BF's sister's wedding is Friday ... need advice

[formerlyak]

So bf's sister is getting married on Friday and I am nervous about fielding all the "so when are you two getting married?" questions that will inevitably be asked. We are both asked all the time anyway. BF was asked at a funeral he went to last month! So with all the family in one place, I know the questions will happen.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I know it's coming, but he wants to talk with our families first to let them know what is going on, and he wanted to wait to do that until after his sister's wedding so as to not steal her thunder. But everyone suspects it is coming ever since we moved in together in January.

Any thoughts on how to answer these questions? I won't be at the rehearsal dinner, because I already had stuff going on with ds because it is his last day of school. So he will have to deal with that on his own!

[blackkitty]

I would just say, "soon, we hope, but we haven't set a date yet"

[formerlyak]

Jun 11, 2012 16:44:24 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I would just say, "soon, we hope, but we haven't set a date yet"

But we aren't engaged yet ... well, not that they are aware.

[Deleted]

"I will let you know as soon as I know" - then smile.

SO and I get these questions at every wedding. Not a big deal

[lovelybb]

Jun 11, 2012 17:01:05 GMT -5 tacom said:

"I will let you know as soon as I know" - then smile.

SO and I get these questions at every wedding. Not a big deal

I second this...

[pigeonmol]

"I will let you know as soon as I know, have you tried the bean dip?" It can also be any food that they have there.

[doriswe]

Scream "NEVER" and then run away crying....I suspect they'll stop asking in a hurry!!

In all seriousness, I'd go with Tacom said!

[explorer2001]

Tacom has the right idea. That or we'll let you know when there's something to know, or we'll let you know we we've decided.

[formerlyak]

That is a good line, tacom.

I also just learned that we will be sitting together at the reception (which I figured) and his parents have asked me to sit in the front row with them at the ceremony. So at least I don't have to field any questions without him. I can just smile and let him answer!

[cemacmil]

I just like to answer questions like that with a really sarcastic question example:

"When are you guys going to start having babies?"
"When are you retiring?"
"When are you closing on that house?" even if no such house exists

Ok - the above is evil because people have issues.....but I am super private and if I had previously gone through a divorce/wedding call off/big breakup......I would feel the "So when are you getting married" comments/questions this evil as such - even if I knew I was planning a life with someone. Sorry, I just find it annoying AND intruding.

So I guess I would just go with the above posters' answers - and then add in something about the bride and groom because THEY JUST got married

[kaneen]

Whenever someone asks me an inappropriate question I like to respond with, "Why do you ask?"

It makes them stop and think and really puts the owness back on them to try to come up with a good answer.

[bowies]

I've started getting this question too. I just half-smile, put up an eyebrow and say "When we do."

[formerlyak]

Unfortunately the snarky come backs that a few of you suggested would make me look immature, passive-aggressive, and like I was no where near ready to be in a post-divorce relationship where marriage is on the table.

I think I'll stick with what tacom and others with that train of thought suggested.

[blackkitty]

I dont understand the snarky come backs either or why the question is even really a big deal or so offensive to people. Just be honest... "soon, we hope" if you hope to get married soon or "not for a while" if you plan to wait a bit.

[Deleted]

Jun 12, 2012 11:04:41 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Unfortunately the snarky come backs that a few of you suggested would make me look immature, passive-aggressive, and like I was no where near ready to be in a post-divorce relationship where marriage is on the table.

I think I'll stick with what tacom and others with that train of thought suggested.

:y:

[achase123]

Jun 12, 2012 11:10:54 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I dont understand the snarky come backs either or why the question is even really a big deal or so offensive to people. Just be honest... "soon, we hope" if you hope to get married soon or "not for a while" if you plan to wait a bit.

This. I think it would be different if some annoying stranger asked you the question, then it would make sense to say something that essentially told them to back off. However, you are going to be at a wedding with your soon to be family. I agree with previous comments like "oh I'm sure that it will be soon enough" followed by a little wink or something along those lines. I'm sure you'll handle it just fine!