I am the oldest and I am the most successful thus far, however, my youngest sibling is 10.5 years younger than me, who knows what she'll be doing at my age.
My H is the middle child and the only boy and he is definitely the most successful of his siblings.
My little sister is only 19, but I'm sure she'll probably out-achieve me in the long run. I got better grades in HS and went to a better college, but she's doing much better (so far) at staying focused and applying herself. Plus she has me to keep her in line!
My youngest sister is only 21 so it's still too soon to tell with her. My other sister, who is 16 months younger than me, has struggled a lot. She dropped out of high school, is an addict, has been in and out of jail and rehab and has never held a job. So, I would say yes, I am the most successful but I am not at all in the place I thought I would be at this age.
Comparing our achievements at the same age, I was significantly more successful than my brother. As for expectations...my parents WANTED my brother to be better than I was. No such luck.
Yes. My brother dropped out after HS and is taking over my parents' restaurant. But he hates it and freaks out and wants to quit every other year or so. He lived with my parents until the age of 31 too. He is your typical "baby".
H's younger sisters are equally successful as he is though. Just in different areas. Like his youngest sister is a vascular surgery fellow in NYC, so super succesful career wise (H is too, but more balanced) but she still depends on my ILs on a lot of things, being the youngest and all.
I've always done better in school, independence and motivation than either of my younger siblings -- paying for my own stuff as soon as I could, working a lot during HS, etc. My sister is prone to self-sabotage and a possibly-unconscious love of drama. She has a better job on paper, from some perspectives -- she's a nurse and I WAH PT (she has a nursing degree, I have a masters). She definitely makes more, but she's in a situation where she and her DH can't do without her income and she carries the insurance, whereas I was able to SAH for 5 years; and I know she wishes she had that flexibility.
My younger brother flunked out of college, got an associate's, works for the family business, and hasn't had a dating relationship since HS (he's 31). He's a great, funny guy, but I suspect he's on the spectrum or close to it.
OTOH, DH is one of seven and amazingly, they are all self-supporting, stable, likable adults, most of whom have advanced degrees and husbands/wives/kids.
I've definitely felt like I was expected to live a certain way, and I've also felt that my younger sister and brother have gotten away with more than I ever could. I was also too intimidated to disobey my parents in any way and I was a lame goody-goody for a lot of my life.
My brother and I have college degrees (my parents took out loans for my sibs - I commuted to school and paid my own way because I felt bad asking them to pay for me to go away), but our sister dropped out to work PT jobs for a few years before deciding to become a hairdresser. I started dating MH at 18, and got married and bought a house. The two of them still live at home (my parents had always said we could all stay as long as we wished) ... my sister doesn't seem interested in moving out anytime soon, and my brother had talked about moving out a while back but those plans got tabled after our dad died last year.
I think my brother and I got the work ethic - we made sure to finish school and get "real" jobs, while our sister just sort of floats through life. My sister is making it a point to spend time with our mom now that our dad is gone, and I try to check in on her throughout the week, but our brother is barely home anymore because he's always with his girlfriend. And the two of them are able to talk to people and make friends and be personable really easy, whereas I'm super-awkward and can't remember someone's name or tell a funny story to save my life. The two of them found it easier to try new things and branch out while we were all growing up, whereas I felt like I always had to follow the rules and not do anything to cause trouble ... it made it really hard for me to make friends and fit in because I didn't want to drink or stay out late or talk to guys.
Post by thatgirl2478 on May 1, 2013 8:37:38 GMT -5
We're both successful in our own lives. However, if you mean by societies definition, then yes, I am more successful. I have a corporate job, his is manual labor (drives an 18 wheeler truck locally for grocery deliveries). I went to college, he didn't. I lived on my own after college, he lived with my parents until he got married (at the time he was driving a truck cross country, so he was only home every 2 months or so which made having his own place impractical). Different, but both successful.
Post by saraandmichael on May 1, 2013 8:51:29 GMT -5
i'm the middle child and probably the most put together of my siblings (recent mental issues aside).
we all graduated college (my oldest sister even has a master's) but in terms of responsibility and handling life in general, i am a bit better at coping and getting shit done. i have a bit more drive and focus than my siblings do.
my husband is the oldest of five, and he is for sure the most successful of his family. his younger brother is a police officer, and his two youngest sisters both have college degrees (and are still young and just starting out) but they had everything paid for and still live at home with my fil (minus my bil, who just bought a house with his wife). they don't have much direction or expectation to be out on their own and handling adult responsibilities. his other sister (my crazy sil) has not college degree, though she was in school a long time ago to become a hairdresser (but failed out because she would never wake up on time to get enough of her practice hours in) and is a sahm with four children, ages 2-8. her husband works at a well-known national company and makes a decent living for someone without a college degree, but they are frivolous with their money (it seems) and are always struggling and looking for handouts.
I think my parents worry the least about me, but I don't think that equates success;).
My younger sister is a vet and her husband is an electrician at a box manufacturing plant. He works overtime and holidays and makes quite a bit more than her. They also live in a rural area so the dollar goes far. His jobis not sustainable at tat level and they are having ( known to all) problems having a baby. Plus she has some back issues.
My older sister bought her own house at, like 25, survived 2 years of unemployment ( opened a side service business she maintains still about 10 years ,after) and had a complete career change she loves. She is however coming up on 40 and in a dead end relationship that she can't kick because is afraid that will be the end of ever getting pregnant;(
I am a SAHM in a HCOL area and conviently the only one out of state. They aren't privy to my daily nuances and therefore don't worry. I am happy being a SAHM but is doesn't bode "success" to me
Everyone in my family would probably say my older sibling is more successful because she has her masters and has the job title. They'd probably die if they knew I made nearly double what she does. She doesn't like change and has been at the same job for 16 years (her only job), I'm much better at dealing with stress and going after things.
Post by AmeliaBedelia on May 1, 2013 10:09:54 GMT -5
Yes. We're only a year apart, but I've got a bachelor's and I'm in law school, and she's unemployed with a high school diploma. Hopefully she'll get it together one of these days.