Taking kids to a super fancy restaurant

[charlielove]

Next week we are going to my parent's cabin. The first couple days it will just be my sister, nephew (who's 1), mom, me, and the girls. My mom wants to take us all to a really, really nice, expensive restaurant with the kids. It is not a kid friendly place but my mom has "seen kids there before" and all of her grandchildren "behave so well when they are at restaurants". ^o) It will probably be a good 2 hours meal on top of it, because they are of course "slow" so you can enjoy your meal. I get stressed out just going to eat at a regular restaurant, so this sounds really stressful, especially without DH's help. It's a small place and people are there spending big bucks, I doubt they want to be serenaded by my cranky one year old.

I'm wondering if I suck it up and go or try to convince her to downgrade to a restaurant that isn't so fancy. I know rjamz would just put J in a diamond studded romper and go, but this kind of stuff stresses me out.

[jaime183]

I'd be more annoyed that I can't enjoy my dinner because I love to dine at nice places.
I think it would be more enjoyable for everyone involved to change the place!

[skwcm80]

I would try to convince her to downgrade. I doubt the kids would be able to sit through a meal like that, and I don't think it would be enjoyable for you guys.

[thedahliharpa]

If it is going to stress you out that alone will make the meal less fabulous. Maybe you and your sister should flip a coin and the loser watches the kids and then the winner repays the favor later.

[shevacc]

Yikes. I would try really hard to convince her to pick a more casual place. I can't see you, your sister, nor any of the kids enjoying themselves there. Not to mention that I would be so embarrassed if G disrupted the other diners in a place not meant for kids in the first place. I think you'd be super stressed the whole time and probably would have to wolf down your food to focus on keeping the girls occupied.

It sounds like your mom has unrealistic expectations/rosy memories of her grandkids at restaurants? If you can't convince her, I might call the fancy restaurant ahead of time explaining to them your situation and see if they can either talk her out of it themselves (oh no! a no kids policy!) or seat you super early and serve you really quickly.

[jaime183]

yeah, even if the kids are well behaved, I would be on edge the whole time waiting for a meltdown that it would defeat the purpose of dining at a fancy place.

sorry grandma- not your best idea although it's a nice gesture!

[rjamz]

Well obviously I would try to just reserve the entire restaurant so we were the only ones there.

But I SUPPOSE if you can't do that, I would try to see if she would consider a less fancy restaurant. I would also be on edge the whole time and J is (knock on wood) fairly well behaved in restaurants.

[muppetinma]

Don't do it. I like thedahliharpa 's idea of flipping a coin. Even if you "lose" and have to stay home with all the kids, it'll be a lot less stressful than a fancy dinner.

[charlielove]

May 31, 2013 18:10:53 GMT -5 shevacc said:

Yikes. I would try really hard to convince her to pick a more casual place. I can't see you, your sister, nor any of the kids enjoying themselves there. Not to mention that I would be so embarrassed if G disrupted the other diners in a place not meant for kids in the first place. I think you'd be super stressed the whole time and probably would have to wolf down your food to focus on keeping the girls occupied.

It sounds like your mom has unrealistic expectations/rosy memories of her grandkids at restaurants? If you can't convince her, I might call the fancy restaurant ahead of time explaining to them your situation and see if they can either talk her out of it themselves (oh no! a no kids policy!) or seat you super early and serve you really quickly.

According to my mother, we were complete angels at restaurants from birth and they got complimented constantly on our spectacular behavior.  

thedahliharpa good idea!

[ruby412]

Dinner at a fancy restaurant with a 1 year old sounds terrible! I'd definitely try to get her to downgrade, or leave your H home with the girls and go enjoy a night out with your mom.

[spaghetticat]

That sounds like torture. I agree with the coin idea. Or, volunteer to stay home with the kids and make them bring you an awesome meal.

Even if your kids are perfect, I would still be nervous about the other baby. It still reflects on you. There's just too many opportunities for chaos.

[laurack]

Nooooo I would not do this. I hate the idea of wasting money even if it isn't mine. I would consider it a waste of $ and a nice fancy meal opportunity.

Tell her you'd like to eat at friendlys and a gift card for the balance to fancy place so you can use it for a date night

[fusion]

I absolutely would not take *my* children to a place like that, and I would be pissed if I was spending big bucks and there were noisy children present (not saying yours are, but I know mine would not behave for two hours).

[nilex0102]

Yeah my mom has tried to do this and it usually is pretty stressful even if the kids behave well enough. No deterring my self centered and pretentious mother though.
I would try to change the venue or get a sitter if that's a possibility.
Also if I go to a nice place for dinner I am usually annoyed if there are kids since we got a sitter and I want to spend my time out without kids, if that makes sense.

[livinreality]

Take out? Do they do take out? I would just firmly say no, but we can go x or order in x, or you can go without us. I would rather my mom have a fit than my kid.

[nilex0102]

May 31, 2013 20:55:20 GMT -5 livinreality said:

Take out? Do they do take out? I would just firmly say no, but we can go x or order in x, or you can go without us. I would rather my mom have a fit than my kid.

This made me laugh since it has happened at my house quite a few times!

[kemangel124]

OMG that sounds so stressful. I would for sure refuse. She obviously doesn't remember you guys at all as one-year-olds, but bring them to a fancy 2 hour dinner, and I guarantee that she will have some flashbacks!  


I do like thedahliharpa's idea though.  

[charlielove]

May 31, 2013 20:46:03 GMT -5 nilex0102 said:

Yeah my mom has tried to do this and it usually is pretty stressful even if the kids behave well enough. No deterring my self centered and pretentious mother though.
I would try to change the venue or get a sitter if that's a possibility.
Also if I go to a nice place for dinner I am usually annoyed if there are kids since we got a sitter and I want to spend my time out without kids, if that makes sense.

I think our moms would get along. Sometimes mine can't see past the end of her own nose.

[biblionerd]

Ugh. NO WAY! We have our to-go containers waiting at the ready when we go somewhere quick like Noodles and Co. We don't really even do regular sit down restaurants, nonetheless an expensive fancy long one. I don't really think it's fair for her to expect them to behave for that long.

[nilex0102]

May 31, 2013 22:54:21 GMT -5 charlielove said:

May 31, 2013 20:46:03 GMT -5 nilex0102 said:

Yeah my mom has tried to do this and it usually is pretty stressful even if the kids behave well enough. No deterring my self centered and pretentious mother though.
I would try to change the venue or get a sitter if that's a possibility.
Also if I go to a nice place for dinner I am usually annoyed if there are kids since we got a sitter and I want to spend my time out without kids, if that makes sense.

I think our moms would get along. Sometimes mine can't see past the end of her own nose.

For my mom this would be about showing off her grand kids without having any empathy for everyone else including these grand kids who prefer to be somewhere else.