What do you ladies say?

[christidee]

DH is graduating from college tomorrow. He is planning on going out with his friends all night long and getting wasted. There is a possibility he will stay out all night, or possily even go oot for the night. I've posted before about how I struggle when he is out without me, but I'm trying to do better, so I do want him to go out and have fun. 

So, on Sunday, does he get a free pass to sleep in until whenever he wants and lay on the couch all day and nurse a hangover?

[SteelCity44]

He's allowed to party, so I would say he gets until noon to be hungover. For us, that's half the day. MAYBE all the way until nap time is over if it's during the noon hour.

[katfco]

Only if he lets you have a free day sometime later.

[formerlyllizzyb]

May 31, 2013 17:38:00 GMT -5 SteelCity44 said:

He's allowed to party, so I would say he gets until noon to be hungover. For us, that's half the day. MAYBE all the way until nap time is over if it's during the noon hour.

yep. I say noon, naptime at the latest. Sorry dude, you're a dad now. No nursing a hangover for 24 hrs. And you get a free night and morning once you wean.

[muppetinma]

Whenever one of us has the night/morning off, we generally use Andrew's morning nap as the cut-off point. For instance, Wednesday was my birthday. We went out that night, stayed out late, and I had a lot to drink. DH got up with Andrew the next morning, played, fed him breakfast, etc. He put him down for a nap around 10:30. He napped until about 11:15. I had to be up by then. (for the record, I was up before he took his nap)

There are exceptions, and I don't think either of us would be butthurt if the other stayed in bed later, but I feel like that is a good, respectful compromise. I'd set parameters tonight so he knows what's expected of him tomorrow. It's not fair to you to have to parent solo because he's too hungover, and it's not fair to him for you to be upset if the terms weren't already agreed upon.

[katfco]

May 31, 2013 17:40:28 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

Nope. You are a big boy and a parent. If you are gonna do that stuff you don't get the next day to not be a dad. Or mom. It goes both ways.

I was tempted to say this, but I don't fully understand the effects of hangovers, how debilitating they are, and whether or not they're generally expected when one gets drunk.

[shevacc]

I'm another noon/after nap compromiser. With the understanding that you get your night out at some later point.

[livinreality]

May 31, 2013 18:15:09 GMT -5 shevacc said:

I'm another noon/after nap compromiser. With the understanding that you get your night out at some later point.

I think this sounds great for special occasions (like graduating) however just a normal guys night would be up and functioning as "normal" with naps during naptimes.  

[imimahoney]

I'm in the noon camp. Maybe give him a greasy breakfast sandwich to help settle his tummy. And don't forget to claim your time off!

[laurack]

Noon sounds reasonable to me too!

I feel like if one parent really felt like sleeping til noon a day for no reason they should be able to, especially when you have only one kid.

I'd probably just leave mine sleep the day away rather than listen to dramatic moaning about how he's going to die.

[christidee]

Thanks for the input, ladies. I am going to use you all as a crutch to help keep things good. muppetinma, I really liked your advice. Thanks!

As of right now, he is trying to convince his friends to take a flight to Vegas at night and catch a noon flight back. Blargh. I really hope they don't agree to that.

[bigapple]

May 31, 2013 21:08:18 GMT -5 laurack said:

I'd probably just leave mine sleep the day away rather than listen to dramatic moaning about how he's going to die.

This!

Even when he hasn't been drinking, DH regularly sleeps until 11 or noon on weekends. He has always needed more sleep than me, so I let him sleep in, and he reciprocates by taking C later so I can get out for a bit or read in peace.

[mala]

May 31, 2013 23:08:38 GMT -5 christidee said:

Thanks for the input, ladies. I am going to use you all as a crutch to help keep things good. muppetinma, I really liked your advice. Thanks!

As of right now, he is trying to convince his friends to take a flight to Vegas at night and catch a noon flight back. Blargh. I really hope they don't agree to that.

oh hell no!

[laurack]

May 31, 2013 23:08:38 GMT -5 christidee said:

As of right now, he is trying to convince his friends to take a flight to Vegas at night and catch a noon flight back. Blargh. I really hope they don't agree to that.

I probably would not allow this, at such short notice

[christidee]

He mentioned it a few days ago, but his friends said so because they lost/spent more than $30K there last time. Two of his friends are insanely, insanely rich. He is going to try to convince them again. I'm hoping they say no.

He kind of has a free Vegas pass though. Several years ago I went for NYE when he had to work a 48 hour shift over the holiday. We were married, but we didn't have a kid. I was also there for four days. However, I was also visiting family (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents).

[bigapple]

Jun 1, 2013 8:52:46 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Graduating from college is a huge accomplish in my opinion and if my H did it, I would give him the entire next day off. He deserves it. Just my opinion though. People do deserve a day off now and then, yourself included.

I completely agree.

[joyhart02]

Maybe because we have two, but my husband went out last weekend with his brother and was out until 3:00 am. He did not get a free pass, he was up with the older one when she got up. It is his choice to stay out all night and he knows what to expect in the morning.

[fusion]

I wish I was even given the option of sleeping in. H would have to rush the kids out of the house if so since the first thing J wants to do is come beat on the door and climb into bed with me. Good luck! I hope he is at least half alive tomorrow to help out.

[christidee]

Jun 1, 2013 8:52:46 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

May 31, 2013 17:35:01 GMT -5 christidee said:

Why do you struggle while he is out?

Graduating from college is a huge accomplish in my opinion and if my H did it, I would give him the entire next day off. He deserves it. Just my opinion though. People do deserve a day off now and then, yourself included.

I don't know. I trust him, but I don't trust his friends. Dh is a very, very good man though. I know I have some anxiety, and while he is out I think up crazy what if scenarios. What if he is in a car accident and dies. What if the bar he is at is the target of an armed robbery? Things that most likely all not happen.

Also, I am slightly jealous that he has friends that he can go out with. I moved here for him. I left behind all of my family and friends to be with him. I thought making friends as an adult would be easier, but it is difficult. The only friends I have are my coworkers, and I am not one for mixing business and pleasure.