UPDATE: the secretary who hates me knows i'm pregnant

[Deleted]

which, um, i thought she already knew.  since i started telling people at work like 4 weeks ago.  but this is how i found out.

on my way out of the building to run to a networking event for which i was late, the elevator doors open and SWHM is getting off as i'm getting on.

except she doesn't get off.  she stands on the threshold of the elevator while i'm trying to walk past her to get on, and says "I DIDN'T KNOW, i hope you don't mind!!!"  and i say "excuse me?"  and then she repeats that same sentence at higher and higher pitch until i say "didn't know what?"  and she says "about you." 

**the elevator doors begin to close, repeatedly, and she keeps shoving them open.**

i'm running late, i'm distracted, and if you shove the doors to our elevators open more than 3x, they begin the slow bataan death march shut, while beeping loudly, and won't reopen.  so, you know, i'm like wtf?

FINALLY, (idea), i say "oh, you know that i'm pregnant?"

and she says "YES, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND."  and finally moves out of the way.

i leapt onto the elevator to rush to my event, said "no, i don't mind"  (ASIDE:  MIND WHAT?!?!  what the hell is she talking about?)

the doors begin the bataan death march.  i wave.  she STARES AT ME IN THE FACE LOOKING ANYTHING BUT PLEASED UNTIL THE DOORS FINALLY CLOSE.

[TrickyBob]

She's creepy.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

The only way this would have been better is if you had stood there flipping her the bird while the doors did the slow close. Just because the image of that in my mind is hilarious.

[Muddled]

Don't mind what? Huh?

[hisno1girl]

Okay, she has morphed from annoying to creepy. Like an alien.

WHy would she just stare at you like that? Does she have any children?

Creeeeeepy.

P.S. Is there anything new on her desk?

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 9:56:07 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

OMFG, seriously, I might mention something to whoever is her supervisor, because holy bizarre.

i know, right?

i mean, i'm not afraid of her or anything, i'm mainly wondering how she functions in the world.  i'm also really hoping that my office moves soon (this is a possibility, they're shuffling our floors). 

one of the attorneys she works for saw part of this interchange and this morning was like "SWHM is really odd sometimes, huh?"  and i was like "you don't say."  and then we laughed and laughed and laughed.



ETA:  she does NOT have any children.  she DOES have 9 cats.  that is not an exaggeration.  i think the staring is because i was confused and likely making a confused face, which caused her circuits to overload because she doesn't know how to arrange her face in the face of (heh heh) someone she clearly hates/is afraid of, i.e., me.

i swear, people, i'm super nice.

[cleo29]

I just don't understand her. She should come with subtitles only they would explain the subtext of the shit she says.

[margotmacomber]

How does she function in a work place setting?  She seems like she should be somewhere with around the clock care.

[daisycat]

She is so weird.

[janiejones]

Is she this weird with anyone else?? Maybe she's just totally socially inept and it's not just you

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 10:07:14 GMT -5 janiejones said:

Is she this weird with anyone else?? Maybe she's just totally socially inept and it's not just you

yes.  maybe not THAT weird all the time, but weird enough that when people find out or remember that i sit near her, they will pull me aside for low-voiced stories about wackass crazy shit she's done/said in the past.

[partiallysunny]

How strange and creepy.

[cuddlyevil]

May 17, 2013 10:09:01 GMT -5 cville said:

May 17, 2013 10:07:14 GMT -5 janiejones said:

Is she this weird with anyone else?? Maybe she's just totally socially inept and it's not just you

yes.  maybe not THAT weird all the time, but weird enough that when people find out or remember that i sit near her, they will pull me aside for low-voiced stories about wackass crazy shit she's done/said in the past.

As an act of comisseration? Or in a "Tell me stories cville!" way?

Regardless, the lady is a nut.

[sunshineray]

I'm going to agree with mofongo on the possible Aspergers. My cousin has it, and I can see her doing something like that. No boundaries, awkward socialization, etc. But seriously, she is a wack ass.

[snickers]

Creeeeeepy!

[Deleted]

I feel like this is the start to a every Lifetime movie.

[fuckyourcouch]

she is so fucking weird. i don't get how anyone is that socially inept.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

lhc, i'm starting to think you're in cahoots with SWHM, you're so convinced that she's about to harm me. hmmmm...


cuddly, it's half commiseration, half looking for me to tell them a funny story.

[cc]

So strange!

[lightbulbsun]

She ate your veggie sandwich the other day, right? Maybe she was referring to that?

I'm just trying to make sense of it, lol. She sounds so weird.

[tantek]

May 17, 2013 11:02:21 GMT -5 lightbulbsun said:

She ate your veggie sandwich the other day, right? Maybe she was referring to that?

I'm just trying to make sense of it, lol. She sounds so weird.

That is exactly what I came in to say, and was hoping I wasn't mixed up with someone else!

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 10:53:32 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I don't know if she's going to harm you. Probably not, but she doesn't sound all that stable!

mmm-hmmm.  i've put out an ABP on pregnant redheads, just so you're aware. 



this is NOT the person who "stole" "my" sandwich.  that's immature marketing person.  who is otherwise normal and functions like a real person.

[Deleted]

She's going to skin suit you. Watch out!

[pantsparty]

9 cats. All is becoming clear now.

[Deleted]

I hate her.

[TrickyBob]

I feel like she's going to throw you a baby shower with all 9 cats in party hats. She's apologizing in advance. 

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 11:59:43 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

Personally, I think shes on the crazy train and you ought to do what you can to speed it along. When she said she knows, you should have started yelling "Dammit! How did you find out I have herpes?"

You are missing opportunities here!

Nononono just "how did you find out" and you string her along with vaguetities and then when she blurts out "That you're pregnant!" you just go "Oh........ooooohhhhhh right.  Yeah that's cool" and walk away.

The scene in my head is more articulate and funny.

[sherbanator]

That is creepy, wow.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 12:33:25 GMT -5 Que? said:

How old is she, and how does she dress? For some reason, I really need to know these details.

um, early 50s? 

she dresses like she last bought clothes when she first started working.  a lot of polyesther coordinate "suits."  conservative, professional.  with those rubber soled black shoes that nurses and waitresses sometimes wear.