I've changed my opinion on books for baby showers

[TrudyCampbell]

Someone tag rxbeth because we are now the same in every way.

I thought I liked when people asked for books at baby showers because I had a library themed shower and everyone brought a book. BUT THEN I realized at my shower the invite just requested you bring a book as your gift. And it was library themed. My SILs shower asks for a book instead of a card and I now get the rudeness of it.

Was my shower rude, too? We did it because it was a friends only shower and we only wanted ppl to spend a small amt on a book and nothing else.

Also, I only just noticed this line on her invite so she is getting just a card and no book.

[AndyCohen]

I don't think asking for books as the gift was rude since it was library themed. However, I have mixed feelings on the request for books instead of cards. On one hand I think most cards are a waste of paper, especially the ones that don't come from the heart which I think baby shower cards fall into. On the other hand, decent books cost much more than a card.

[AndyCohen]

Also, I work in publishing so I almost always fall on the side of books.

[The Foozzler]

I always give a book in place of a card, but I think it is rude to be told that you have to. Unless that is the norm in your circle. For example, at work, we always give books for the showers. We are teachers,it makes sense.

[fusion]

No, I think asking for one in lieu of a card is gift grabby, but to give ideas on the gift itself is not. For Anna's birthday party I did a facebook group and just put "Anna will be in size 18 mo for the summer!" I didn't specifically say I wanted clothes, but then that is what she got (which is what I wanted, lol). If someone put they wanted a book and gift, then they would just get a book from me.

[muppetinma]

I have thrown and received showers, but I'm generally not a fan of them to begin with. So, it goes without saying that I think specifying books or gifts or any of that is just NMS. BUT, I'm not offended by Trudy's situation. Books as the only gifts are okay. They're probably cheaper than what they'd get you otherwise, and when you live in a tiny place, who wants more stuff they have to store?

[imimahoney]

My shower asked for books but didn't say anything about in lieu of cards. It was probably rude but my MIL never asked if I wanted them. Oh well.

[lolaburns]

I think your shower is a completely different situation. You had a library theme and offered the idea if books as the gift.

I think asking for a book instead of a CARD is tacky. What if the person wasn't getting a card and was going to just put a tag on the gift. Or if it was ordered off the registry, gift wrapped and shipped... You have to ship a book too?

[thedahliharpa]

Etiquette For Dummies comes in board book form, yes?

[ashleydl83]

Apr 27, 2013 9:02:36 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Etiquette For Dummies comes in board book form, yes?

If it doesn't, it should.

[angiekay84]

That has been the norm for most of the baby showers I have attended (mine included). If it makes it better, the request was made in poetry form and was a suggestion? Plus the poetry included the thought how we can be reminded of you even when you're not there. It was sweet.

I personally am OK with it because a nice card is about 2 or 3 dollars and you can get a classic board book or Doctor Seuss book at Target for 5 dollars.

[eav2c]

Sounds like yours was different. Books as cards are the most irritating thing to me. Also, what happens when people buy the same book and they are written in? Telling guests to give another gift in addition to a gift is tacky.

[ruby412]

Apr 27, 2013 8:21:29 GMT -5 AndyCohen said:

I don't think asking for books as the gift was rude since it was library themed. However, I have mixed feelings on the request for books instead of cards. On one hand I think most cards are a waste of paper, especially the ones that don't come from the heart which I think baby shower cards fall into. On the other hand, decent books cost much more than a card.

Agree with this completely! Cards just get thrown away but asking people to spend more on a book isn't right either.

[Deleted]

I don't usually get cards for gifts, or if I do it's from a generic 10 pack and I write what I want in it. So, I think it's kind of rude to say books instead of cards. I would be all for someone saying books only please as the gift though.

[tuck]

Using books as cards is tacky as hell. Using books as gifts is awesome. I know most cards just get thrown away, so I hate spending more than $1 on them. I also love children's lit, so if I'm going to get someone a book, it probably won't be Go Dog, Go. I don't like being told I have to spend 15 times more than I wanted to.

[Deleted]

Eh, I like giving books as cards. That was how one of my showers was--guests were given a nameplate so multiple books weren't an issue-- and I love telling Thad who loves him when we read the book. I hate cards for showers. I guess the two dollar difference between card and book just doesn't mean that much to me. Or, I subtract it from my gift price.

[angiekay84]

Apr 27, 2013 11:00:49 GMT -5 @thadsrad said:

Eh, I like giving books as cards. That was how one of my showers was--guests were given a nameplate so multiple books weren't an issue-- and I love telling Thad who loves him when we read the book. I hate cards for showers. I guess the two dollar difference between card and book just doesn't mean that much to me. Or, I subtract it from my gift price.

Great idea for those with a budget in mind!  

[monkeybabe]

Yeah, I fall into the camp of books as gift and books instead of cards being two very different things. If I buy a card at all, I get the 99 cent ones, because I think cards are a waste. When I buy books, I try to find nice ones, so a book replacing a card is a big difference in price for me.

[shevacc]

A friend had a book shower and it was so fun! I loved picking out the books and we talked about our favorites as they were opened. I don't like being told I have to get two gifts. If I chose to give a book as card and it was my idea, fine. I get that showers are a gift giving occasion but would also be upset to be told how much to spend.

[mrsjaymay]

It's pretty norm in my circle to ask for books in lieu of cards. I don't have a problem with it because shower cards are a waste. I also think that if people don't want to do the book thing (or forget), then they don't and no one really notices or cares. I include the book cost in the price of my gift.

[Regina Philange]

I had a book instead of a card shower. I didn't know about it beforehand. I was wondering why I was getting so many books!

[dojo]

Apr 27, 2013 19:22:04 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

I am not a fan of cards at all so it would not bother me in the slightest if someone put this on their invite to me. I would take it as it says, please don't buy a card but should you feel the need, please purchase a book instead. It doesn't mean you HAVE to purchase a book, just not a card. I seriously find cards to be a waste of paper and I don't really buy the whole, "someone put so much time and thought" into a card. Most people I know, just like many if you stated here, buy a quick 99 cent card and likely scribble some happy birthday jabber on it. Granted, some people do put time and effort into their cards and if it means that much to you, by all means then, buy a card. I would just rather see a book you may have bought and think of you.

Just my two cents.

Yes it's optional, but you could also say a shower gift in general is optional, but the reality for most people is that they fear being judged or looking like an ass for not participating in what is being suggested. It's optional, but it isn't. Kwim?

[sunshineluv]

I went to a shower today that had this request, the in lieu of cards way. I don't mind, or think it is rude. I like the idea of building up someone's library. Showers in and of themselves are gift grabby, registries too. If I am friends with the person I dont mind the gift asking part of it.

[rxbeth]

Just getting to this now. lol. I'm glad you're coming over to the dark side.