Post by unclejesse on May 31, 2013 19:30:42 GMT -5
I actually started the process to be an egg donor years ago while I was living in DC. I didn't follow through with it because I ended up moving away. I think it's really no different than a sperm donor. It was a nice thing to do for struggling couples, not to mention women are compensated greatly.
Post by spaghetticat on May 31, 2013 19:33:24 GMT -5
I think you are only looking at it from one side. What about the couple she is helping? Without people like her, people like them might not be able to have kids.
Post by orriskitten on May 31, 2013 19:34:06 GMT -5
I would happily do it if I were able to. My fear of needles had stopped me in the past (I contemplated it in college- I'm blonde with blue eyes and 1/2 Jewish which makes me a rare commodity), but being diabetic and needing to work with needles got me past that. Now, being diabetic, I'm sure I am not eligible.
Same with surrogacy- I'd happily do it, but I am not a candidate and even if some insane practice would let me, I'd never do that to the potential parents to be.
I've heard the courses of hormones are really intense, though, and it very definitely not without risk.
I'd do it now (if the process were easier on my body). I know I make great kids that are beautiful, smart, funny, and all-around perfect.
And yes, my kids would have a half-sibling around somewhere. I would make sure they knew what happened (so they would check it out before getting romantically involved with someone that looks suspiciously like them). As far as I'm concerned, family is more who you love than blood relation.
I'd do it now (if the process were easier on my body). I know I make great kids that are beautiful, smart, funny, and all-around perfect.
And yes, my kids would have a half-sibling around somewhere. I would make sure they knew what happened (so they would check it out before getting romantically involved with someone that looks suspiciously like them). As far as I'm concerned, family is more who you love than blood relation.
Totally.
I'm adopted so that really rings true for me.
My mother would have considered using donated eggs, but it turned out it wasn't her eggs that were the issue. It would have been a beautiful gift someone gave her.
While it is hard to imagine, I don't think side-eyeing is something I would do in this situation. Some people are like you and think how amazing it is to have a little piece of you and could not possibly imagine that little you existing somewhere outside of your family. Other people think how amazing it is to have it that they would want anyone who can't have it the normal way to be able to have it using their eggs (or sperm!) To me, it is a very personal decision and one I would definitely not judge. Some people are just wrapped differently. KWIM?
I could do it and would do it but they don't want my eggs. I look at this way, it is so damn expensive to buy donated eggs that someone who does, most definitely wants that baby with all their heart so that baby will be most likely be loved so much and live a great life.
I totally hear you guys. Really, I do. I know how thrilled and lucky that couple that are going to finally become parents are going to be. I would have a really hard time parting with something so personal, especially just for money. I would be a surrogate without a problem.
See, that's where it's completely different for me. I couldn't carry a baby for someone else, but I could fairly easily part with some genetic material. Feeling the baby kick and wiggle, dealing with all the physical pain of pregnancy, and eventually having to push that melon out would make me love the baby too much. I would feel like the baby was mine, regardless of genetics.
Idk I have thought about doing it. I don't necessarily look at it like I would have a kid running around out there. That kid is their child, not mine. I look at it is helping a couple achieve their dream of a child even if he lady is doing it for money.
I don't put as much stock in blood as a lot of people though.
See, that's where it's completely different for me. I couldn't carry a baby for someone else, but I could fairly easily part with some genetic material. Feeling the baby kick and wiggle, dealing with all the physical pain of pregnancy, and eventually having to push that melon out would make me love the baby too much. I would feel like the baby was mine, regardless of genetics.
It's amazing how different we can be I was not someone who was very into being pregnant. I never felt a connection through it. It wasn't until after she was born. I had a very easy pregnancy and would be glad to carry someone else's baby who couldn't carry their own.
Heh, yep. I absolutely hate being pregnant, so I kind of have to develop an attachment to the baby so I won't be entirely miserable the whole time.
May I ask you something super personal? I hope it is not offensive, it just genuine curiosity. Since you were adopted and raised Jewish, do you know if your birth mother was Jewish? A friend of mine married a Jewish man and she converted. She mentioned to me that it was easier for her to convert because her mother was Jewish and in the Jewish faith, they only recognize you as truly Jewish if your mother was/is Jewish. Is this true? If so, how did that affect your adoption? Does the faith make exceptions for adoption?
No problem! My birth mother was Catholic. I was converted when I was a baby and accepted it for myself at my bat mitzvah. They recognize me as truly Jewish because I converted (aside from some issues the Israeli rabbinate has had with some American conversions by certain Orthodox rabbis. Long story. They're assholes, I'm still Jewish.)
If you're born to intermarried parents, the technical law is that your religion follows your mother. So I'm not sure why your friend had to convert at all. It isn't easy to convert to Judaism. They reject you 3 times (like Charlotte in Sex and the City) and there's a lot of study involved (at least in Orthodox conversions), but once you do it, you're in There are some groups who don't want to marry converts. There are also laws in the Torah that require you to show specific kindness to converts. My BFF is an adult convert. She grew up in bumblefuck South Dakota. Now she's a Brooklyn Jew
rjamz, are you comfortable talking more about it? I'm fascinated by your story. If you want to share - have you ever had any desire to meet your birthmother? Are you siblings adopted? (Do you have siblings?) How did your parents tell you that you were adopted and when?
If you don't want to talk about it, just glaze on over this post.
rjamz, are you comfortable talking more about it? I'm fascinated by your story. If you want to share - have you ever had any desire to meet your birthmother? Are you siblings adopted? (Do you have siblings?) How did your parents tell you that you were adopted and when?
If you don't want to talk about it, just glaze on over this post.
Sure. I've always known I was adopted for as long as I could possibly know things, you know? So it was never a big deal. They told me that sometimes Hashem (God) brings mommies and daddies babies through the Mommy's tummy and sometimes Hashem sends the baby through another lady to give to mommy and daddy, and that was just another way that mommies and daddies had babies. They also told me that the other lady (my birth mom) loved me very much and wanted me to have the best life and that's why she sent me to my mommy and daddy. I was like, "ok."
My brother is also adopted (different birth mothers).
I don't want to meet my birth mom - it's a can of emotional worms I have no desire to open. I have had a wonderful life and don't feel like I missed out at all and never felt like I didn't belong, and I give my parents a lot of credit for that. I know a lot of adopted kids feel that way and that's why they search out their birth families. I know she was Catholic and unmarried and in college. I know her major and my birth father's major and her first name. That's it. I'd like an anonymous run down of what she's doing now, but it's hard to open those records without alerting her and I don't want to do that. She has never tried to contact me either and I respect that.
rjamz, thank you for sharing! Your parents did an amazing job of explaining adoption to you. I love the way they explained everything - so perfect for a child to understand and so beautifully true.
One other question - how does an infant convert to Judaism?
I could never carry a baby for someone else but I don't feel like my eggs are as big a deal. i would be happy to give a few away, I have more than I will ever need!
rjamz, thank you for sharing! Your parents did an amazing job of explaining adoption to you. I love the way they explained everything - so perfect for a child to understand and so beautifully true.
One other question - how does an infant convert to Judaism?
There's a Beit Din (a Jewish court of 3 rabbis) and my parents brought me to the mikveh (the Jewish ritual baths). They said blessings and my dad brought me into the mikveh and dunked me (he had to let go for a second so my entire body was touched by the water, but they didn't tell my mom about that part until after). I have a certificate of conversion, which is actually a pretty long legal document.
rjamz, thank you for sharing! Your parents did an amazing job of explaining adoption to you. I love the way they explained everything - so perfect for a child to understand and so beautifully true.
One other question - how does an infant convert to Judaism?
There's a Beit Din (a Jewish court of 3 rabbis) and my parents brought me to the mikveh (the Jewish ritual baths). They said blessings and my dad brought me into the mikveh and dunked me (he had to let go for a second so my entire body was touched by the water, but they didn't tell my mom about that part until after). I have a certificate of conversion, which is actually a pretty long legal document.
So interesting! Were you with your parents from birth? Was your adoption prearranged?
There's a Beit Din (a Jewish court of 3 rabbis) and my parents brought me to the mikveh (the Jewish ritual baths). They said blessings and my dad brought me into the mikveh and dunked me (he had to let go for a second so my entire body was touched by the water, but they didn't tell my mom about that part until after). I have a certificate of conversion, which is actually a pretty long legal document.
So interesting! Were you with your parents from birth? Was your adoption prearranged?
Yup. The OB who delivered me was my day's cousin who happened to have been speaking to my parents about their problems a few days before a young woman walked into his office and asked him to help find an adoptive family for her unborn baby (me!) it worked out very nicely
So interesting! Were you with your parents from birth? Was your adoption prearranged?
Yup. The OB who delivered me was my day's cousin who happened to have been speaking to my parents about their problems a few days before a young woman walked into his office and asked him to help find an adoptive family for her unborn baby (me!) it worked out very nicely
So interesting! Were you with your parents from birth? Was your adoption prearranged?
Yup. The OB who delivered me was my day's cousin who happened to have been speaking to my parents about their problems a few days before a young woman walked into his office and asked him to help find an adoptive family for her unborn baby (me!) it worked out very nicely
Wow, how amazing! Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoy hearing it!
I would donate if I didn't have PCOS and premature ovarian failure. It is an INCREDIBLE gift to give.
I also would have used donated eggs if I needed to. I went into menopause at 23 so we weren't sure what road was for us but we were preparing for everything.
So interesting! Were you with your parents from birth? Was your adoption prearranged?
Yup. The OB who delivered me was my day's cousin who happened to have been speaking to my parents about their problems a few days before a young woman walked into his office and asked him to help find an adoptive family for her unborn baby (me!) it worked out very nicely
Post by monkeybabe on May 31, 2013 21:14:59 GMT -5
I'm actually planning to look into egg donation once I have regular periods again. I'm young, with a recessive gene that some might want, and I don't intend to have any more babies unless something changes in the future. I don't see why my eggs should go to waste if some woman out there needs eggs so she can have her baby.
C25K...it works Seaside 5K...........40:45(2012) Turkey Trot..........41:30(2012)/37:08(2013)/37:40(2014) St Pat's 5K..........39:27(2013)/38:48(2014)/35:12(2015) Belair Town Run......38:09(2013)/36:27(2014) Back To Football 5K..37:36(2013)/43:44(2015) Balt Run Fest 5K.....34:59(2013)/41:50(2014)/35:54(2015)
I went almost all the way through the process to donate in my early 20s, but a girl I knew had something go wrong and ended up in the hospital for six months, so that scared me off.
I'm actually planning to look into egg donation once I have regular periods again. I'm young, with a recessive gene that some might want, and I don't intend to have any more babies unless something changes in the future. I don't see why my eggs should go to waste if some woman out there needs eggs so she can have her baby.
Is red hair the gene? Are ginger eggs more expensive on the egg market?
I'm actually planning to look into egg donation once I have regular periods again. I'm young, with a recessive gene that some might want, and I don't intend to have any more babies unless something changes in the future. I don't see why my eggs should go to waste if some woman out there needs eggs so she can have her baby.
Is red hair the gene? Are ginger eggs more expensive on the egg market?
I would think all eggs would cost the same, but, as a red haired woman that very much wanted a red haired child, had I been unable to reproduce on my own, I would have wanted a red haired donor.
Is red hair the gene? Are ginger eggs more expensive on the egg market?
I would think all eggs would cost the same, but, as a red haired woman that very much wanted a red haired child, had I been unable to reproduce on my own, I would have wanted a red haired donor.
When I applied in the DC-area, one agency paid a flat rate for all eggs, and one paid significantly more for "desirable" traits.
I started the process a few years before I got pregnant but decided to wait until after I had my own children. Now I'm nursing and will probably get pregnant in August or after then will be nursing that baby. But I will research it again after that
I donated my eggs about 10 years ago when DH and I first got together. He had a REALLY hard time with my decision, and felt very similar to you, about me having little ones running around the universe somewhere. My decision to do it was primarily centered around watching a friend in her early 30's struggle so much with fertility issues. My heart went out to her, and I had a friend who has donated several times. After talking to her, and her introducing me to the whole process, I felt good about it and looked into the process more. A friend that worked at a donation center told me about a couple that was in their 40s who had tried for years to have kids.....I learned a little bit about them and their struggle, and decided if they would like my eggs, I wanted to go forth with the donation. To this day, I wonder about those little ones (I found out they had twins), but also feel really good about the decision I made and the gift I was able to give to that family. I have two gifts of my own now, and I am probably too old to do it again. If I was a little younger, I would probably do it again.
I donated my eggs about 10 years ago when DH and I first got together. He had a REALLY hard time with my decision, and felt very similar to you, about me having little ones running around the universe somewhere. My decision to do it was primarily centered around watching a friend in her early 30's struggle so much with fertility issues. My heart went out to her, and I had a friend who has donated several times. After talking to her, and her introducing me to the whole process, I felt good about it and looked into the process more. A friend that worked at a donation center told me about a couple that was in their 40s who had tried for years to have kids.....I learned a little bit about them and their struggle, and decided if they would like my eggs, I wanted to go forth with the donation. To this day, I wonder about those little ones (I found out they had twins), but also feel really good about the decision I made and the gift I was able to give to that family. I have two gifts of my own now, and I am probably too old to do it again. If I was a little younger, I would probably do it again.
How difficult was the process? I was researching it and it mentions self injections and the like, and of course, surgery. I could do that sort of thing, though self injections vaguely skeeve me out. It's a good cause, though.