Halp. *Updated in OP after awesome Samwell GIF*

[coribelle26]

Listen, I know I am a one-trick pony with all of this job shit lately.  Please either ignore me or try to remember the days when I was all sassy comments and no boring life drama, and how probably you owe me a little for all of those years of joy.  (lol)

Okay so to recap, I am a school counselor, I don't like it, I am leaving at the end of this month.  I was an Executive Assistant before this, it was okay, not a career for me but I liked the company.  I was hoping to go back there in a different role (HR/corporate giving/misc), and yesterday found out that they aren't going to hire someone for that but I could have my old job back if I wanted it.  I don't, I emailed him that today.  Had a minor freak-out yesterday but eventually got all geared up to start sending out resumes to colleges for admissions/academic advising/student affairs/related stuff.

So.  Today out of nowhere my principal and assistant principal offered me a different position here as Director of Admissions.  It's a job that I fucking wanted 9 years ago and couldn't get an interview.  Now everyone thinks I would be perfect for it.  They're offering a slightly higher salary, flex time, keeping summers and school holidays off.  I actually like the idea of the job itself, and obviously the schedule, but they would be getting rid of the person in the job now and I know there will be backlash from other staff members about that.  I also feel really stupid about the whole "I'm leaving!" "Just kidding, I'm working over here now!" aspect.  It's a job that doesn't technically require a master's degree which makes me feel like it's a demotion even though there's more money involved.  I kind of feel like if I was offered this job at another school I would take it in a heartbeat, but because it's here I'm hesitant.

Tell me what to do.  Life coach me.  And if you would take it, what stipulations would you ask for?  Like I already said that if I was to even consider this they would have to post the job and see who else is out there because otherwise it's just ME pushing this other person out of her job and I'm not okay with that.

Thank you in advance and I will save some of you jokers the trouble:



UPDATE:

I told my principal that I wouldn't feel comfortable accepting the job until the fall, and only if it was posted.  She told the president, who was like, "Okay forget it, we'll just keep the other person then."

So I'm back where I started, which is fine.  This week has been a fucking roller coaster though, man.

[Deleted]

TAKE. THE. JOB.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Take the job; they're probably going to get rid of the person who currently has it anyway. And if you hate it, you can quit.

Do you need an elbows-in hug from your former work crush? Would that help?

[snipsnsnails]

Why did you want to leave? (This helps me decide if you should stay.)

[Deleted]

Do you think they would get rid of her regardless?

[snickers]

Jun 4, 2013 15:39:28 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Listen, I know I am a one-trick pony with all of this job shit lately.  Please either ignore me or try to remember the days when I was all sassy comments and no boring life drama, and how probably you owe me a little for all of those years of joy.  (lol)

Okay so to recap, I am a school counselor, I don't like it, I am leaving at the end of this month.  I was an Executive Assistant before this, it was okay, not a career for me but I liked the company.  I was hoping to go back there in a different role (HR/corporate giving/misc), and yesterday found out that they aren't going to hire someone for that but I could have my old job back if I wanted it.  I don't, I emailed him that today.  Had a minor freak-out yesterday but eventually got all geared up to start sending out resumes to colleges for admissions/academic advising/student affairs/related stuff.

So.  Today out of nowhere my principal and assistant principal offered me a different position here as Director of Admissions.  It's a job that I fucking wanted 9 years ago and couldn't get an interview.  Now everyone thinks I would be perfect for it.  They're offering a slightly higher salary, flex time, keeping summers and school holidays off.  I actually like the idea of the job itself, and obviously the schedule, but they would be getting rid of the person in the job now and I know there will be backlash from other staff members about that.  I also feel really stupid about the whole "I'm leaving!" "Just kidding, I'm working over here now!" aspect.  It's a job that doesn't technically require a master's degree which makes me feel like it's a demotion even though there's more money involved.  I kind of feel like if I was offered this job at another school I would take it in a heartbeat, but because it's here I'm hesitant.

Tell me what to do.  Life coach me.  And if you would take it, what stipulations would you ask for?  Like I already said that if I was to even consider this they would have to post the job and see who else is out there because otherwise it's just ME pushing this other person out of her job and I'm not okay with that.

Thank you in advance and I will save some of you jokers the trouble:

I would take it. The pros outweigh the one con for me. People might be pissy for a little while, but they will get over it. What other people think/say about me behind my back would not be enough to stir me from accepting my dream job. Your not pushing her out, they are getting rid of her for a reason, obviously. They approached you, and obviously want you. I say go for it and best of luck!

[polka]

Don't worry about the other staff. No matter what your co-workers (may) think or say, there is a reason why they are wanting to get rid of the person currently in that position. If you want it, take it!

[Deleted]

you wanted this job. you'd take it IF it were another school. that tells me everything.

you love education/helping/kids--you just don't want to be their counselor or their teacher. duuuuuuuuuuuuude. unless you're going to bump off the principal (isn't that your dad anyway?), this is THE job for you.

[puppyluv]

You didn't ask or demand that job in order to stay; they offered it out of the blue. Take it and be happy with that awesome schedule!

[dana2006]

Everything else is just noise, but the part about them getting rid of the person who's currently holding that job is giving me heartburn. So they obviously really want to keep you in some capacity. Has the current Dir of Admissions been doing a poor job and this is just an excuse to kill two birds with one stone? The offer sounds great, but does the school have any plan to handle the backlash or are you expected to just roll with it?

[sparkythelawyer]

Take it. If they are offering this job around, they are getting rid of her anyway.

[coribelle26]

Jun 4, 2013 15:44:57 GMT -5 @booby said:

Jun 4, 2013 15:42:22 GMT -5 snipsnsnails said:

Why did you want to leave? (This helps me decide if you should stay.)

omg, snips.  lol. 

EVERYBODY ELSE IS SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THIS, SNIPS!! 

Most of what I hate is counseling-related, teachers are crazy and parents are assholes and kids are dicks to one another and I suck at managing my reactions to all that.  It's still primarily a good school and one I believe in, like I don't think I would have to lie my way through recruiting, lol.

Supposedly they are getting rid of her regardless.  This is why I want them to just let her go and then sit on this over the summer instead of making the decision (and, I guess more importantly, the announcement) to hire me.  I guess there is the possibility of them finding someone better, but honestly I feel like good for them if that's what happens.  While I don't have the luxury to NOT work or do something for no money like dollmaking, I at least feel like if it turns out no one else wants me I could always go back to the old assistant job that apparently is so hard to fill with someone who doesn't suck.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Can you just ask them not to announce it until after the summer, but accept the job now?

[coribelle26]

Jun 4, 2013 15:50:37 GMT -5 dana2006 said:

Everything else is just noise, but the part about them getting rid of the person who's currently holding that job is giving me heartburn. So they obviously really want to keep you in some capacity. Has the current Dir of Admissions been doing a poor job and this is just an excuse to kill two birds with one stone? The offer sounds great, but does the school have any plan to handle the backlash or are you expected to just roll with it?

Your last question is a good one and I don't have an answer. 

They really haven't been happy with her and apparently have all year (this was her first year) been saying that I should be doing that job, which I did kind of take on in addition to my counseling job for several months while she was on maternity leave. 

She just had a baby, did I mention that?  This is why it all feels so shitty.  And it does feel really shitty.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Jun 4, 2013 15:57:16 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Jun 4, 2013 15:50:37 GMT -5 dana2006 said:

Everything else is just noise, but the part about them getting rid of the person who's currently holding that job is giving me heartburn. So they obviously really want to keep you in some capacity. Has the current Dir of Admissions been doing a poor job and this is just an excuse to kill two birds with one stone? The offer sounds great, but does the school have any plan to handle the backlash or are you expected to just roll with it?

Your last question is a good one and I don't have an answer. 

They really haven't been happy with her and apparently have all year (this was her first year) been saying that I should be doing that job, which I did kind of take on in addition to my counseling job for several months while she was on maternity leave. 

She just had a baby, did I mention that?  This is why it all feels so shitty.  And it does feel really shitty.

Bah.  All this means is that you can't say anything about her bangs.

[Deleted]

Jun 4, 2013 15:57:16 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Jun 4, 2013 15:50:37 GMT -5 dana2006 said:

Everything else is just noise, but the part about them getting rid of the person who's currently holding that job is giving me heartburn. So they obviously really want to keep you in some capacity. Has the current Dir of Admissions been doing a poor job and this is just an excuse to kill two birds with one stone? The offer sounds great, but does the school have any plan to handle the backlash or are you expected to just roll with it?

Your last question is a good one and I don't have an answer. 

They really haven't been happy with her and apparently have all year (this was her first year) been saying that I should be doing that job, which I did kind of take on in addition to my counseling job for several months while she was on maternity leave. 

She just had a baby, did I mention that?  This is why it all feels so shitty.  And it does feel really shitty.

listen, the sisterhood is powerful blah blah blah.  but she sucked at her job.  all year.  baby, schmaby.  if THAT is what's keeping you from taking it, put it aside. 

think about if you want to do this job at this place (and edit out all your head stuff about "blah blah new mother backlash master's degree blah blah").  if the answer is yes, you take the job.  give it some time.  you don't have to know NOW.

[dana2006]

So she's a poor fit. The baby is not relevant. I like kuus' suggestion: ask them to hold the annoucement until after the summer.

[Deleted]

Is it possible that SHE is opting not to come back after maternity leave?

[coribelle26]

Uhhh yeah and cville's comment about my parents... this is part of the backstory and why I feel like my coworker relations are a little shady - both of my parents work here. My dad is a lowly religion teacher with no pull over anything but my mom is the assistant principal. She doesn't have any hiring or firing powers but she is part of the administration team. Apparently the president of the school (who was the principal for like 30 years and is the one who hired me into my current job 3 years ago) sprung this on our (new this year) principal and my mom in their admin team meeting today, and they in turn sprung it on me.

For what it's worth my mom is the one person who is like, "Hey, maybe you should really think about this before you do it" because she is the one who understands the personal/professional conundrum that I'm in. Basically she was like, I'm positive that hiring you into this job will be good for the school but I don't know that it will be good for you.

I WAS TRYING TO KEEP THIS SHORT YOU GUYS.

[coribelle26]

Jun 4, 2013 16:01:23 GMT -5 @libellula said:

Is it possible that SHE is probably opting not to come back after maternity leave?

No, she's already back since March.  This would be way preferable.

Okay btw Wrath0fKuus is providing some much needed comic relief here.  If I ever ran into awkward hug dude in real life I would actually die for real.

[Deleted]

Jun 4, 2013 16:05:49 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Jun 4, 2013 16:01:23 GMT -5 @libellula said:

Is it possible that SHE is probably opting not to come back after maternity leave?

No, she's already back since March.  This would be way preferable.

Okay btw Wrath0fKuus is providing some much needed comic relief here.  If I ever ran into awkward hug dude in real life I would actually die for real.

Damn, I was hoping you'd have an "out" there.

My other suggestion would be bribe the hell out of them with food. Women like food.

[snipsnsnails]

Jun 4, 2013 15:53:40 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Jun 4, 2013 15:44:57 GMT -5 @booby said:

omg, snips.  lol. 

EVERYBODY ELSE IS SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THIS, SNIPS!! 

Most of what I hate is counseling-related, teachers are crazy and parents are assholes and kids are dicks to one another and I suck at managing my reactions to all that.  It's still primarily a good school and one I believe in, like I don't think I would have to lie my way through recruiting, lol.

Supposedly they are getting rid of her regardless.  This is why I want them to just let her go and then sit on this over the summer instead of making the decision (and, I guess more importantly, the announcement) to hire me.  I guess there is the possibility of them finding someone better, but honestly I feel like good for them if that's what happens.  While I don't have the luxury to NOT work or do something for no money like dollmaking, I at least feel like if it turns out no one else wants me I could always go back to the old assistant job that apparently is so hard to fill with someone who doesn't suck.

Nah, @booby is just being a jerk to me. She has to get it out of her system every few months or so. Don't mind it; I roll with it.

I ask b/c I thought I had remembered you saying that the working environment, apart from your issues with your specific role, wasn't ideal. And, honestly, Dana brings up some good points about how they are going to handle this particular situation. I think that's telling in how they treat their employees, what the leadership looks like, worker morale, etc.

I guess I just feel like life is too short to work for crappy people*. I don't know if they are crappy people, but if they are, I don't know if I would buy in for even another year.

Also, no matter how they handle this, people will wonder about you getting this position as a result of your mother's position. If you feel like you can handle that, and will be there long-term enough to ride that out, go for it. But go in with both eyes open, you know.

*Oh, also I know that this is something that requires the luxury of being able to decide this, but I figure you can at least have a little time to find something else. If you can't, there's no question, take the job!

[hisno1girl]

Okay. Listen.

1. YOU are not pushing the other person out of the job. The other person isn't doing enough to retain their position.  The school has reasons why they want to let him/her go. 
2.  Don't worry about what your coworkers think. They aren't going to pay your rent if you can't find another job soon (I know you aren't in that situation, but you know what I mean). You always have the right to change your mind about leaving/switching departments.
3. See below

[glassofsyrah]

Take it. I read through all of your further explanations and I still think it's a good idea.

[jssymom14]

Quick question? Our school is required to post job opportunities for everyone to get the chance to apply but it's a public school. Is there anything along those lines that would cause issues? We hired a principal a few years ago and everyone knew who was getting the job but they still opened the position and did interviews.

[Deleted]

Yeah. It looks bad because your mom was part of the decision. People will talk. Only you know if your faction is strong enough to make it worth withstanding. I would definitely have them separate firing her and hiring you. I think you know you're getting an edge or you wouldn't be so sanguine about them hiring someone else, so your instincts that others will pick up on this are right.

[Deleted]

Take the job.

[gault]

TAKE IT

Even if you hate it, stay for a few years to have a director position on your resume. That alone will make it worthwhile. Exec assistant to director? Hell yes.

[coribelle26]

Jun 4, 2013 19:41:38 GMT -5 jssymom14 said:

Quick question? Our school is required to post job opportunities for everyone to get the chance to apply but it's a public school. Is there anything along those lines that would cause issues? We hired a principal a few years ago and everyone knew who was getting the job but they still opened the position and did interviews.

Yeah I wondered about this too and what the legal requirements are for a private school.  I would like to think that someone higher up would know that or be able to figure it out.

Either way, I talked to H forever tonight and I'm going to take another day before I say a word to principal/president, but here is where I'm leaning heavily right now: If they're going to fire the existing person, that has to be a completely stand-alone decision.  So I'm not going to take the job right now.  They have to decide if they actually want to fire her whether I'm there or not, and I feel like I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn't at least look at what else is out there.  (I picked the 12-month pay option, so even though I'm done at the end of this month, I have a normal paycheck coming in until August 15th.  I have some time on my side.)  So they take the summer and interview for the job, I take the summer and job hunt.  If they find someone better than me for the job, then good for them and I'm no worse off than I was yesterday.  If I find something better than this, then they have options from their interviews who will probably be better than the person they have now who isn't working out.  Alternately, if they decide that they would rather keep her than take the risk, then this really WAS about keeping me on staff and not about being unhappy with her, and I don't want it under those conditions.  (And, again, I'm still no worse off than I was yesterday.)

In the fall, if they haven't found someone and I haven't found something, then we talk.  If that's what happens, I'm positive that there would still be people who have something to say about it, but I feel like I could do it with a clear conscience.  Our president sprung this on my mom and the principal today with the decision already made in her head, and the two of them were like, slow your roll, here are all the reasons she's not going to want to do it.  So hopefully she will be kind of prepared for this conversation.  My mom has also been advocating for them to give the current person more time to see if she can improve her performance, which in my opinion would be the right thing to do (but neither she nor I has any control over what they ultimately decide to do). 

So yeah.  We'll see what happens.  I had to put up with a fair amount of gossip when I got hired there in the first place, and that was after proving myself with a 4 month unpaid internship and having a retiring counselor fight like hell to get me into her job, because the fact that my parents are there was the biggest thing working against me (despite the fact that the Catholic school world is REALLY small and whole families work in the same schools or affiliated schools all the time).  Now that I built up my credibility and they know I'm there on merit, I don't know if that would help in a situation like this or if it would just start up all over again.  I would rather handle it this way and have a hope in hell of mitigating the shitty circumstances even if it's a bigger risk.

Prizes for all who read!!  (gift) (gift) (gift)

[tdk2]

I read all.

I like your last post/ideas re the wait. Fuck fuck fuck to your old place not making that position. .

Maybe we should talk this over in person. Xo