S/O oldest child expectations

[Deleted]

Are you more "successful" than your younger siblings?

[nursewife]

Yes, I've graduated school to become a nurse, have held down the same great job for 4 years. My sister unfortunately hasn't finished school because she thinks its a waste of time. She works at a grocery store and fish and chips restaurant, and lives in a sketchy part of town. I wish she could get her shit together so she could be part of my twins life.

[goaskalice]

I am. I actually was semi joking with my mom the other day about her leaving me with my sister after they pass. We obviously have a sick sense of humor. But, in all honesty, I'm just more level headed and she has been so coddled that the real world doesn't exist for her yet.

[Deleted]

My mom considers me the most successful and "got her shit together" out of all her kids so far.

[ErinExpat]

My sister's still in college, but about to graduate. She's right where I was at that age. I think we're pretty similar. She has a good head on her shoulders.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'm the youngest, but we're both pretty high achieving. H and his younger brother too.

[pooh8402]

not really. I was the most "driven" and knew what I wanted (I knew I wanted to be in medicine somehow, working with new moms/babies), but had a hard time making that happen. it took 8 years of school and student loans to make it happen, and working 2 crappy jobs before I landed my current awesome job, but I made it happen.

both of my sisters graduated early and got jobs immediately. the baby barely managed to stay in school at first (lots of Ds and Fs) but she grew up and finally started making good grades. she has a well-paying job, much better than mine, but I don't know exactly where it's going to lead (timekeeper for an oil&gas company) or if there is any upward mobility. she has a job, not a career. the middle sister has a career (PE teacher) but she doesn't like it even though she spent her whole life working towards PE and coaching. now she wants to be SAHM and run a dog grooming business (rolling eyes).

[ElizabethBennet]

No I'm not. We've all chosen very different paths but no one is really unsuccessful.

To be fair my sis is only 21 so I can't really compare her and I. My brother is still in school working on his credential and working full time. I'm a SAHM (which I'm not knocking) with almost no education and very little job experience.

My siblings are both very responsible, put together people as well.

[Deleted]

Yes.

[underwaterrhymes]

My younger sister is significantly smarter than I am, has an MBA from Johns Hopkins university, has held a 6 -figure job on a few occasions, and left that life to become a dive master in the Galapagos with her husband and little girl.

I've had my own set of adventures and although I've never made near the amount of money she has, I've built a solid career in the non profit sector.

I would say we are equally successful, just in different ways. Most importantly, we are both very happy. I'm thrilled for her because she is wayyyyyyyy happier being a "beach bum" than she ever was with her BMW and pricey condo plus we have a fun place to visit.

[Deleted]

Not at all.

My brother is smarter, better looking, more athletic, funnier, and richer. He is better at everything.

[flex]

May 1, 2013 0:09:37 GMT -5 @otterama said:

My mom considers me the most successful and "got her shit together" out of all her kids so far.

This is me.  I'm the oldest of three girls.  My middle sister, who is a whackadoo, is not doing well health-wise; my little sister is 43, and it seems she may be getting her shit together, but the jury's still out on that.  I'm like a breath of fresh air for my mom.  lol

[flex]

May 1, 2013 2:13:55 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Not at all.

My brother is smarter, better looking, more athletic, funnier, and richer. He is better at everything.

Speaking of awesome men, how's Alcide doing these days?

[angelaa73]

Yes but its not really hard to beat a meth addict and a last of the mohicans Borders book slinger turned lead teller at Chase.

sent from my posse's on broadway

[karmasabiotch]

I'm the youngest and my sister had always been better than me in my families eyes. We make jokes about it now. I didn't realize it until we were much older. Despite her not having a job, a history of rx pools and alcohol use and abuse, and her being sort of cold, I still look up to her and think she's amazing.

[CurlyQ284]

My brother is 15 months older but he was kind of treated as the younger kid. He needed more help growing up, needed help with homework, lots of reminders etc. I was on the honor roll every time and was kind of on my own. Now I'm more independent than he is. We both make about the same and have good jobs but he lived with my parents until he moved in with SIL. He still needs a lot of help with responsibilities.

[blueballoon]

Depends on what the measure of successful is. If it means having some nice sounding/high paying career then no, neither one of us is successful.

[rex]

Yes.

[aprilsails]

My younger sister is 22 and she is following the exact same path that I have in my life. So I don't see much of a difference there. My brother, who's in the middle, is a recovering addict so my parents expectations for him are obviously very different.

[Deleted]

Yes, but my brother and sister are so young it's kind of ridiculous for me to say. They're both still in college, but my sis will graduate on the 10th (yay).

[Marle]

Yes. In the sense of having finished school and having a stable job and a family.
This is true for my DH too who is the oldest of 7. Only one of the other siblings (the only girl) is solid competition and she is really the oldest of his father's second marriage.

[mcfelix]

Yes - I'm the oldest and have always been more "together" than my younger brother. However he is successful too, and he has actually surprised me with his life. He has a very good job, is working on his MBA, and has a serious girlfriend (who is wonderful) that we think he will ultimately marry. But I'm still the more successful one - advanced in my career very early, make more money, etc. However by no means is my little bro a slouch and I know my parents are extremely proud of us both.

Also my husband is the oldest and is more successful than his sister but she is doing just fine too. With both DH and I, we have always been much more driven and self motivated than our younger sibs.

[circa1978]

On paper. My H is very successful, so we have a lovely house in a very nice area and are financially comfortable. We also have a great little boy, a dog - the suburban dream. I graduated college and had a really exciting career as a reporter, then left to work in marketing,

My baby brother put off college to work for a year in a construction firm his buddy's dad ran. He's still there ten years later. My sister left college with like six credits left to graduate due to illness and never went back. She's never been career oriented and has been laid off several times over the years. They both had every advantage growing up and tuition would have been paid in full, so I think there is a general lack of ambition, which I have in abundance. My sister told me recently that she always just felt like if she was behind, it was because I was older, even though we're both well into our 30s now.

But my brother just bought a house and paid off all his debt after living with us for three years, and my sister is a finalist for a job that would pay $20 K more than she's making now, which would mean they both make more than their college-educated older sister who has an important job at a university. They are both incredible people.

[JamaicanPineapple]

Yep. My sister (4.5 years younger) dropped out of high school at 16, has been into drugs in the past, got KU at 19 (I adore my niece though, she's almost 8 now), lived with my parents on and off which pretty much forced them to raise my niece. She's living with her BFF and her kids now and working at Burger King. It's the most stable she's been in 10 years, which is a very good thing.

I went to college and have a Masters Degree and have had steady full-time jobs for the past 6 years, being at my current one for over 4 years. So yes, I'd consider myself more successful.

[curtains]

yes - so I guess all that pushing for perfection my parents did worked out

[Bernadine]

Not necessarily. I have a good job and make a pretty decent salary. My youngest sister is 8 years younger than me and just starting out, but I'd imagine she'll catch up to me.

My middle sister is 4 years younger and has taken a much different path. She'll be 27 this month and is just graduating with her bachelors, after moving back home. So technically, she's probably not as successful, but she enjoyed her late teens/twenties a hell of a lot more than my youngest sister and I did, and I think there's something to be said for that.

[lightbulbsun]

Yes, because I work harder and am more motivated than him.

He's never gotten a job on his own. In high school he got his cashier job because I already worked there. Now he works at my dad's company part time.

I graduated college right when the economy went to shit, and applied to 200+ companies in 6 months and was finally able to get a job 2 months after I graduated.

He's living in my mom's house, and when we sell it he's planning on moving in with my dad.

He's such a smart kid, and it's frustrating to see him waste that.

[sunshineluv]

I am the middle child and I am vastly more successful by measurable standards than my siblings (education level and salary).

[DotAndBuzz]

My sister is kind of a wreck, so I'll say definitely in regards to her.

My brother and I both have multiple degrees, but he is more educated (MBA). Maybe if you are looking objectively he's more successful since I don't work anymore, and he owns his house.

[luckyval]

My older sib is not a wreck by any stretch. I think I've achieved more overall - more education, more stable career path with more noteriety, more grounded person. But, given that she dropped out of college, she's done pretty well for herself.