Pretty sure this isn't okay.

[julez]

My boss just walked up to me in the (otherwise empty) lunchroom and asked me if I'm pregnant.  I panicked and said, "NO!"  She tried to brush it off, but I just stood there sweating and laughing awkwardly.  Then she left and I felt like an ass, so I went into her office and confessed.  I will have to tell her at some point, obviously, but for a number of reasons I was hoping to wait at least a few more weeks.  Then I figured that she would know I lied, so I figured I'd just fess up now. 

Then I started thinking... can she DO this?  I mean, as my supervisor, this has to be some kind of HR violation or something?  Ugh.

I'm just shy of 9 weeks,I look pregnant in most of my clothes. I really want to wait to share with most of the world until after the first tri screening, but by then I really thing that there's going to be no question about it anymore.  I'm anticipating many more akward encounters like this one. 

I don't really know what I'm hoping to gain by posting this, but thanks for hearing my vent.

[weelass24]

no, I don't think she can.

[Deleted]

I don't think that's illegal but it's awful rude.

N/M: Apparently it is.

[lolly]

Not OK.

[alzi]

i don't know the laws, but i know that is messed up!! sorry she bullied you into sharing your news.

[Deleted]

It definitely crosses a boundary, yes. I don't know if it is illegal though? Everyone at my office speculated when I was pregnant both times because I was a puker.

When I finally told everyone was like "Yeah, we all knew".

What was her response when you told her?

[julez]

calamity, she was really nice and congratulatory. So that was good, but I really didn't want her to know. We're making some huge agnecy-wide decisions for the next year in the coming weeks, and I'm terrified that this will influence the work they give me, for the worse.

Sidenote - how are you? I've been thinking about you and hoping you're doing okay.

[speckledfrog]

I am not a lawyer, but I don't know if it's illegal to simply ask. If she were using that information to decide on training or job opportunities then it would be illegal.

[papie]

I think she is allowed to ask, but you don't have to answer? But it is a fine line.  I'm sorry, that sucks.  Once I get pregnant I will totally start showing immediately, it was really obvious last time but thankfully it was fall/winter to I could do layers. 

[EmilieMadison]

I *think* that violates MN Employment Act...I dont think they can ask about pregnancy status unless it would directly impact your ability to perform the essential duties of your job. But I could be wrong.

Either way, she shouldn't have asked you and put you on the spot. That's pretty shitty of her.

[fuckyourcouch]

she's isn't allowed to ask you that. just like they can't ask you your religion, marital status, etc. in an interview.

i'm sorry.

[Deleted]

Jun 5, 2013 14:46:06 GMT -5 julez said:

calamity, she was really nice and congratulatory. So that was good, but I really didn't want her to know. We're making some huge agnecy-wide decisions for the next year in the coming weeks, and I'm terrified that this will influence the work they give me, for the worse.

Sidenote - how are you? I've been thinking about you and hoping you're doing okay.

Ugh, I can see why you wanted to keep things quiet.  I would love to think they won't make any decisions based on that info, but people are assholes and surprise me all the time.  GL, I hope they give you all of the good work

I am doing well, thanks.  I've been going to therapy and it's helping a lot.  The state of my marriage is in constant flux but I am trying not to react and just keep calm.  My kids are awesome and I have a good job so no matter how the cards fall I will be fine.

How are you feeling?  Is the eating at night helping?

[melindafelinda]

Hey look. My class was not worthless.

[Tacocat]

No, she can't ask that question. How awkward for you!

[emptygee]

I would be very surprised if it was actually illegal for her to simply ASK if you're pregnant. To treat you differently because of your pregnancy, yes. But just asking is just extremely rude and stupid, but I don't think it's illegal in and of itself.

If I am wrong I would appreciate a link to the actual law that is being broken.

[pinkeggs]

I was told that they can't even ask you in interviews if you have/want children or are pregnant.

[emptygee]

Jun 5, 2013 15:07:07 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

I was told that they can't even ask you in interviews if you have/want children or are pregnant.

But that's because they might use that info to make a hiring decision. She already has a job.

[soleil]

Jun 5, 2013 15:07:07 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

I was told that they can't even ask you in interviews if you have/want children or are pregnant.

They can ask, but it is illegal for them to make decisions based on your answers, so its dumb for them to ask because they can't use your answers in any way.

www.askamanager.org/2008/07/illegal-interview-questions.html

[pinkeggs]

Jun 5, 2013 15:09:13 GMT -5 emptygee said:

Jun 5, 2013 15:07:07 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

I was told that they can't even ask you in interviews if you have/want children or are pregnant.

But that's because they might use that info to make a hiring decision. She already has a job.

Oh, I know, I guess I just kind of figured it was all employment-related regarding what is and what isn't appropriate (or legal).

[angelaa73]

It's odd but legal! Also legal for you to ask her 'why do you ask?'

[angelaa73]

Jun 5, 2013 15:22:41 GMT -5 angelaa73 said:

It's odd but legal! Also legal for you to ask her 'why do you ask?'

in place of an answer

[MWOS]

HR advises against asking this

[trafficgirl]

Ack! julez, that sucks. I ended up telling people sooner than I wanted to also, but not because they started asking. More because I was freaking out and having a ton of Dr appts.

And we've got our performance reviews/salary adjustments coming up, which I didn't want to tell people beforehand because I didn't want it to have an impact on anything. Oh well.

I hope everything turns out fine and you get the work you want.

[emptygee]

Jun 5, 2013 15:30:07 GMT -5 toledo said:

It's illegal for an employer to ask, and most smart employers would avoid it anyway, because it opens them up to legal questions later of the employee perceives herself to be treated unfairly in any way.

Link to text of the law?

[Deleted]

No, it's not illegal to ask. It's illegal to make employment decisions based on your answer. If you were up for a promotion and suddenly you are no longer being considered, or if you get fired soon without any prior documented problems, or if you were applying for a new job with this supervisor, then it would be illegal.

It's probably good sense for an employer not to ask this sort of question, but there is nothing illegal about it.

[snickers]

Definitely not okay.

[julez]

Jun 5, 2013 15:22:41 GMT -5 angelaa73 said:

It's odd but legal! Also legal for you to ask her 'why do you ask?'

I wish that I was more on the ball and not so naturally flutered by situations like this.  This is what I SHOULD have said.

[hopecounts]

Not illegal but since it opens them up to lawsuits if you believe you are treated unfairly due to it most HRs strongly advise against asking an employee this question.
And you are under no obligation to answer since employers are not entitled to health info unless it affects your ability to work. So yes "why do you ask" "why do you want to know" etc is fine.