I'm worried for my brother.

[Deleted]

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[thinkofthesoldiers]

Why did your SIL leave?

[Deleted]

list? for financial stuff to change?

[daisycat]

Can you go visit him this weekend, or have him come stay with you? Or maybe even meet in the middle for lunch or something? Anything to give him something to do this weekend.

I agree that he probably needs A lawyer and therapist as well.

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[Deleted]

Can you enlist the cousin's help if they are already close?

[Deleted]

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[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 10:07:06 GMT -5 @pjfranklin said:

Can you enlist the cousin's help if they are already close?

Cousin likes to smoke a lot of weed. My brother quit smoking almost a month ago. Cousin is still trying to push weed on my brother. My brother says he's not strong enough yet to be around people who are smoking weed and say no. 

[flex]

How old is your brother?

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 10:16:27 GMT -5 flex said:

How old is your brother?

30

[ndolehan]

Has he been in contact with her at all since she left? If she doesn't show up to the therapy session can she be considered as kidnapping the kids?

Sorry if that sounds extreme - I just didn't know how else to word things.

I also vote lawyer. The lawyer might have an idea on what to do in case she did split for good.

[snickers]

I agree with therapy, getting a lawyer and making a list of things he needs to do.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2013 10:20:34 GMT -5 ndolehan said:

Has he been in contact with her at all since she left? If she doesn't show up to the therapy session can she be considered as kidnapping the kids?

Sorry if that sounds extreme - I just didn't know how else to word things.

I also vote lawyer. The lawyer might have an idea on what to do in case she did split for good.

[Deleted]

How much of an issue was the marijuana in their marriage? If he was with cousin a lot, and cousin smokes a lot of pot, then I imagine she wasn't happy about it. Without knowing the situation, I'd be pissed if my spouse was spending money on pot while also telling me I spend too much. Again, I'm not saying this is true, but I wonder if this is how she perceives the situation.

Given what you've said, I'd encourage him to get some counseling and specifically address his recreational choices. This could show his wife that he's serious about fixing things between them, which includes working on himself. It would also help him deal with what's going on in a healthy manner. You should also have him suggest financial counseling as well.

(I will delete this for privacy reasons if you'd like. Just let me know.)

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[flex]

I hope your brother doesn't become too overcome with sadness about his wife leaving him. What he needs to take a look at is his own behavior and see what his part is in this relationship. I'm not saying that this is all his fault, but I hope he doesn't just point the finger at her.

[mariafromnj]

I hope she shows up to therapy. It sounds like this is what is best for them. The both have some issues with each other that need to be resolved. If your brother wants things to work with her, he has to let her know he will pick her over the cousin and weed.