My heart goes out to some of you

[flex]

Karma's post took me back to a not-so-good time in my life. I was so overwhelmed with how unhappy I was at work and with my marriage. An ongoing work environment finally pushed me over the edge with my depression--I kind of gave into the dark side.

I remember my ex-dh kept saying, "What's wrong, flexie?" And honestly, I didn't know what was wrong with me. In hindsight, I know now that I was clinically depressed. I'd passed the point of where I could no longer pull myself out of that deep, dark hole. Around that time I took a 10 question test that can determine if a person is depressed. I did it during a women's church retreat and I totally passed the test. It was a turning point for me.

After the test, I made an appointment for an Municipality-run counseling program. The woman I talked to suggested counseling through my insurance, and she also suggested I start taking St. John's Wort to see if it would help me feel better. I was skeptical at first, but it was inexpensive and I thought I'd at least give it a try. Surprisingly it DID help at first. But after awhile it still wasn't enough. Not longer after that I started ACTIVELY going to counseling and was prescribed anti-depressants.

That was 14 years ago. I honestly believed those A/D's saved my life. Or at least improved the quality of my life. Since then my kids have gotten older and they're much easier to deal with because they're adults (lol) and 10 years ago I FINALLY divorced the man that caused a large portion of my unhappiness.

So to those of you who are struggling with depression: if you feel hopeless and helpless, please make some effort to get help in order to feel better about yourself. If you do so, I promise you that even though it may not happen right awayand it will be difficult at times, it's SO worth it. Because you are--you are worth it!

[Mrs.Rad888]

I've been dealing with depression for about a year and a half, and have been on an AD since December. I do notice a difference between me now and me a year ago, but didn't realize I was depressed until I read an article someone here posted. It was the addition of anxiety that finally made me realize that I needed help. The circumstances that led to my depression are still present, but the AD along with therapy have made me better able to deal with it.

[mudslide]

Anti depressants have saved my life. No joke.

[flex]

Jun 10, 2012 23:34:33 GMT -5 @amber said:

I'm on day 3 of an ad!

That's great, amber! Keep up the good work! :heart:

[Deleted]

At the end of 2010, I was severely depressed. I spent every single day praying for death. I'd sit in the dark and contemplate suicide...get up, walk to the bathroom, hold the pills, think about how easy it would be swallow every damn one...and then hate myself for not having the courage.

I would get in my car pray that a semi truck would hit me or I'd slide on ice. Oh, man..I wanted to die. My marriage was badly suffering for it. I was at the end of my rope.

The BNOTB group encouraged me to attend therapy sessions. I was terrified that I'd be locked up forever and my H would divorce me...who wants to be married to the crazy lady? But I forced myself to go to the therapist. When she asked why I was willing to try therapy, I told her I had nothing left to lose...there was nothing else I could try. That first session I was sick to my stomach and shaking violently. I was terrified. When they prescribe and AD, I was devastated. But my therapist told me that even a diabetic can diet and exercise, but if they need insulin, they need insulin.

That seriously clicked in my head...I could attend therapy and all that, but if I needed the AD, I needed it...it's no different than needing an inhaler for asthma or insulin for diabetes or Excedin for a migraine.

The AD and BNOTB saved my life. I'm in such a better place and my marriage is SO much better. I have my life back. My OCD is also under control...it's amazing. I actually love me.

Depression is horrible...it's debilitating. It steals your life from you. It destroys relationships. It distorts your perception on life and your relationships. It is an evil, evil thing...but reaching out for help, both professionally and through friends, and an AD saved me.