WWMLD? Begging family

[Pixiehollow]

I live in a pretty nice middle/upper middle class neighborhood. Typical soccer mom suburbia. I just saw something that I have never seen in my hood. There was a husband begging with a hand written sign. It said I have a disability, have 2 kids, need work/food. It did not mention money. I stopped and gave them all of the cash that I had. I just couldn't stand to see this beautiful child stare up at me when I cold go home to my beautiful warm comfortable house with mine. I tried to ask a few questions, but the husband said he only spoke very little English. I assume that they speak Spanish, which my mom does fluently. I am considering calling her and asking her to come with me to translate to talk to the, about if they need housing or if I can go and buy some groceries for them. My GF happened to drive by and saw me give t hem money and she texted me and made kind of a snide comment. Like don't support them bc this will encourage it more. I just can't get the look of that child's face from my mind. 

Wwmld? I'm thinking of going back a little later to see if they are there and offer to get them dinner somewhere. 

[Pixiehollow]

I'm not asking what would you do regarding the friend. I want to help this family... I just don't know what to do, where to start.

[anlo]

I have given money a couple of times. I know that it may be spent on something besides food or housing, but I just feel like if I have something to give then at least I've tried to help. I'm sure that sounds naive. That said, if I were you, I don't know that I would give any more than you already have.

[livinitup]

Does you community have anti-panhandling laws? I doubt the police are going to allow him to stay in that spot, especially with that child.

I know how to refer men, women and women with children into our community's shelter system. I also know where, in our local city, anyone can get 2 hot meals a day at no cost. Many families bring children. I can also get my hands on an updated food pantry list. I think you'll feel better if you have this knowledge for the next time you see people in distress.

And "helping" often starts with knowing what they want help with. That means a conversation and trusting relationship.

[sake]

i live in a nice part of town where this kind of thing doesn't happen often either. Last year, I saw a guy with a sign and his dog standing by the road asking for anything people could give. I drove to the grocery, bought bread, peanut butter, jelly, beef jerkey,fruit and dog food. I then drove back and gave it all to him. I felt better b/c I wasnt giving him money that he might spend on drugs or something, and I at least I was helping him out. He cried when I gave all the stuff to him, so I felt like he actually probably did need help.

I would get your mom to translate, and also contact local agencies that help people in need and ask your mom to inform him of these agencies.

[Deleted]

My daily commute is in an urban environment, so my perspective is slightly different, but usually I assume that the last thing a panhandler really needs is cash. If someone seems genuinely wanting for a handup, I'm happy to share information about local resources (I work at a housing agency and have a lot of leads towards sufficiency orgs). But usually folks on the street asking for funds are in the chronically homeless category, and those circles overlap heavily with those who suffer from substance abuse. Its sad, but its the reality for many of my clients.

[Deleted]

He was begging with his kids there?

Oh man.

I would look up places that could help them. Family services. Then pass that information along.

[Pixiehollow]

I really don't think he was a con man.. I just got a feeling from him that he was genuine. I consider myself street smart and have lived in urban settings and abroad. It was not in my neighborhood... It was in my community near a shopping plaza. It was drizzling and the mom and kids were huddling on the curb while he stood with his sign. When I stopped to give them cash, the mom ran to a local food place and got only the children food with my money. It just really effected me bc I had my 3 year old with me and she was concerned ab the kids and asked why I was stopping. We passed them again on our way out and she asked me to go home and get all of our money and return to give it to them. I did see a few other people stop. Their sign did not mention money, just will "work for food" sort of message. I realize that a con man would use their kids in a way to exploit the for money. I did not get that vibe. He seemed humble and appreciative and his wife looked so downtrodden.

[Pixiehollow]

Sake, I was thinking of doing the same thing. Buying some general groceries and giving them to them. my daughter wanted to buy them subway for lunch and play doh for the girls.

[karmasabiotch]

I give money. I know that there is always a chance that it won't be used appropriately but I'm ok with that. If I don't give money I feel bad about myself so it becomes more about me and less about them. It's a cycle. I give for selfish reasons I guess.

[snickers]

I adore your big heart, but I would get in contact with the police so they can figure it out. If he is for real, then they will be able to direct him to help that is more permanent, especially if he has children. If he is a con artist, they will figure that out too.