I suck at parenting a toddler.

[BunnyMacDougal]

One and two were hard on us, too. Give yourself a break and just live and learn. (Sounds like you are all ready doing that, but I have no further advice. I think this is all we can do)

(((hugs)))

[pursemeatballs]

I was so not prepared when that stuff started happening around 14 months. I thought that I had until she was 2 before I had to deal with tantrums. Sorry, toddlers are really the worst.

[tulip]

My kid is almost 3 and she still does crap like this. I can't tell you anything but booze. Booze will help you!!

[Deleted]

Yeah toddler hood so far is hard and I know we're just beginning

When they flip their shits I pretty much just let it happen, especially if it's Marcus. Redirection/distraction doesn't really work for him anymore. Sometimes I get lucky with Gabriel. I just remember it's not necessarily WHAT I did, it's THEIR reaction -- you know? You can't really control it. Your job, besides keeping her safe, is just to watch for patterns.

I'm sorry

[Deleted]

Welcome to the club!!

[papie]

You don't suck, toddlers suck.

My almost 3yo still thinks it is funny to chase the cat around. Last time he bit her (not hard) and I was like "I TOLD YOU SO".

[ginap]

Toddlers are the worst. We are currently stuck in "Caroline DO" hell. No kid, actually you cannot pour the milk yourself so back off and stop screaming at me please.

[papie]

Jun 5, 2013 13:27:32 GMT -5 @booby said:

12-18 months was the WORST. but then, they are magically adorable again! still assholes, but i guess one gets used to it?

No.  They are assholes forever, they just take little breaks from it here and there.  3 is the worst.  Then 5.  OMG.  I feel like I have a monster and a teenager in the house.  Every time I try to punish Anna, she is like "Ok, whatever, no tv, I don't care. that's fiiiiine".  MAYBE I SHOULD SPANK YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU WILL CARE?


(I don't spank.  I'm just saying)

[turtle1120]

A couple weeks ago my DD (2.5) was being a holy terror around 10 on a Sunday morning. I made myself a cranberry and vodka and dealing with her wasn't such a big deal anymore. Do what you need to do to survive!

[poppyseed]

LOL, papie, you're cracking me up.

Sorry, loco. I hope it gets better! Obviously I have no advice. I am sort of dreading the toddler years, though. My niece is almost 3 and has the smartest mouth ever. She looked at my sister the other day and said "Mom? Um. You're NOT the boss of me." Yeah. She's gonna have lots of fun with that.

[litebright]

Ha! I sympathize. 

This morning my 3-YO took off her diaper and immediately peed on the hall carpet. Then instructed me, "You need to clean that up." 

WTF!!! I made her help me (i.e., rub it with a towel after I scrubbed with carpet cleaner). I understand accidents, but I feel like we're crossing into "I can do this wherever I want and you'll just take care of it" territory and I'm like WHOA. FULL STOP. 

[bugandbibs]

Jun 5, 2013 13:35:31 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Toddlerhood is natures way of preparing you for the hell that is preteen and teens. There's quite a few days that I really don't like my kids. Hormones can really make people assholes!

My life is full of win. I have a toddler and a preteen.

*sigh*

[adamantium]

Jun 5, 2013 13:30:09 GMT -5 papie said:

Jun 5, 2013 13:27:32 GMT -5 @booby said:

12-18 months was the WORST. but then, they are magically adorable again! still assholes, but i guess one gets used to it?

No.  They are assholes forever, they just take little breaks from it here and there.  3 is the worst.  Then 5.  OMG.  I feel like I have a monster and a teenager in the house.  Every time I try to punish Anna, she is like "Ok, whatever, no tv, I don't care. that's fiiiiine".  MAYBE I SHOULD SPANK YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU WILL CARE?


(I don't spank.  I'm just saying)

We had a tough time from 15-18 months, but 3 and 5 are the worse! We're at 5 now and I have no idea how I am going to survive the summer without picking up a drinking habit. 

[Deleted]

Oh I also sometimes try to think of how frustrating it must be for them to have their brains so much ahead of their abilities.

Like -- they KNOW what they want, right? But they can't a) communicate that well, b) get/do/start it themselves, or c) a combination of the two. That's insanely, insanely frustrating. It was easier on them when they were like "I really, really want OH HEY a boob."

[lolly]

I'm gonna sit here with my sweet 10 month olds and pretend I didn't read this thread.

::starts stockpiling wine::

[fivechickens]

I was thinking the same thing today as I was scolding one of them for something they did for the 1187493645 time and they just laughed and laughed at me.

[Deleted]

Jun 5, 2013 14:04:47 GMT -5 lolly said:

I'm gonna sit here with my sweet 10 month olds and pretend I didn't read this thread.

::starts stockpiling wine::

Live in delusion as long as you can and just enjoy it.

I mean... I am sure it won't be as bad for you

[Deleted]

Also, this is on FB

[cleo29]

Listen, you gotta just stand strong. Sometimes they are going to cry. Sometimes K does this when she realizes that I need to go on an errand and she will just fuss for a bit and then chills out.

I am all about picking your battles, but if shit needs to get done, I don't let my daughter dictate if it does or does not happen.

Oh and show no fear.

[cleo29]

Jun 5, 2013 14:18:40 GMT -5 Loco Coco said:

Jun 5, 2013 14:10:26 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Listen, you gotta just stand strong. Sometimes they are going to cry. Sometimes K does this when she realizes that I need to go on an errand and she will just fuss for a bit and then chills out.

I am all about picking your battles, but if shit needs to get done, I don't let my daughter dictate if it does or does not happen.

Oh and show no fear.

I gave her 10 min to chill out, looked her dead in the eye and was like "we are getting in the car now." And made that shit happen. Lol.

They're like sharks, huh? They can smell blood in the water (or tears in the alcohol?).

Definitely. lol  We will be in the car when K is crying and she is fucking LOUD and H will say, "how do you do it?" and I say, 'I've learned to ignore it.' lol

 I am hoping C will be better when she turns four, this has been a trying year. lol

[papie]

Jun 5, 2013 14:23:28 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Jun 5, 2013 14:18:40 GMT -5 Loco Coco said:

I gave her 10 min to chill out, looked her dead in the eye and was like "we are getting in the car now." And made that shit happen. Lol.

They're like sharks, huh? They can smell blood in the water (or tears in the alcohol?).

Definitely. lol  We will be in the car when K is crying and she is fucking LOUD and H will say, "how do you do it?" and I say, 'I've learned to ignore it.' lol

 I am hoping C will be better when she turns four, this has been a trying year. lol

Ha, yesterday they were both screaming bloody murder in the car when we came back from soccer so I started being all "Who is having a wonderful car ride as a family? I know I am.  We are having such a wonderful bonding time, so much love in this car" over the screams.  DH was all "um, you are even more annoying than the kids, just stop".  LOL

[circa1978]

That's exactly how you have to do it.

My H asked this morning when our 2-year-old son was going to stop being an asshole in the morning ("Not THAT shirt. That shirt. No pants. I want to hold my shoes. No. NO. NO! Not WEAR my shoes!!!") and I was all, um, I actually think he's pretty easygoing. For a toddler.

[cleo29]

Jun 5, 2013 14:26:03 GMT -5 papie said:

Jun 5, 2013 14:23:28 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Definitely. lol  We will be in the car when K is crying and she is fucking LOUD and H will say, "how do you do it?" and I say, 'I've learned to ignore it.' lol

 I am hoping C will be better when she turns four, this has been a trying year. lol

Ha, yesterday they were both screaming bloody murder in the car when we came back from soccer so I started being all "Who is having a wonderful car ride as a family? I know I am.  We are having such a wonderful bonding time, so much love in this car" over the screams.  DH was all "um, you are even more annoying than the kids, just stop".  LOL

lol I tend to just turn up the music.

[cleo29]

Jun 5, 2013 14:27:39 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

That's exactly how you have to do it.

My H asked this morning when our 2-year-old son was going to stop being an asshole in the morning ("Not THAT shirt. That shirt. No pants. I want to hold my shoes. No. NO. NO! Not WEAR my shoes!!!") and I was all, um, I actually think he's pretty easygoing. For a toddler.

And kids, like adults, are not always morning people. I took care of a little boy that needed time to "wake up" after actually waking up which meant him just chilling in his room for about 30 minutes. His mom quickly learned that it made the morning much easier.

I find the more time we have between wake up and leaving for school, the better. Right now that means at least an hour.

[Deleted]

The key is not to fear the tantrums. Just carry on as if you haven't noticed she's screaming herself hoarse and banging her head against the floor.

I'm awesome with toddlers. It's when they turn three and I have to start treating them more like human beings and less like a very nimble household pet, that I get into trouble.

[cc]

Can I join the club?

My two year old has been such a PITA. She has been wanting to do EVERYTHING herself, which I know is normal, but lord help me if I don't let her because she will not budge until I do. If I carry her from the car to the door when she wanted to walk, she will freak out until I bring her back to the car and let her walk.

Also, she is so freaking strong. I particularly hate when she stiffens her body, making it impossible for me to put her buckle her into her carseat.

[snickers]

Your the mom of a toddler, mistakes will be made! They are moody little beings and its so hard to predict their behaviour. Just when you think you has it figured out, they say fuck you and change it up again. Jerks!

[eddy]

Jun 5, 2013 13:43:30 GMT -5 adamantium said:

Jun 5, 2013 13:30:09 GMT -5 papie said:

No.  They are assholes forever, they just take little breaks from it here and there.  3 is the worst.  Then 5.  OMG.  I feel like I have a monster and a teenager in the house.  Every time I try to punish Anna, she is like "Ok, whatever, no tv, I don't care. that's fiiiiine".  MAYBE I SHOULD SPANK YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU WILL CARE?


(I don't spank.  I'm just saying)

We had a tough time from 15-18 months, but 3 and 5 are the worse! We're at 5 now and I have no idea how I am going to survive the summer without picking up a drinking habit. 

I am impressed you haven't already picked on up. I thought this was a requirement of parenting lol.

And you guys I am all (huh) over the 12-18 months sucking part. I must have forgotten about this stage. I thought they were wonderful and cherub like at this age. That is what I remember. I refuse to believe Leo will change soon. he is perfect right now.  :beer:

[Deleted]

eddy, what my MoM friends have told me and most of the ppl here validate is that it ramps up to awful at the half-birthday marks and then calms back down. So 12-18m is a hard stage w/ 18m being the hardest, then gets better until 24m when it starts to ramp up again.

Which kind of makes sense when you think developmentally. They can't really communicate well but start having language explosions around 18m -- frustration = tantrums. Then around 2 they start realizing they want more independence but can't physically do a lot (shoes, dressing, cutting food, etc), but are better coordinated etc before 3 -- frustration = tantrums. Etc.

This may all be horseshit out of my ass as told to me by others but again, seems legit to me.