Is this something to be worried about?

[DotAndBuzz]

warning - really disturbing/graphic dream my kid had

So Natalie has been complaining about having terrible dreams lately.  sometimes they wake her up, sometimes she just comes to snuggle me in the morning and tells me she had a really bad nightmare.  Last night she screamed for me and I went running.  She was shaking, I calmed her down, had her go to the bathroom (because who can go back to sleep w/ a full bladder, right?), and snuggled her back to sleep.  She didn't want to talk much, and I'm not sure she was completely awake.  All she said was she had the worst nightmare ever.

This morning i asked her if she remembered that I came to her room to help her go back to sleep after her dream.  She lowers her head and starts to cry, but is trying not to let me see her cry.  Like she's scared or something.  I ask her if she wants to tell me about it, and she hesitates, then says "I dreamed that you took a knife and cut Elizabeth's head."



Without thinking, I blurted out: "off?"

to which she replies, totally losing it at this point, "no, halfway off.  I don't ever want to have that dream again Mommy, I am so scared."



I said something about how it was just a dream, Mommies and Daddies won't ever hurt you, your sister, or other people,

I feel like I should say that we aren't an "aggressive"/physical family.  We don't spank.  We don't talk about hurting other people, even in a joking manner, I'm obnoxious about making sure my kids aren't exposed to violence on tv/on shows (we talk about any questionable stuff we see in a princess movie even).

I don't know what to do here.  Is this something to call her pedi about?  I know dreams are dreams, but that was just SO disturbing, and if there's something going on with her to trigger that kind of dream, I want to deal with it.  Now. 

Might dd, tia for no quotes.

[nsl]

Oh the poor little thing! I would call the pediatrician, just to see if he/she has any suggestions.

[Kristinmo]

I have dreams like that and always have. It sucks. It sounds like you did everything right to reassure her.

[cleo29]

ugh, poor thing. Did she ever have night terrors? C had her first at 10 months and even now, isn't really able to tell me what her dreams are about, I just know that they scare her.

This is not a reflection of your family. Could she have heard something at school?

One thing we do now with C is stay in her room as she falls asleep at night. It is not as terrible as it might sound lol since she is usually really tired and lasts maybe 10 minutes, but I think it makes her feel safe as she falls asleep. Perhaps do that for a little while until she feels safer. I think talking to your pedi can't hurt.

Poor, N.

[angelaa73]

Oh shit!

How terrifying.

[sake]

Awww, poor girl, that sounds horrible for her.
How old is your daughter again? I know when I was student teaching Kindergarten, a boy in my class started having night terrors, and the pedi told his mom it was just something that happened to some kids around that age, and that he would grow out of it, which he did, a few months later.

I hope that she really DOESN'T ever have a dream like that again, for both her sake and yours.

[DotAndBuzz]

I think she may have had a period of night terrors when she was around 18 months. She'd start screaming, and not be able to settle, and would literally roll over and over in my arms, thrashing, etc. Nothing I could do could settle her, or wake her up. I didn't realize what it was until someone else was talking about their kid doing this (like, a year after hers stopped), and I was like "oh, uh, I guess Natalie did that too. Huh."

But she usually is a dream at bedtime. She's not afraid to be alone, will happily sit in her bed and read until she's tired, then turn out her light and go to bed. She never asks us to stay in her room with her.


eta:  she's 5.  Starting kindergarten in the fall.

[nomad100]

Not a mom but I know I and DH both have crazy vivid terrifying nightmares if we get too hot when we sleep. Like crazy town/ getting caught on fire / killing people / getting eaten by sharks nighmares.

Is there any chance that with the weather getting warmer, she is getting overheated while she sleeps?

[Deleted]

I don't know about normal etc, but I wonder if you could try to have like a set thing she can do when she has these dreams. So maybe she will feel more in control? I'm thinking -- When you have a really bad dream, in the morning, draw it. Or something like that, to help get it out of her head.

I was going to suggest things she could do at night but if she isn't even fully waking for it then that doesn't make sense.

Poor girl

[DotAndBuzz]

I have to run now to get ready for my ILs to arrive in a couple hours (yay ) But I will check back and do appreciate the replies and any advice/recs you guys have.

[Doggy Mommy]

Poor girl, I feel so bad for her to have to have those dreams. :-( I wouldn't be worried per se, other than trying to calm her down, help her feel better etc.

It's a long shot, but the only time I have nightmares is when I'm too hot at night. That might be something to consider with the weather warming up. You could try giving her a thinner blanket instead of a comforter, cooler pajamas etc and see if that helps at all.

[Deleted]

I had incredibly realistic, violent dreams very frequently growing up and still have them today. You might start getting her to say out loud why the dreams aren't ever going to really happen. I don't know how, but over time I've been able to realize that the dreams are just dreams while I'm in them. I can even sometimes "control" the dream - I think it's called a lucid dream. I know that I'm less scared when I wake up when I've recognized in the dream that it was only a dream.

[chickadee77]

May 17, 2013 11:16:17 GMT -5 @pjfranklin said:

I had incredibly realistic, violent dreams very frequently growing up and still have them today. You might start getting her to say out loud why the dreams aren't ever going to really happen. I don't know how, but over time I've been able to realize that the dreams are just dreams while I'm in them. I can even sometimes "control" the dream - I think it's called a lucid dream. I know that I'm less scared when I wake up when I've recognized in the dream that it was only a dream.

This. I've always had very realistic and sometimes terrifying dreams. Early on, my parents taught me to train myself to recognize within the dream that it IS a dream, and what I'm seeing isn't real, and that I can control it, either within my dream by taking action, or by waking up if it's just too scary.

I still utilize this technique when I have nightmares or get sleep paralysis, which is different, but still very scary!

[textbookcase]

I had similar dreams as a child. I don't know where they came from, but I just had horrific, intense, vivid dreams throughout childhood. My parents weren't violent, I think I was spanked once or twice but it wasn't a frequent thing. I don't know where they came from. I don't have scary dreams anymore. I would also suggest maybe talking to your pediatrician or a counselor just to get ideas about how to deal with it. I do think it's perfectly normal, though it sucks Poor girl. I hope they go away for her.

[hopecounts]

Poor thing, it sounds like you handled it perfectly.
First I wonder if there's a kid at school sharing scary stories.
Second I wonder if there is a developmental thing around this age that leads to bad dreams a number of my friends kids went through a horrible dream phase around this age (4 or 5 yrs old)
This sounds silly but I swear it works for me tell her not to dream about something so non-scary its silly, maybe even have her draw a silly picture of what the silly thing can not do in her dreams.
The subconscious takes negative statements and flips them to positive so hopefully she'd dream of that.
It may not work but it probably wouldn't hurt, at the very least she'd have very happy silly thoughts in her head which may help.

[sunshineray]

Oh my gosh, poor baby. For your own peace of mind, I'd take her to the doctor. Hopefully she'll outgrow it and won't have this recurring nightmare. I also have always had super graphic, vivid dreams. Sometimes they are startling and get me rattled, but I am able to recognize (most of the time) that I'm dreaming.

I think you handled it the right way, and I'm glad she told you what it was and you were able to reassure her. I really feel for both of you.

Does she have any other sleep issues? (Sleepwalking, bed wetting, etc?) I think a visit to the doctor would make you both feel better.