Talk to me about post partum sex

[underwaterrhymes]

So, this Friday marks six weeks since K was born. I'll be seeing my OB and - with any luck - getting cleared for both exercise and SEX.

I had a second-degree tear and am still spotting a little, but am mostly feeling back to normal in the vag region.

I really miss sex (the handys and BJs have been fun, but I'm am excited about some peen / vag action) and I'm am a bit nervous since I know it can be uncomfortable in the beginning.

We plan on taking things slowly and gently, but I'm not getting my hopes up too high as I know it might take a few tries before it feels the way it used to.

Any tips? (I'll also take anecdotes for how long it took before you were thoroughly enjoying it again.)

[Deleted]

LUBE.

[eb777888]

I took a muscle relaxer and had a couple glasses of wine. I had a really bad tear and it took the better part of a year for sex to get back to normal for me.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 1, 2013 19:18:45 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

LUBE.

Haha.

I'm 38 years old. Lube has been a part of my world for awhile!

[Deleted]

May 1, 2013 19:20:51 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 1, 2013 19:18:45 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

LUBE.

Haha.

I'm 38 years old. Lube has been a part of my world for awhile!

Good. Now use twice as much.

Also, is that what happens? Fuck. I am not looking forward to my late 30s then.

[underwaterrhymes]

@tambcat - LOL. Okay, that gives me hope.

eb777888 - Okay, yeah. Wine will definitely be a part of the evening.

[candreco]

Have lube handy, hormones tend to make things drier. Otherwise, go slow at first. At least with DD, it was just a little uncomfortable initially, but got good pretty quickly.

I have my post pattum check up on Friday as well, and am looking forward to actual sex this weekend too.

[ndolehan]

I second the lube.

I had a third degree tear and no issue. Yeah - a little uncomfortable, especially certain positions. But if you go slow, take your time you'll be good-to-go. I just let H know that I might randomly tell him to stop or go slower.

[daisybuchannan]

It has sucked and been painful the whopping.....hmm maybe 5 times we've tried.

[alzi]

What about sex post c section? Any advice? I got cleared Monday. Sadly I'm in no rush, but what am I to expect?

And lol, the nurse at the dr asked what my method of birth control was and I said right now? Having a newborn. i didn't think she was serious.!

[Deleted]

May 1, 2013 19:40:24 GMT -5 alzi said:

What about sex post c section? Any advice? I got cleared Monday. Sadly I'm in no rush, but what am I to expect?

And lol, the nurse at the dr asked what my method of birth control was and I said right now? Having a newborn. i didn't think she was serious.!

I still hurts. I think hormones are to blame. I put frozen peas on my crotch afterwards.

Use lots of lube, go slow, and prepare your dh for the possibility of having to stop before he's done.

[underwaterrhymes]

Okay. No, this is good. Thanks for the input.

I'm prepared for awkwardness and discomfort (but hoping it's minimal!)

[TrudyCampbell]

I can't really relate to this because there were no handys and BJs happening when I was post partum! I had a few recovery issues so I wasn't cleared for sex until 5 months PP or so and even at that point it was pretty uncomfortable. It straight up HURT for the first minute or so but then got better. I had a 2nd degree tear and I'm 1 year PP (exactly!) and the scar still tingles a little when we first start but then I can't notice it.

Good luck! Lube + alcohol!

[saraandmichael]

in addition to what was said about the pain and such, i was a firm "don't touch my boobs during sex when they are being used to feed our baby" because it just felt like their purpose was not allowed to be anything other than biological. which sucked, because it was super weird to be all "uhhh...don't touch those."

[underwaterrhymes]

There is no touching of the boobs.

I have over-active letdown and they react to the baby, of course, but also H (and the cats). But every time H and I have gotten intimate, they start spraying.

So, yeah.

I will be having sex with my bra on.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 1, 2013 20:28:12 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

There is no touching of the boobs.

I have over-active letdown and they react to the baby, of course, but also H (and the cats). But every time H and I have gotten intimate, they start spraying.

So, yeah.

I will be having sex with my bra on.

By the way, this is just AWESOME. I feel like this:

[underwaterrhymes]

Oh, and while we're on the topic...

Did anyone else's gag reflex change after having a baby? This makes no sense to me, but I cannot give a BJ to completion to save my life. I have NEVER had an issue with this before.

I am mystified.

[papie]

It was really painful for like the first 6 months.

[psychmom]

Honestly? The first time (12 weeks pp) reminded me of the first time I had sex. Like others said, lots and lots of lune and tell your H to go super slow. It took a good 6 months for sex not to be painful for me.

Have some wine and try to relax as much as possible.

[sewf]

Also, try being on top. That way you control the depth and speed.

[meganew]

Well, I had a 3rd degree tear and lots of stitches and it hurt like hell- like, we couldn't even really do it. Now I'm 20 months out and it still hurts when we first start. I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad if we were doing it more consistently, but the pp hormones have changed the way my body reacts to birth control, so we're still trying to find one that works for us.

[liverandonions]

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it, but use a lot of lube

I had a second degree tear and a really easy recovery luckily. There is one position when I'm on top that hurts so I had to find a workaround but since changing it up I'm having the best orgasms ever. Good luck!

[underwaterrhymes]

I feel like a douche liking people's posts when they are like, omg my boobs were crazy, my gag reflex sucked, my vag was awful but I feel at one with you guys right now, and I didn't even get to talk about my hemorrhoids yet!

[pursemeatballs]

May 1, 2013 20:53:38 GMT -5 sewf said:

Also, try being on top. That way you control the depth and speed.

This. And also, as everyone else has said, lots of lube.

This is probably TMI, but I would check things out down there for yourself before hand (if you haven't already). That way you get the feel of what the scar tissue is going to feel like. It doesn't stretch, so it's uncomfortable. To be brutally honest, I thought that sex hurt for the first few months and then didn't really start to feel back to normal until about 9 months.

[poppyseed]

May 1, 2013 20:31:44 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Oh, and while we're on the topic...

Did anyone else's gag reflex change after having a baby? This makes no sense to me, but I cannot give a BJ to completion to save my life. I have NEVER had an issue with this before.

I am mystified.

YES.

It got better around 4 months pp.

[Jillaroo]

I had a baby in December with no tearing or anything and so far we've had sex once in March. We used a little lube and that was it. It didn't hurt or anything. It actually felt awesome. Deprivation makes DH try harder evidently.

[eddy]

Just keep expectations very low lol.

Be ready to laugh at yourselves/situation.

Ugh pp sex. I am glad I don't have to do that shit again.

[cheeseandcrackers]

NONE of this sounds pleasant.

[partiallysunny]

I had a second degree tear as well.

Lube well, lots of foreplay, and go slow. You should set the pace/control the motion.

It still stung a bit the first couple times we tried and we ended up stopping before completion. It was much worse then loosing my virginity.