I am throwing caution to the wind

[anna7602]

Maybe. At least, I really want to.

I have until today to tell these event organizers in Lisbon whether I can be there or not next month for an evening event. DH can't take more time off from work to come with us or to stay home with DD. We decided it was too chaotic, and expensive, for me to try to go with DD directly from our Spain vacation. (Event is only paying for my airfare as quoted/approved from Paris and providing me with a sofa to crash on in Lisbon. Such is the writer's life! With DD, I'd need a hotel.)

I've put out a billion feelers for daytime babysitters and got nothing. I can't even try to enroll DD in the public daycamp until July 2nd, because that's how it works here.

And yet I am optimistic still that I can make this work somehow. I want to write these people and just say, yes, I am coming, see you next month.

[crimsonandclover]

How bad would it be professionally if you said yes and then later had to back out because plans with DD didn't work out as you had hoped? Are these people you *need* to make an excellent impression on? If you have to tell them soon, then honestly, I would go that route if you honestly think you can find a solution for DD. Then if it doesn't work out, tell them asap and help them find a replacement for you.

[anna7602]

Jun 11, 2012 10:12:14 GMT -5 crimsonandclover said:

How bad would it be professionally if you said yes and then later had to back out because plans with DD didn't work out as you had hoped?

It would not be great for me professionally if I backed out. But it would be immensely amazing for me professionally if I actually went. (I wish I could draw a graph here of the potential payoff of going compared to the ridiculous crap I have to do to pull it off.)

I really want to go for many reasons, but I think I am also feeling angsty because this situation so succinctly shows how much it sucks to live a freelancer's life. If I were just on my own, there'd be no question of going. And if I got a ton of work out of it, great, none, oh well, better luck next time. But with DD in the mix, I have to pay so much upfront just to go (either for child care here or for extra tickets/hotel to take her) that I feel like if no work immediately results from it, I'll spend the rest of the year trying to justify the capital investment.

Also, this is coming in the middle of an overall I-have-no-help-in-France-and-it-sucks-crisis, as you can probably tell from my other recent posts.

[crimsonandclover]

:- / I definitely know what you mean about being a freelancer. Have you talked to people to find out what the chances are of DD getting into the camp? Honestly, I would just go ahead and book it and then if everything ends up falling through, graciously back out, explaining that your childcare isn't going to work out.

I've organized conferences before, and people *always* cancel last minute or ask to register way after the deadline. Speakers bow out a few days beforehand without giving what I consider a legitimate reason. Am I annoyed? Heck, yeah, because it means a lot of work for me, but as long as the reason is good, I don't think poorly of the person.

Are you going as a participant or as a speaker? If it's the former, then definitely say you'll come. If you're being asked to be a speaker, I would still strongly consider it. Personally, actually, I would say yes if I were in your shoes and then pull every stop to find something for DD.