What's protocol here?

[DotAndBuzz]

Neighbors brought us cookies this weekend to welcome us to the neighborhood.  They were DELICIOUS.  They brought them over on a nice plastic tray.  I initially thought it was a cut glass deal because it was so heavy and solid, but it is plastic.  I haven't had a chance to return it yet, and am going to tomorrow (sorry if this is strike one against me, but this week has been nothing short of chaotic, I hope they understand).  I'm going to write a TY note, but do not know about the following:

1) do I return it with something on it?  I vaguely remember my mother saying something about not ever returning a dish empty, but have never had the opportunity to act on this.  Do I make them cookies?  Cupcakes?  I don't want to be rude, but I also don't want this to be a Thank you!  NO....Thank YOU!  No really, THANK YOU back and forth situation.

2) I can't remember the wife's name.  It is kind of strange, and there's no way I could guess.  Also don't know their last name.  So how do I address the card? or do I just start right in with "thank you so much for blah blah blah?"

3) I'd like to give them our numbers in case they would need anything, or have to contact us, but can't just pop over.  And I'm not sure I want people always coming over if they need to tell me something.  Is that weird?  To just give people you just met your cell phone number?  They seem SUPER friendly, and I think we'll potentially get along really well (we chatted with wine on our driveway for about 20 minutes the other night), but I don't want to be too forward.

TIA for your assistance so I don't fail as a neighbor, or cause others to whisper and point at me through their blinds. 

[Deleted]

I don't know what the official protocol would be but I would return the tray with something on it and a card. When I went over I would just say, "I'm sorry, would you mind telling me your name again? Everything has been so chaotic here with the move and all and your name has completely slipped my mind!" Or something like that. I don't know how I would address the exchanging of numbers. Our new neighbors dropped by when we first moved in and gave us theirs in case we had any questions about the neighborhood etc...

[Deleted]

I would probably return it with something other than cookies on it. What about a nice banana or strawberry (since they're in season) bread?

Go to your city/county property tax assessment web site and look up their address. You can find at least their last name that way.

I would wait on giving them your cell phone number. It sounds as if you will have plenty of opportunities.

[muffin0]

can you be a creeper and look up her name by address on a property appraiser website or something?

This is how I ended up getting spelling correct and addresses for half my wedding invites. 

I felt super weird doing it, but it was easier than calling and bugging people.

[MixedBerryJam]

Put something on the tray ... Mix brownies are fine. But your mom was right ... Never return a dish empty.

Re: the wife's name, whitepages.com is your friend. Do a neighborhood search, or whatever it's called, and it will give you everyone, if I recall how it works correctly, with a certain range on the street, like, 50 to 100 Main Street.

I always sign cards like that with my name, phone and email address, so I dont think itd be weird at all.

ETA: It's whitepages.com, select a reverse address search on your own house, and it comes up automatically with a map showing your neighbors' addresses and the adults who live there. This is a free search, btw

[goaskalice]

You've got the right advice on getting her name, and I agree something easy like brownies would be nice to return the dish. Also, I think putting your numbers in the card is a great idea. It's nice to have neighbors phone number in case something happens while they're not home and just in general.

[angelaa73]

rice krispy treats

note that reads : thank you for the treats! - your new neigbors dr & rn 867-5309

[lilybug]

Yeah I would make something easy - I've never heard of the empty dish rule, but I would feel awkward just handing over the tray. To cover for the fact that you don't remember her name, just keep the not super casual. "Thanks so much for the delicious cookies!" etc.

I don't think it would be weird to put your numbers on there. It's nice to get that formality out of the way, plus it would imply that you're interested in getting together again. If I were your neighbor and it seemed like we'd get along, I'd really appreciate you making the first move. lol

[lolc]

1. If it were me I'd just clean it and return it without something on it. I guess I am rude(?) but I have never heard of returning a dish empty as being a faux pas, especially because it could easily become one of those situations you mention "Thank you! No thank YOU!" back and forth back and forth lol.

2. I would look them up on the property appraiser's website. Maybe not use their last name but just their first names (if that's how they introduced themselves)? When my neighbors introduced themselves to me they only mentioned their first name. First names are easier to remember than last names, so if you write their last name on the note they might suspect you looked up their info, lol.

3. I see nothing at all wrong with giving them your phone number. My neighbors and I exchanged phone numbers early on. The neighbor across the street handed me a piece of paper with her full name, number and email address on it and said if I ever need anything that calling or emailing is the best way to contact them if they're not standing outside.