This is brutal...

[usedtobebear]

So much for feeling confident about my divorce, I hit a big wall this weekend and cannot shake this sadness and feeling of dread inside of me. I even tried to pull myself together so I wasn't wallowing in self pity all weekend. Saturday I went to dinner and a bar with friends, couldn't even enjoy myself and left at 10pm to go home to be with my dogs. Sunday went to friends bbq and was the only single person and the only person without kids. I couldn't get home fast enough. My life just feels surreal, I feel like no one understands what I'm going through, it's the worst. I just keep thinking this can't be happening and I'm going to wake up one day and this will just be a bad nightmare. I know this is the best decision for me and I'm not turning back but it fvcking sucks and I wish I didn't feel so sad all the time. Ugh...

[kc18]

Hi there. I don't know your back story, but I do understand how you feel. It is a sucky situation to feel like you're on the outside looking in.... at your own life, at other people's seemingly happy lives, etc. Or to feel like you're behind everyone else. I get that feeling sometimes, thinking that I just can't wait for my life to start (while everyone else's is full steam ahead). The best thing I do that helps me get out of that funk is to do something I really enjoy.... or to plan a trip somewhere. I love traveling, so that's pretty much my outlet. I have something to look forward to when I plan one. Go with a best friend, a family member, your mom, sisters, whoever your favorite person is in the whole wide world. Or take a trip alone. Whatever makes your heart happy is what you should be doing right now. Painting, cooking, taking your dogs to a dog park, whatever it is that floats your boat, please do it, and take care of yourself during this time. Good luck.

[starryfish]

I still go through these emotions, but they are DEFINITELY less than what they were in the beginning. ({) usedtobebear (})
It will get easier with time. Is there a divorce support group you can join? Are you in therapy?

[usedtobebear]

Jun 11, 2012 10:42:08 GMT -5 kc18 said:

Hi there. I don't know your back story, but I do understand how you feel. It is a sucky situation to feel like you're on the outside looking in.... at your own life, at other people's seemingly happy lives, etc. Or to feel like you're behind everyone else. I get that feeling sometimes, thinking that I just can't wait for my life to start (while everyone else's is full steam ahead). The best thing I do that helps me get out of that funk is to do something I really enjoy.... or to plan a trip somewhere. I love traveling, so that's pretty much my outlet. I have something to look forward to when I plan one. Go with a best friend, a family member, your mom, sisters, whoever your favorite person is in the whole wide world. Or take a trip alone. Whatever makes your heart happy is what you should be doing right now. Painting, cooking, taking your dogs to a dog park, whatever it is that floats your boat, please do it, and take care of yourself during this time. Good luck.

Thank you for responding, I am going to Phoenix with my Mom in two weeks and staying at a nice resort, so that will be fun, and I have some upcoming concerts planned. I did take my dogs to the park yesterday. So, I am trying to not let myself completley sink into a self wallowing depression, but gawd it's hard.

[usedtobebear]

Jun 11, 2012 10:43:28 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I still go through these emotions, but they are DEFINITELY less than what they were in the beginning. usedtobebear
It will get easier with time. Is there a divorce support group you can join? Are you in therapy?

Thank you for the hugs, much needed. Yes, I'm in counseling weekly and that helps so much!! She helps me with my new life motto, I know my own truth, and when DH trys to manipulate me and make me feel crazy I just have to keep remembering only I know my own truth and he can't take that from me.

[explorer2001]

Jun 11, 2012 12:41:16 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Thank you for responding, I am going to Phoenix with my Mom in two weeks and staying at a nice resort, so that will be fun, and I have some upcoming concerts planned. I did take my dogs to the park yesterday. So, I am trying to not let myself completley sink into a self wallowing depression but gawd it's hard.

First, I think we've all been there. Do things you love. Spend time with.people who support you. Journal. I talk to my counselor, she always helps. Make a list of the things you can do now and no longer have to worry about.

Also, I'm in Phoenix so let me know if you want any recommendations or to get together.

[lovelybb]

It gets better, I promise!! Hopefully soon, you'll look back on this time and be so proud of how far you've come!!!

[usedtobebear]

Jun 11, 2012 12:55:42 GMT -5 explorer2001 said:

Jun 11, 2012 12:41:16 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Thank you for responding, I am going to Phoenix with my Mom in two weeks and staying at a nice resort, so that will be fun, and I have some upcoming concerts planned. I did take my dogs to the park yesterday. So, I am trying to not let myself completley sink into a self wallowing depression but gawd it's hard.

First, I think we've all been there. Do things you love. Spend time with.people who support you. Journal. I talk to my counselor, she always helps. Make a list of the things you can do now and no longer have to worry about.

Also, I'm in Phoenix so let me know if you want any recommendations or to get together.

My journal is definitely saving the day, and my counselor. I will make that list tonight!
We are staying at the JW Marriott, my sister in-law works for Marriott, so we get a discount. We aren't planning on having a car, so we will probably walk to the Desert Edge area to eat. I have some family in Phx so we're counting on rides from them, lol. We are planning to just hang out by the pool all weekend, you are welcome to come for a drink on Saturday or Sunday if you're in the area. :drink:

[Lauren88]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. If it helps at all, I'm going through the same thing. All I keep reminding myself is that it's got to start to get easier eventually. I can't stay sad forever.
I think the best thing to do, for me at least, is to just cry when you need to. Try to remember this is temporary. ((hugs))

[audg]

When I was at rock bottom with all my emotions a few months ago, someone here on this board gave me the best advice ...she said let yourself cry and feel the loss and know that every day you cry, you are one day closer to not crying anymore. And it's so true. I've been there, I know how horrible you feel and I'm so sorry.. but believe that it does get better ..I've been divorced for only a week and although I'm not crying every sngle day anymore, I still have my moments. But in order for it to get better, you need to feel the pain and grieve the loss..it's the only way you'll heal. Hang in there and know that you're def not alone. ((HUGS))

[jade28]

Lots of hugs to you. I completely understand what you are feeling. I would describe how I felt right after my divorce just like you did! I kept thinking I would somehow end up back in my old life and that none of this was permanent and I could "go home" if I really wanted to.

Just let yourself feel whatever emotions come. Let yourself be sad and then let it go. It's ok to feel this way and it's healthy. Just take it as it comes, give yourself time to feel the pain and then distract yourself with an activity that makes you feel good. Be super nice to yourself right now.

Honestly, don't expect your friends to understand or even be there. That is an error I made and it made things ten times harder. They just weren't there because no one could understand the depth of the pain and loss. Be your best friend and try to focus on what will get you to a happier place.

Stay strong!

[explorer2001]

Jun 11, 2012 13:19:42 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Jun 11, 2012 12:55:42 GMT -5 explorer2001 said:

First, I think we've all been there. Do things you love. Spend time with.people who support you. Journal. I talk to my counselor, she always helps. Make a list of the things you can do now and no longer have to worry about.

Also, I'm in Phoenix so let me know if you want any recommendations or to get together.

My journal is definitely saving the day, and my counselor. I will make that list tonight!
We are staying at the JW Marriott, my sister in-law works for Marriott, so we get a discount. We aren't planning on having a car, so we will probably walk to the Desert Edge area to eat. I have some family in Phx so we're counting on rides from them, lol. We are planning to just hang out by the pool all weekend, you are welcome to come for a drink on Saturday or Sunday if you're in the area.

I live just a few miles from Desert Ridge.