I think we just weaned! :(

[TrudyCampbell]

Well, I'm sobbing as I write this. 

As you know I've been struggling with breastfeeding ever since my supply dropped due to my hormonal roller coaster. My supply was always very temperamental but the pregnant/not pregnant fiasco really did me in (which is pretty depressing). We've gotten down to one feeding a day and we did the first morning feeding because that's when she is the hungriest and least likely to reject the breast. She has barely been nursing during that feeding... maybe 2 or 3 minutes total, but we kept up with it. 

Today I just forgot to do it. I cannot believe after doing it every single day that I just forgot! She woke up and I fed her breakfast and that was that. I didn't even realize until I just put her down for her morning nap and she happily drank a huge sippy cup of cows milk and for some reason it made me remember that I never breastfed her. 

I don't think we're going to go back. She never initiates nursing so I don't think she will "ask" me for it. I'm really, really sad but I think this was inevitable. I had just recently decided to BF past age 1 and now I didn't even make it until a year  . 

I really wanted to have a "last feeding" where I knew it was the last one and I could savor every moment and I didn't have that. I know I could still nurse her when she wakes up but I think I'm just done. Maybe it was better not to know it was the last time. 


I'd also like to make a small shout out to the nipple shield which I used atleast once a day and for 99% of our feedings. Thanks, little buddy, you really helped us out! 

[unclejesse]

Just think about how long you did it! That is a huge feat. Hugsssss

[Deleted]

*big old hugs* You are awesome for making it 99% of a year (yes, I am horrible at math) but you are nonetheless amazing and I know I would be a wreck too in that situation. Chocolate?

[ruby412]

I'm sorry that you're sad, lady.

You really did do an amazing job making it this far! You should be so proud of yourself for that and know that hormonal changes are out of your control.

I will second your shoutout to the nipple shield. That thing was a saving grace for our first few months!

[mamasaurus]

It's so close to her birthday. You can go ahead and round up to one. (hug)

[rjamz]

Awwww, I'm sorry. You made it so far, you should be so proud! Big hugs

[fusion]

(((((hugs))))) you are an amazing mom. Don't let this define yourself. You made it in my eyes!

[cat19]

We all say you made it a year, so it's true. (Hugs)

[mrsjaymay]

Apr 24, 2013 9:48:30 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

(hug)

You are so close to a year, seriously. Don't focus on the exact date.

This! Congrats on making it to 1 year!! You should be really proud of yourself.

And lol at the nip shield shout out :-)

[kcsp910]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know how much it sucks to end on terms that aren't your own and not exactly what you had planned on. Hang in there and be so proud of yourself for making it the year! Hugs to you.

[ashleydl83]

Big huge hugs. You almost made it to a year, and even though it isn't what you wanted that's still pretty amazing and more than some people do/are able to do. I've been there and it sucks and there's probably not a lot that is going to make you feel better. ((hugs))

[Dorothy Zbornak]

I'm sorry you're sad, Trudy. To tell you the truth, you would have been sad whenever it happened. H weaned at 2 and I was sad. TWO (As in, I had fucking friends telling me that I really oughta wean and shit). What's important is that V is happy with it and it was on her terms. She still needs you in a billion other ways.

And I put that BB has one tooth on his birthday board. Now the little asshole has two. And I can't change the board now.

[Faevantastic]

Awww, V's growing up! You should def be proud that you made it one year.

[lauranicole91]

Hugs! You did a great job! I think not knowing it was the last session would be better than knowing. If I knew it was the last I would ugly cry so hard.

Try to focus on the the positive points that weaning will create.

[skiesthelimit]

I'm sorry Trudy. I know how emotional BFing can be. I understand why you are sad. Making it this long is such a great accomplishment. You did so good and are an excellent mother. Hugs.

[rubber pants]

Huge hugs! Its probably better that you didnt know when the last feeding would be.

You should be SO PROUD of yourself for making it SO FAR!

[eav2c]

Huge hugs.

Not going to lie, reading this made me tear up. You made it just a few days shy of a year, don't underestimate yourself or how much you've given to V! You are one hell of an amazing mother and its okay to be sad and mourn. Let it all out but don't forget to pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself!!!

[creamsiclechica]

You are such an amazing mom, A. An inspiration to ALL of us. Not just for this, but for everything. You put your heart, soul, and whole life into Violet. That's the definition of an incredible and dedicated mother.
You have so, so much to be emotional about recently, and I can't imagine this has been easy, even without the compounding hormones and emotions. We're all so proud of you, and if you want to go ahead and cry here, please do it.

Sending all my love to you today and all the hard days that follow.

[claralou]

This made me tear up too. Trudy, you made it a year, and that's a BIG deal. And I agree with Dorothy - the fact that this happened on V's terms is really the most important thing to remember. I've always hoped that I will know when the "last" feeding will be too, but I'm rethinking that now. Be proud of yourself, mama. You did an amazing job for her.

And I'll throw in a big AMEN on the nipple shield shout-out! Hugs.

[laurack]

ugh I am teary reading this.

It's inevitable that this would and will happen to all of us and it will be sad no matter when it happens.

In a way it probably was best to not know it was your last... because then your last feeding with her would have been sad and tearful.

Sorry mama, I am so sad for you but also happy for you because now it is "over" and there is no more uncertainty and you can move forward. You TOTALLY made it a year silly. And of course those boobies will be feeding another youngun' in the near future, I just know it.

(hug)

[charlielove]

I'm glad it happened on V's terms for you and her both. She still needs you in so many ways! Take it easy on yourself, you are doing a great job being V's mama, BFing or not.

[formerlyllizzyb]

Great job mama!

[thedahliharpa]

Hugs Trudy! It can definitely be a sob worthy experience at first. It will get better and you will look back at your nursing adventure with fond memories.

[dojo]

Aww chin up, you were both amazing! This reminds me of that article about parenthood - we remember and document all the firsts but the lasts just slip through our hands.

[careyalis]

Big hugs lady! Go drink a big glass of wine.

[carawestt]

Hugs Trudy! You did such an amazing job nursing this long, you should be damn proud of yourself! I'm glad it was on V's terms, even though its hard on you. We're all rounding up for you and saying you made it a year!

[christidee]

I'm sorry. I agree with Tamb. Don't focus in the date. You are so close to a year that it counts as a year. You did a great job! If you want, try again tomorrow morning if you want to.

[SteelCity44]

I'm sorry. You've done an amazing job though!

[spaghetticat]

I'm sorry you're sad. I completely understand that. I'm glad V seems to be handling it well though. At least weaning went easy on her and wasn't hard on both of you at a point where you were forced to wean or something. You did a great job!

[helicase]

(hug) It's A-ok to feel sad, but know that you did such a great job nursing for a year.  Congrats for being an amazing momma.