I'm having their baby

[Deleted]

For some reason I'm watching this show on demand.  While it is interesting, I am trying to figure out who their target audience is.  In the first episode, one of the ladies changed her mind on two different parents, and then decided to keep the baby.  It doesn't seem like this is a show potential adoptive parents should or want to watch, and it seems very emotional for birth mothers to watch also.  

Has anyone else seen this show?

I'm in no way judging anyone.  Just being curious.  

[spaghetticat]

I watched every episode. I found it really fascinating. I can't imagine giving my baby to someone else.

[DesertMoon]

I watch it whenever I see it on, I think it's interesting...I always think they're going to back out last min, but they rarely do.

[ashleydl83]

I've watched most of the episodes, I think, and it made me cry. I couldn't imagine being on either side of that situation.

[steph196]

Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart! We were very lucky, in that we didn't have a failed match. Although, after we were matched with an expectant parent, it was extremely stressful and emotional. We knew that she could change her mind at any moment. Even after the birth, we had to wait 2 weeks before we could truly connect and bond, because she still could have changed her mind.
I watched that show last season (we canceled our cable since then), and thought that it was actually a pretty good look into the emotions and struggles that come with adoption. The one thing that I hate is the title of the show. The baby belongs to the birthmother/father until all of the paperwork is signed, so I think that the title doesn't support birth parents as well as it should.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2013 23:10:29 GMT -5 steph196 said:

Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart! We were very lucky, in that we didn't have a failed match. Although, after we were matched with an expectant parent, it was extremely stressful and emotional. We knew that she could change her mind at any moment. Even after the birth, we had to wait 2 weeks before we could truly connect and bond, because she still could have changed her mind.
I watched that show last season (we canceled our cable since then), and thought that it was actually a pretty good look into the emotions and struggles that come with adoption. The one thing that I hate is the title of the show. The baby belongs to the birthmother/father until all of the paperwork is signed, so I think that the title doesn't support birth parents as well as it should.

I'm glad you weighed in! I got a couple of more episodes in, and they are getting good. I have some dear friends that are waiting to be matched. I can't imagine the emotions. Steph, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take you to get matched? From the time you finished all the paperwork?

[Deleted]

steph196 couldn't she have technically changed her mind anytime before it was finalized (so December?)

[steph196]

Jun 1, 2013 23:27:18 GMT -5 @dragonmommy422 said:

Jun 1, 2013 23:10:29 GMT -5 steph196 said:

Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart! We were very lucky, in that we didn't have a failed match. Although, after we were matched with an expectant parent, it was extremely stressful and emotional. We knew that she could change her mind at any moment. Even after the birth, we had to wait 2 weeks before we could truly connect and bond, because she still could have changed her mind.
I watched that show last season (we canceled our cable since then), and thought that it was actually a pretty good look into the emotions and struggles that come with adoption. The one thing that I hate is the title of the show. The baby belongs to the birthmother/father until all of the paperwork is signed, so I think that the title doesn't support birth parents as well as it should.

I'm glad you weighed in! I got a couple of more episodes in, and they are getting good. I have some dear friends that are waiting to be matched. I can't imagine the emotions. Steph, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take you to get matched? From the time you finished all the paperwork?

How exciting for your friends! It's a challenging road, but it will all be worth it in the end!

It took us 5 months to complete the entire application and home study process. After certification, it took 10 months before we were matched and another 2 months before she was born. It was considered a short wait, because we were given an estimated wait time of 18-24 months.

[steph196]

Jun 1, 2013 23:30:08 GMT -5 ladybug said:

steph196 couldn't she have technically changed her mind anytime before it was finalized (so December?)

No. In California, you have to foster for 6 months before it is final. That is a rule that is mainly for those who are adopting through the county. In those cases, most of the children have been taken from the parents, so they have time to clean up their act and get their child back.
In the case of private infant adoption, birthmothers sign the termination of parental rights papers within 30 days of birth. Most BMs sign in the hospital (like in our case). Once the TPR is signed, she has 14 business days to change her mind before the state acknowledges the adoption. We still have to follow the California rule of fostering for 6 months, but the only person who could have taken her away from us during that time, was the agency (if they thought we weren't doing a good job.).
This is how it works in California, but every state has their own regulations.

[Deleted]

Jun 2, 2013 10:34:26 GMT -5 steph196 said:

Jun 1, 2013 23:30:08 GMT -5 ladybug said:

steph196 couldn't she have technically changed her mind anytime before it was finalized (so December?)

No. In California, you have to foster for 6 months before it is final. That is a rule that is mainly for those who are adopting through the county. In those cases, most of the children have been taken from the parents, so they have time to clean up their act and get their child back.
In the case of private infant adoption, birthmothers sign the termination of parental rights papers within 30 days of birth. Most BMs sign in the hospital (like in our case). Once the TPR is signed, she has 14 business days to change her mind before the state acknowledges the adoption. We still have to follow the California rule of fostering for 6 months, but the only person who could have taken her away from us during that time, was the agency (if they thought we weren't doing a good job.).
This is how it works in California, but every state has their own regulations.

I see. Interesting. I think when Ian's mom adopted his brother (21 yrs ago) the birth mom was considering changing her mind when he was a few months old.. But maybe I'm remembering wrong or maybe laws have changed. I'll have to ask her!