Parents giving you the guilt trip

[Deleted]

I have my own issues with DH, no need to hash that out right now.  I've brought it to his attention many times that I hold our house to a different standard of cleanliness than he does.  We could go round in circles over that one.  I really don't see the problem with letting the house go a bit for a couple of months since I am currently doing next to nothing when it comes to housework.  I literally take DS to school, take care of DD during the day, pick DS up, and then DH is on kid and house duty while I spend the night puking and sleeping.  Not an ideal situation for anybody.

[Deleted]

Also, let's just hash it all out. Just in case the next question was why I would procreate with a lazy DH. This pg wasn't planned, we were using birth control. One of us is getting permanent birth control when this is done.

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May 18, 2013 19:05:01 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

May 18, 2013 19:00:25 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Ok guys, regardless of the situation with her H, her Mom is still being an ass! Why make her feel shittier?

Stay on topic, people!

NOT SURPRISED.  

Yes yes yes, we all know The Triplets wrote my dh off years ago.

[snickers]

Your mom needs to STFU and mind her business. Your husband needs to get his shit together and grow up, like yesterday. His own timeline my ass.

[themoneytree]

Having just spent the first year of our daughter's life in the middle if a renovation that is only just starting to wind down, I totally feel your pain. And that's without adding an existing child into the mix.

I can have this place SPOTLESS and a contractor does work on the other side of the house and somehow the whole place ends up covered in dust and crap.

Sometimes cleaning has to take second place to other things. Trying to stay on top of contractor dust is almost impossible even without feeling sick and looking after a kid.

If your husband isn't willing to step in and clean more, can you get a cleaner in to help out once a week, or every other week?

With regards to your Mom's behavior - it depends how bad the house is. If it's just some toys, a load of laundry and some washing up then she's really being a bitch.
There are occassions I would die of shame if someone showed up on the doorstep unexpectedly.
However if the house is actually filthy ( is it?) then her concern is justified although her methods of bringing it up still suck.

You aren't going to get any judgement from me because I know how hard I have found it without being pregnant and sick. I'm sorry you are struggling - can you sit down with your Mom and tell her how it makes you feel when she makes her little comments? Be honest with yourself about how bad the problem is and whether your Mom has reason to be concerned.

[mushmouse]

Possibly she is a bit worried about you and doesn't want to go off on your good for nothing husband.

[Gato]

No, my parents never have and never would do this. If my mom criticized me for not cleaning as she was driving me to the hospital because I was so sick, or if she implied that I could somehow control my morning sickness, that would be the end of our relationship for a little while.

However my house looks is my own business, and is not subject for comment at any time, from anybody, but especially if I have been sick for months with morning sickness and am living through a remodel. You should tell your mom to fuck right off.

I'm really sorry you've been so sick, and hope you feel better in your second trimester.

[hisno1girl]

I've told my adult daughter to get her shit together and clean her house when it's really out of control (out of control for normal people, not out of control for me because I'm a clean freak) but I would have never said that to her if I knew the reason the house was a disaster is because she was suffering from such horrible morning sickness.  Having a dirty house because you're being lazy is not the same thing as having a dirty house because you are sick. 

I would have told her husband to get off his ass and step it up a little.  Yeah, he might think that once a month vacuuming is acceptable but if you have two small children in the house, I can assure you that it is not.

Also, I have no filter. If I think something needs to be said, I'll say it.