I feel like I can't keep my head above water.

[BieberMyBalls]

I'm so, so fucking stressed. They found more cancer. She has stage 4 on her adrenal gland. I'm not sure yet what this means, or what's going on, because my sister hasn't called me back yet.

My house is a write off, I've been a shitty parent, I'm just getting by lately. I've been doing so much for my Mom, that I don't have enough time, and when I do, I just want to relax. Tonight, I was late picking my H up from where he gets dropped off from work. He's still working OOT 4 days a week so he's never home. I apologize and explain that I had to wrangle the boys and sneak a shower in, and it took longer than expected. I mention the house is messy, and say sorry, and he says, "Fine, I'll do it all when I get home." in a pissy tone. He then goes on to point out that I'm late yet again, and that I should be there when he asks me to be there. I ask him to back off, that I've got a lot on my plate. DS asks what's wrong, DH in forms him that "Mommy's being a bitch." At this point I'm done. He doesn't get to treat me like that, or speak that way to our 6 year old. I ask him to pull over, he says "Fuck you." I ask again, he says, "No, fuck.you."
And that's when I stopped talking. We get home, I get the boys settled and out of ear shot, and I let him have it. I told him its time for counseling - stat. That I needed him to be on my side, going through this with me, not being abusive.


I'm so fucking floored. And just...numb. He NEVER speaks to me this way. I can't catch my breath anymore. I feel like everything is crumbling. I think its time to see a counselor for myself, too, because I don't know if I can deal with this on my own. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry bmb. I'll be holding you in my thoughts for sure. Big hugs.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry bmb. I'll be holding you in my thoughts for sure. Big hugs.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry about your mom and I really hope your H shapes up. Him treating you like shit is the LAST thing you need right now.

[2boys2danes]

Hugs to you BMB....sounds like you have a ton on your plate...hope it slows down for you soon

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

(((bmb)))

[speckledfrog]

((bmb))

[McGavin]

Damn. I'm so sorry about everything. Do you have anyone that take the boys for a bit so you can de-stress for a bit and catch up on things? Hopefully, your H realizes he was being a dick and makes it up to you.

[goaskalice]

Im sending some serious hugs your way right now. This is for sure the last thing you need. I hope he realizes what a dick he's being. Definitely get into some counseling for yourself, with the amount of stress your experiencing its easy to forget about taking care of yourself.

[toepick]

I'm so sorry about your mom, and floored that your husband is making things worse instead of helping. Hopefully you guys will get back on track soon! Do whatever you need to do to get through each day.

[Deleted]

Huge hugs to you. I am so sorry and am floored by how your h is talking to you. You do not deserve that.

[juliagoulia]

Bmb, please please please take care of yourself. Take time for yourself and talk to someone.

And I'll head up the ballsack destruction committee. Wtf.

[BieberMyBalls]

He apologized, so that's something. I'm still really hurt. And just tired. My sister got back to me. My Mom's lung is collapsed because of the pneumonia, but otherwise she's doing ok. She starts radiation Tuesday, but they have to be careful until the pneumonia clears up. They have to do more tests on her because the cancer on her gland didn't show up on any of the other tests, which indicates its spread from somewhere else. This is what my sister got from it all, but its very confusing.

[BieberMyBalls]

May 16, 2013 20:46:46 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

I am so sorry. I know that feeling well--like everything is just more than you can deal with and it's just going to rise up and crash down on you and all you can do is what you're doing but it never seems like enough.

Huge hugs. Insanely huge hugs. I second a counselor for yourself to help you with the stress, and a situational med might help too. If there's anything I can do, if you need to vent, whatever it might be, please PM me.

Is there any way you guys could swing some help to lighten the day to day load with house cleaning, laundry, or something else along those lines? Do you have a friend nearby that you might could get to come over and help you for a day?

And I hope the marriage counseling helps. I hope he sees that you need help right now, not another source of stress.

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. How are things going on your end?

Unfortunately the only friend I have here, really, works a lot so she can't help. He's really just going to have to suck it up and accept the fact that some things are going to have to wait until I have time. I have to admit I'm feeling very resentful, especially when I hear about him relaxing, and fishing after work, and hanging out at the bar with the guys, while I'm here in the middle of chaos. And then to come home with an attitude like this? Hell no. Ugh. Thanks again, everyone.

[luckyval]

You're H was being a selfish twat. I', glad he apologized, but I hope he can step up and offer you the support you need right now

I'm really sorry about your mom bmb

[BieberMyBalls]

May 16, 2013 21:08:35 GMT -5 Que? said:

I'm so sorry about your Mom. I think you need to be talking to somebody, just to help process everything you're going through right now.

This is dealbreaker time. He CANNOT say things like that to your kid. Your son will repeat that, or manifest it in some way and it's on you to correct the damage. (I know that's unfair, but it's true). My H can say some brutal shit when he's angry, and I worried so much about it when I had G. I got some great advice from suesue that made a huge impact. You can't change his behaviour, you can only control your reaction to it. You need to ensure that he doesn't damage your kids further by doing this again, because you can't trust him to do that on his own.

Huge hugs.

You're absolutely right, and I'm going to tell him so when we talk later. That is what baffled me the most, that he thought it was acceptable and appropriate to say that in front of our kids. I get being upset, and saying stupid things in the heat of the moment, but not like that, and not to our son. I warned him earlier, that it won't happen again. He can have beef with me if he wants, but if I can't trust him to behave like an adult, and set a good example for our sons who watch and listen to their Daddy's every move, then I have a huge problem with that.

And honestly, that aside, I'm actually wondering who the fuck I married right now. When I tell you he never does this, I mean never. We get mad at each other, and we can have some nasty fights, but we don't speak to each other that way. The fact that it came out so freely tonight is really concerning.

[sonrisa]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of that.

Your husband was way, way out of line. I am very angry with him on your behalf.

[sneetch]

Sorry you are dealing with so much terrible stuff. I am glad you know that your husband's behavior was unacceptable and called him on it. I hope he shapes up, and I hope brighter days are ahead for you soon.

[eb777888]

((((Bieber))))

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. This is more than anyone should have to handle at once.

I think seeing a counselor is a great idea.

Hang in there

[BieberMyBalls]

May 16, 2013 21:55:46 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

May 16, 2013 21:09:54 GMT -5 BieberMyBalls said:

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. How are things going on your end?

Unfortunately the only friend I have here, really, works a lot so she can't help. He's really just going to have to suck it up and accept the fact that some things are going to have to wait until I have time. I have to admit I'm feeling very resentful, especially when I hear about him relaxing, and fishing after work, and hanging out at the bar with the guys, while I'm here in the middle of chaos. And then to come home with an attitude like this? Hell no. Ugh. Thanks again, everyone.

We're hanging in there. There wasn't any improvement today at the cardiologist's and we're still waiting to hear back from Denver on whether or not they're willing to do a transplant. She said we may know next week. I'm terrified and an anxious wreck, so I've been trying to stay busy to keep my mind off things.

Hopefullt therapy can get you guys on the same page. But the offer stands if you need an ear.

I'm praying so hard for you guys. I really hope you get a straightforward course of action soon, so you all can get back to enjoying life, and Forrest can be on the mend. Huge hugs back at you, and likewise on the offer of a ear.

[angelaa73]

Duuuude.

No. Way.

[janiejones]

(((((((BMB)))))))

He's an ass.

[sunshineray]

I didn't read all the response, but hell fucking no. Good for you for laying it out when you got home. It's hard not to lose your shit when something like that happens, but I know what it's like when you've got your kid(s) around. I'm so sorry he treated you that way. There is literally no acceptable reason for that kind of behavior. Counseling? Yes. But I feel like the ball is in his court to make this right, especially since you said he's never spoken to you like that before.

Just a personal experience, and take this how you will. The first time my exH ever hit me was in the car while he was driving. My DD was about 10 months old and in the car. I said "god damnit" about a car that nearly ran us off the road and he lost his shit. I stayed for another miserable, pointless, and heart breaking two years.

I'm so so sorry. I hope you two can move past this and that was just a shitty one time thing.

[livinitup]

You're right and you have a good plan.

[snickers]

I am so sorry. I hope things get better real soon, your husbands comment was not cool.

[kaybee85]

I don't have kids, but I am sending major kudos your way for not 100% losing your shit when he said that to you. I think I would have gone berserk.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much stress and that your mom is having so many problems with her health. I hope things start leveling out soon.

Is there any way you can hire a cleaning service, even like 2x a month to help you feel more relaxed at home instead of thinking about all the stuff you have going on at home too? I know this is a burden costwise, so if it isn't in the budget, I totally understand. I pay like 60 dollars every two weeks to have someone come in for an hour and just do the basics during the school year bc I have an extra source of income with a side job at work, and it was worth it to me bc I was the only one doing work at home because of Hs workload. This suggestions is NOT to say your house is a mess and you should feel bad - I just know I can't relax at home when I feel like there is more I should be doing, and you also have the kids to do stuff for.

((hugs)) I'm sorry

[iamgrace]

Ugh I'm sorry.

[lightbulbsun]

I'm so sorry

[Waffles]

I'm so so sorry about your mum bmb.

Your H acted like a complete dick but I'm glad he apologized.
He still needs to hear that some circumstances come before anything else, including his needs & wants. He's the one who should be taking things off your shoulders right now, not adding to the stress. I hope he gets with it.

Big hugs.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry