Help! How to drop off your kid at child care ctr?

[devotchka]

I probably sound like a total idiot but I really have never had my kid in any type of daycare except having a good friend babysit while I worked p/t last year and my Mom has babysat on plenty of occasions. He is less clingy these days and distracted more easily, and I am looking for a p/t job right now so he will eventually go to daycare of some sort (or f/t, since I can't seem to find anything p/t)... For now, I am wondering how to drop him off at the child care center at the gym (we are thinking of joining one which is really closeby and has free child care!) - any pointers? Do I just put him in there and walk away and hope he doesn't notice? (<--- edit: being sarcastic here)

[Deleted]

I always hug j, tell him I love him, and say goodbye. ( this is after playing with him for a few minutes). I think it's actually worse to try and sneak out, some kids get confused and scared when they turn around and you aren't there. At least if you are smiling and waving, they know you are ok with them being there. It kind of depends on his temperament. He may cry, or, he may just keep playing. Good luck! It's really not super complicated or hard.

[devotchka]

May 15, 2013 23:04:57 GMT -5 @dragonmommy422 said:

I always hug j, tell him I love him, and say goodbye. ( this is after playing with him for a few minutes). I think it's actually worse to try and sneak out, some kids get confused and scared when they turn around and you aren't there. At least if you are smiling and waving, they know you are ok with them being there. It kind of depends on his temperament. He may cry, or, he may just keep playing. Good luck! It's really not super complicated or hard.

I figured doing a longer goodbye would make it worse. I think it depends on his mood, but today we went to the playground w/ a friend of mine and he was totally content just sitting on the soft ground near the little kid equipment and playing by himself. I was watching but I was pretty far away. He didn't even seem to care that he couldn't see me, so that was a good sign... this kid usually gets pissed if I so much as leave the room but lately it's getting better.

[Deleted]

At church and the gym I just give her a kiss and say have fun, I'll be back soon, byebye and the girl takes her. She's fine but she hasn't had any separation anxiety.. Yet.

[Deleted]

Never sneak out. That's mean for kids imo. Whenever I drop my kids off anywhere I give a hug/kiss, say bye-bye (happy voice!) wave and get out fast. Sometimes they (DS2) cry but the carers will always distract them and they will be fine 2.5 seconds later

[devotchka]

May 15, 2013 23:27:28 GMT -5 @starbound said:

Never sneak out. That's mean for kids imo. Whenever I drop my kids off anywhere I give a hug/kiss, say bye-bye (happy voice!) wave and get out fast. Sometimes they (DS2) cry but the carers will always distract them and they will be fine 2.5 seconds later

Well, ok I guess I have to clarify that I was being sarcastic about sneaking out (I don't think I could really do that!) I was thinking more in the lines of saying goodbye but not making a big deal out of it/long goodbye vs a short and quick one.

[jaime183]

May 15, 2013 23:04:57 GMT -5 @dragonmommy422 said:

I always hug j, tell him I love him, and say goodbye. ( this is after playing with him for a few minutes). I think it's actually worse to try and sneak out, some kids get confused and scared when they turn around and you aren't there. At least if you are smiling and waving, they know you are ok with them being there. It kind of depends on his temperament. He may cry, or, he may just keep playing. Good luck! It's really not super complicated or hard.

Yep I also say goodbye, I feel it helps with building trust

[devotchka]

I am just wondering - do I need to start with small increments of time since he is a bit of a clingy babe? Like 10 mins at first, then next time 20, etc? Or just do the whole workout and don't worry about it?

[Deleted]

May 15, 2013 23:34:48 GMT -5 devotchka said:

I am just wondering - do I need to start with small increments of time since he is a bit of a clingy babe? Like 10 mins at first, then next time 20, etc? Or just do the whole workout and don't worry about it?

I did a whole workout. They will come get me if she is crying a lot

[devotchka]

May 15, 2013 23:39:03 GMT -5 ladybug said:

May 15, 2013 23:34:48 GMT -5 devotchka said:

I am just wondering - do I need to start with small increments of time since he is a bit of a clingy babe? Like 10 mins at first, then next time 20, etc? Or just do the whole workout and don't worry about it?

I did a whole workout. They will come get me if she is crying a lot

True, I'm sure it'll be fine. I feel like my kid is clingier than most so I worry more than I should  

[vidalia]

I've got a stage 5 clinger and haven't had much luck with the gym daycare so far but I'm going to keep trying. Last time the daycare people suggested bringing a comfort item so I'm going to bring her blanket to see if that helps. Does he have a comfort item you could bring? I hope your LO does well and surprises you!

[shevacc]

G is very clingy, but I work full time so I have to drop her off at daycare every day. She screams and cries and tries to hold onto me for dear life nearly EVERY DAY. But I still have to drop her off bc I have to work.

I give her a hug and kiss, hand her directly to her favorite teacher, say goodbye, and leave. By the time I've put my shoes on outside the door, I can hear that she's no longer crying. So I guess what I'm saying is that even if he cries, it may only be for a minute. I think leaving him for your entire workout is just fine.

[devotchka]

May 16, 2013 0:02:53 GMT -5 vidalia said:

I've got a stage 5 clinger and haven't had much luck with the gym daycare so far but I'm going to keep trying. Last time the daycare people suggested bringing a comfort item so I'm going to bring her blanket to see if that helps. Does he have a comfort item you could bring? I hope your LO does well and surprises you!

He doesn't - and they say not to bring any toys/personal items like that, annoying  

Sucks that your clinger won't let you work out. Have you tried a lot?

[teamhayes]

I would say the first few times are tough til they realize how much fun it is to be there with the other kids and at that point you say bye have fun mama will be back soon.

Before that stay a while so they are comfortable. Play with them for a bit and say your goodbyes.

Mh drops K off at daycare so I have never actually done it so not sure if this is what really happens! Now mh is a sahd so this is moot for us til he is 2 and goes to preschool.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2013 23:29:49 GMT -5 devotchka said:

May 15, 2013 23:27:28 GMT -5 @starbound said:

Never sneak out. That's mean for kids imo. Whenever I drop my kids off anywhere I give a hug/kiss, say bye-bye (happy voice!) wave and get out fast. Sometimes they (DS2) cry but the carers will always distract them and they will be fine 2.5 seconds later

Well, ok I guess I have to clarify that I was being sarcastic about sneaking out (I don't think I could really do that!) I was thinking more in the lines of saying goodbye but not making a big deal out of it/long goodbye vs a short and quick one.

Sorry!! I read too fast!!
We do need a sarcasm font don't we

[katie]

I've always been the parent that lingers unless I know she is going to cry. I usually hang out for a few minutes, talk to the teachers, watch her play and then leave. I WAH so I'm not in a big rush to get to the office. Plenty of parents drop off, say good bye, out the door. And I do that sometimes but I like to chat, that's just me. I always wave bye and she knows I'm leaving. If she cries its usually only a minute or two.

[Deleted]

When we leave Thad at church I make sure to give him a hug and say bye, but sometimes I linger talking. I don't feel bad about just leaving when I am done talking. He is playing and doesn't care.

Sometime I plop him in the nursery workers arms and run if he is being clingy. It helps no one to make a big good bye. He knows I am leaving.

[The Foozzler]

Tyler cried when I dropped him off today and I just left. I know that sounds cruel, but he stopped within 2 minutes of me leaving. I always stay for a few minutes and make sure he is settled before I leave. I give him a hug and kiss and tell him I love him. Some days now he cries when I leave, but I know he enjoys daycare and he loves his teachers. Lingering even longer makes it worse.

[mumegs]

There are some parents at Macy's daycare that do sneak out when the kid is not looking. I know you said you were joking but my DCP always said that was bad for the kid. Anyway I don't know if I have any advice bc she's been going to daycare since she was 4 months old. I just drop her off and usually stay 10 minutes or so while she starts playing, then give her a hug and kiss and say bye.
I have the opposite problem now, Macy is getting attached to our DCP! The last couple days she has crawled over to her to pick her up when I was still there

ETA I know it's good that she likes her DCP, just hard to see them get attached to someone else.

[laurack]

Hubby does daycare drop off most days but when I do it, usually I just bring her in and it depends on her mood. Most of the time she is arching away, wants to get down and run off with her friends and/or get in the chair for her pancake. She knows the drill

Yesterday I was working from home so I did drop off and pick up. She was TERRIBLE. She hadn't slept well at all and was tired. She was super clingy. If I tried to put her down she did jelly legs and wailed. Even when she was down she would just run and try to hide in my legs.

After a long drawn out affair where I tried to extract her from my body, eventually I just had to hand her over and say bye bye while she cried. Oh she cried so much. its really terrible and you feel like shit just walking off!

But then two minutes later she's fine.

I'd say just do the whole workout too, they will come and get you if he is crying a lot anyway. I would say gym daycare has a lot lower bar for how much crap they will put up with than actual daycare so you will be hearing from them... haha

[jfh]

The first time you take him, I'd suggest sticking around for 10-20 minutes while he gets used to the environment. Don't make it a long "goodbye," just sit on the floor, play with some toys, and encourage him to interact with the other kids. Kai usually isn't clingy, but on the days when he is, it really helps him if I ease him into it. When you feel like both of you are ready, say a quick goodbye and leave.

[irishsara]

I always think its worse to hang out and play for awhile.

I usually just hand him off to his favorite teacher and she holds him and says "tell mommy bye!" and we wave and I walk out.

[Deleted]

I should also point out, J started DC when he was three months old. No stranger anxiety, so no problem. Now, his DCP is like his third favorite person in the world, so we just don't have issues. I still stick around and play with him for a minute though, it makes me feel better if anything.

[devotchka]

May 16, 2013 4:59:35 GMT -5 @starbound said:

May 15, 2013 23:29:49 GMT -5 devotchka said:

Well, ok I guess I have to clarify that I was being sarcastic about sneaking out (I don't think I could really do that!) I was thinking more in the lines of saying goodbye but not making a big deal out of it/long goodbye vs a short and quick one.

Sorry!! I read too fast!!
We do need a sarcasm font don't we

No worries. We do need a font or something - especially for me! I am sarcastic 90% of the time... lol!

[vidalia]

May 16, 2013 0:54:58 GMT -5 devotchka said:

May 16, 2013 0:02:53 GMT -5 vidalia said:

I've got a stage 5 clinger and haven't had much luck with the gym daycare so far but I'm going to keep trying. Last time the daycare people suggested bringing a comfort item so I'm going to bring her blanket to see if that helps. Does he have a comfort item you could bring? I hope your LO does well and surprises you!

He doesn't - and they say not to bring any toys/personal items like that, annoying  

Sucks that your clinger won't let you work out. Have you tried a lot?

I've honestly only taken her three times and each time they have come to get me after 30 minutes. I'm hopeful that if I keep trying she'll eventually make it through a whole class. Bummer that they won't allow any personal items. Maybe your LO can sneak some baby contraband in under his shirt!

[Deleted]

I do drop off every am. I get him seated for breakfast. I wave, smile, blow kisses. Sometimes intake a few pics on my phone. Honestly, he is so excited about breakfast that he ignores me half the time.
I'm there 5min or less. And ditto about the teachers, they do an awesome job getting the kids excited about coming in.