful of little toys and my DS TOTALLY does this now.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2013 20:44:30 GMT -5 whosthatgirl said:

I would jump from bar stools onto the fireplace. No clue why. I would frequently smack my head on the stone surround and had something like 15 black eyes by the time I was 4.

A friend and I made a parachute out of butcher paper and yarn. We had the wherewithal to test it first with a tiny Lego guy, lol. I then used it to jump off our one story house. It did not work.

I used to fake stuffy noses to get orange Triaminic. Man that stuff was good.

I'm not surprised that my Mom was very open about the fact that, had I been her first child, I would have been her only child.

OMG man.  I'm freaked now.

[scribellesam]

Apr 23, 2013 20:04:33 GMT -5 @stalkermom said:

Apr 23, 2013 17:42:14 GMT -5 scribellesam said:

There is not enough time in the world to type out all the weird shit I did as a kid, so I will limit myself to a few.

I pretended to be a puppy named Playful for quite some time as a young child - my parents humored me and even served my food in a dish on the floor sometimes.

I also had quite extensive and elaborate imaginary pets (never people), including an ostrich named Thomas Bimboldio who lived in the backyard.

In elementary school, my BFF at the time and I would spend recess making up deep and meaningful "quotes" we wanted to be remembered by once we were dead. An example: "A hundred parrots can lift a dog if they try hard enough."

You were a hilariously awesome kid.....you still are pretty awesome!   I think your (our) baby boy will be hilariously unique, too....

My husband hopes you are wrong, I think, Mom