A Christmas thread in May...

[new2this2]

I'm a planner. I like to get things done early and take my time. One of the things I like to get done early is my Christmas shopping. In the past I've collected gifts throughout the year and by Black Friday I'm done. My in-laws... well, they are NOT this way. In 2010 nobody got gifts, in 2011 everyone bought gifts, and in 2012 we did a secret santa. None of this is ever decided until mid-December and it drives me nuts.

Is it cool just to say F it and do my own thing? I hated Christmas last year partially because I was running around the week before Christmas trying to think of and buy a gift. We try to budget gifts specifically and I like being able to think about it and buy the perfect gift at a good price when I see it rather than searching for it at the end of the year.

[emoflamingo]

I hate not planning on things ahead of time (especially when it comes to shopping), but this is an instance I think might cause more issues if you say "screw everyone". I would just plan on using Amazon to buy the last minute gifts for your ILs if they decide to not do the secret santa this year and get everyone stuff.

But, as an aside, I enjoy White Elephant so much more than buying gifts for everyone. My grandparents get no pressure (aside from their 20-or-so great grandchildren - and my cousin helps there) and everyone has fun. We do gender specific gifts and limit it to $25. I think they decided to put a "No gift card" restriction on for next year because half the gifts were gift cards and it's okay if you can use them, but I live in a different city with half the stuff they have.

[ktzmoh]

I'd send around an email in about October asking what the plan is for Christmas. I think it's too much to expect people to decide on this kind of thing in May. My siblings and I change it up all the time depending on how people are doing financially and how many nieces/nephews there are. In recent years, we've done secret santa, but just for the kiddos , and really we can not realistically coordinate drawing names until about Thanksgiving.

[Deleted]

I'm a planner too but you send me an email in May asking about Christmas and I give (huh) you this look.
Nobody can schedule that far ahead and if I want something in May chances are I'll buy it long before Christmas.

I'd just work on buying some stuff at places that has no return date, useful things people won't return when they're on sale, gift cards or more generic stuff (booze) you can give to someone else.

Or pick out something you think they might like as you see it and call it a day. There's a point where it's up to the reciepent to decide what do with it later..not your problem.

[new2this2]

I wasn't planning on talking to them about it - there's really no point. Last year I tried the whole "I want to have my shopping done by Black Friday thing". I even went so far as to set up the drawing through the website my ILs told me they wanted to use to draw names. Nobody confirmed with the website and BIL ended up redoing it all mid-December (hence not getting names until then). They're just not the type to plan ahead.

Le sigh. I know you're all right. I need to just let it go and use Amazon at the last minute.

[emoflamingo]

I feel your pain. It's taken 7 years for us to get a routine down for holidays that are huge (Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, mostly) and then the rest (like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Forth of July etc.) are all spur-of-the-moment and they drive me CRAZY. I like to know I have solid plans because otherwise, I'm going to plan an alternative. Last year, we ended up spending the Forth alone because no one planned anything and I was too lazy (pregnant) to try to make any effort. It kind of sucked. This year, though, I have a big yard so I can plan something myself!