Would this make you mad?

[escrow]

I knew mentioning her struggles would open a whole new can of worms that will take all day to explain, and I dont have time for that. And yes we are all concerned for her well being and are trying to help her and be sensitive to the things she is dealing with. I promise, she is being well cared for.

At the same time I don't like my password being compromised. If that makes me awful, okay then.

[flex]

14 year old kids are annoying--I'll grant you that, and I understand why you feel that way. But what concerns me is that you're downplaying the psych ward issue and focusing on your resentment over the password.

When she was sent to the psych ward, did you think she was faking it? Do you resent her for the "attention" she got?

[Deleted]

May 18, 2013 9:26:08 GMT -5 escrow said:

May 18, 2013 9:06:25 GMT -5 hungrycaterpillar said:

Really? A gigantic bill? That's what you're worried about here? 

Did my post imply that a bill is the only thing I am worried about here? Really? Cause no...

It implied that you were walking on eggshells because you didn't want to rack up another giant bill. You said you were walking on eggshells immediately after you wrote that she had wracked up a giant bill. 

So yes - that's what I took from it. 

Listen, you need to man up and be this child's advocate. Walking on eggshells isn't going to help her. Be the adult in the relationship and take charge of the situation. Let her know that you care about her and the choices that she makes because what I gather from the conversation, this is what you care about:

1) She's using your laptop, and you're not happy about it.
2) She spent your money due to a stay in the psychiatric hospital.

I really feel that this is all about how she's making your life an inconvenience and you're acting just like a teenager in response. 

[eb777888]

May 18, 2013 9:31:01 GMT -5 escrow said:

At the same time I don't like my password being compromised. If that makes me awful, okay then.

lol, well, it is compromised because it's a sucky password.

 

[psychmom]

Why would you yell at your h for this? Tell her it's your laptop and if she won't respect your rules, she can access the internet elsewhere. I don't see how her past problems has anything to do with this.

[escrow]

May 18, 2013 9:32:46 GMT -5 flex said:

14 year old kids are annoying--I'll grant you that, and I understand why you feel that way. But what concerns me is that you're downplaying the psych ward issue and focusing on your resentment over the password.

When she was sent to the psych ward, did you think she was faking it? Do you resent her for the "attention" she got?

That really deserves its own post though. I did not intend to divulge her struggles in this post.

When this happened it was a shock to everyone. I was very concerned, we all were and no I definitely did not resent her for it, I saw her every other day in the hospital and had heart to heart talks with her throughout the whole thing. I can relate to the things she is going through, I struggled a lot at that age too. I have known this girl since she was barely 3 years old. I have nothing but love for the girl, just get a bit irritated at the lack of privacy.

[escrow]

May 18, 2013 9:38:43 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

May 18, 2013 9:31:01 GMT -5 escrow said:

At the same time I don't like my password being compromised. If that makes me awful, okay then.

lol, well, it is compromised because it's a sucky password.

 

Lol. This is true...

[Deleted]

Dude, I think her seeing your password is the least of your problems.

Change the fucking password to something harder or get her her own laptop. They're like $300.

[escrow]

May 18, 2013 9:42:32 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Why would you yell at your h for this? Tell her it's your laptop and if she won't respect your rules, she can access the internet elsewhere. I don't see how her past problems has anything to do with this.

Please see previous replies. I was never going to yell at him. I am a sarcastic person, and intended that tongue in cheek not literally

[Deleted]

You're bad at sarcasm.

[flex]

May 18, 2013 9:43:48 GMT -5 escrow said:

May 18, 2013 9:32:46 GMT -5 flex said:

14 year old kids are annoying--I'll grant you that, and I understand why you feel that way. But what concerns me is that you're downplaying the psych ward issue and focusing on your resentment over the password.

When she was sent to the psych ward, did you think she was faking it? Do you resent her for the "attention" she got?

That really deserves its own post though. I did not intend to divulge her struggles in this post.

When this happened it was a shock to everyone. I was very concerned, we all were and no I definitely did not resent her for it, I saw her every other day in the hospital and had heart to heart talks with her throughout the whole thing. I can relate to the things she is going through, I struggled a lot at that age too. I have known this girl since she was barely 3 years old. I have nothing but love for the girl, just get a bit irritated at the lack of privacy.

You asked for opinions so here's mine: change your password.  Put your foot down if she wants it.  If you really do love her, do this.  

[Deleted]

I'd def have a talk with her about it. It's not ok but, so long as it stops now, I wouldn't get too angry about it. Change your password to something she can't just watch you type and figure out.

[escrow]

May 18, 2013 9:48:08 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

You're bad at sarcasm.

Apparently...

[mrsukyankee]

WWIII is something all teens have. And it's important for them to have it and to have their parents allow them to erupt and not get all hot and bothered by it. It's part of the individuation process and is all about setting boundaries - if you give in just to not get flak than you aren't doing the right thing by her. You let her get all huffy, let her know that you understand why she's upset, but the answer is still no.

[mrsukyankee]

And you can't...really can't...allow her to use suicide as a manipulation tool. That is not cool or good. Are you working with a therapist on how best to parent her during this time, cause I think it'd be a great thing to do. She still needs boundaries while also empathising with her. The whole, I love you but the answer is no, is a good way to go. Respecting her while also respecting yourself (kind but firm) is the best parenting tool you can have right now.

[adhdfashion]

Have her help you set up the tv and house pc. Then change your crappy password.