Found out my BF from HS is gay

[mrsjason]

Totally not a big deal.  I couldn't care less who is sleeping with someone from the same sex, but man, I didn't see this one coming.  Again, it's not that fact that he's gay that gets me it's that I had no clue, LOL.  I know it's ancient history, we dated like 15 years ago but it's kinda weird how you sort out your feelings at the time, assume things didn't work out for one reason or another and move on.  But finding out 15 years later he was gay had kinda thrown me for a loop.  It has sort dug up old emotions that I thought were sorted out within myself and now I am rehashing all of them.  

There was no bad blood with this guy, it just didn't work out.  I have always wished him the best and I have always thought of him in the highest regard.  He's an awesome person, super successful and is a ton of fun to be around.  And I have to say, I am happy he stopped giving a fuck and finally became comfortable with the person he really is.

But is it ok to admit that it's really weird to see him talking about his boyfriend on FB?  I don't think it's gross/appalling/whatever that he's gay, it just, hmmm, well, weird to see him with a guy in that sense.

[glo]

Yeah, I can get where you feel awkward about it. There was a boy in HS that would only date the skinniest, flat chested, short haired girls in school. No one suspected anything other than he had a thing for tomboys. Until I saw him on FB kissing his boyfriend, that is. I was shocked but happy he finally found what he wanted. And it was awkward as hell for exs, one was my friend.

[aegis2005]

I think that is a totally normal response.

[sunshineluv]

My bf from sixth grade is gay and does a lot of work for the gay community in his area, something with his job.

The funny part is when we went to the movies once, a rumor started that we ate a twizzler lady and the tramp style and kissed. Other kids would say twizzzzzzzlers to us to pick on us. It wasn't true, he didn't put the moves on me :-).

[mrsjason]

It's weird because there is no stereotypical things that I can say that was a definite indicator that he was gay......other than he kept his dorm room immaculate, LOL.  A bit of a neat freak.  

But man, he was well known with the ladies.  He was very charming, super popular, in a frat, and got girls left and right - hot ones too, and was pretty good looking.  Not that gay people can't be all of those things too but he played the part of straight college guy to a T.  I always wondered that why at 34 he hadn't settled down and ever became super serious with a girl......mystery solved!  

Ha, like I said not a big deal, was just a bit of a shock to find out this AM.  

[lauren9317]

That is kind of crazy! I can see where it would be a shock.

[cop]

One of my friends described his experience living knowing he was gay in a very conservative community.  He played up the part- played sports, hung-out with the guys, and dated girls all throughout HS.  He says he already knew really, but he kept thinking throughout HS that somehow he could magically change his mind over time.  Didn't work.  He is still the same outgoing, into-sports, guys-guy.  He just also happens to date men.

I didn't have many serious relationships before my husband, so I don't know how I'd feel if I found out a guy I dated was gay.  It might cause me to reevaluate the relationship too.  I guess it would be hard not to.

[mskateb]

When my brother told us he was gay, I was shocked. Not in a bad way, I just really had no idea. Thing is, he hid everything from us. He was insanely private, and now I guess I know why. Since coming out, he's still pretty private, but we've gotten to learn a little more about his life. I'm used to the affection between him and his boyfriend now, but it was strange at first. It was less strange to see him kiss his boyfriend than it was to see him kiss anyone. I can't remember a single hug between us before he came out. Honestly, I can't even remember him hugging either of my parents. He's just like that, so to see him be open about it was really different, but in a good way.

I can see how it would be strange for you, and I think that's a normal reaction. I just hope that all of this is a non-issue in the next generation. I wonder if I wouldn't have a better relationship with my brother if he hadn't kept so much of himself from his family for all those years.