WTF was I thinking?

[missbetty1]

I saw my ex today and he looked a mess! I was never physically attracted to him but OMG I didn't realize he looked as bad as he did...WTF?! My girlfriend was with me and I asked her did he looked the same as he did when I was with him or worse? She said "worse"... well that made me feel a little better because I was about to go to the ER to get my head checked out LOL...When I broke up with him one of my family members said to me " I was wondering when you were going to wake up" Now I know what she meant...smdh

[cemacmil]

I feel the same way! He is not even really attractive and has always had sunken eyes from doing way too much bad stuff. Like a perpetual hangover. I too feel like, WTF on that one sometimes too - you are not alone ^o)

[missbetty1]

Good to know I'm not alone..it's crazy right?! Like I know for an absolute fact that I wasn't just compromising I was friggin settling! No more doing that crap...what do you guys say on here "onward and upwards"?

[gozf]

Wait. You were NEVER physically attracted to him? Never ever??

[missbetty1]

Jun 13, 2012 8:34:15 GMT -5 gozf said:

Wait. You were NEVER physically attracted to him? Never ever??

Nope...and so the reason for my siggy it reminds me that I've gotta make better decisions lol

[gozf]

Jun 13, 2012 8:58:33 GMT -5 @missbetty1 said:

Jun 13, 2012 8:34:15 GMT -5 gozf said:

Wait. You were NEVER physically attracted to him? Never ever??

Nope...and so the reason for my siggy it reminds me that I've gotta make better decisions lol

Ok. I'm having trouble with this. I'm not trying to be rude, I just can't wrap my brain around the concept of marrying someone I wasn't at all attracted to. Clearly attraction isn't everything, but it's definitely an integral part of a relationship. Why'd you marry the guy in the first place?

[doriswe]

Jun 13, 2012 9:09:13 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jun 13, 2012 8:58:33 GMT -5 @missbetty1 said:

Nope...and so the reason for my siggy it reminds me that I've gotta make better decisions lol

Ok. I'm having trouble with this. I'm not trying to be rude, I just can't wrap my brain around the concept of marrying someone I wasn't at all attracted to. Clearly attraction isn't everything, but it's definitely an integral part of a relationship. Why'd you marry the guy in the first place?

I'm also in this camp!

[missbetty1]

Jun 13, 2012 9:09:13 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jun 13, 2012 8:58:33 GMT -5 @missbetty1 said:

Nope...and so the reason for my siggy it reminds me that I've gotta make better decisions lol

Ok. I'm having trouble with this. I'm not trying to be rude, I just can't wrap my brain around the concept of marrying someone I wasn't at all attracted to. Clearly attraction isn't everything, but it's definitely an integral part of a relationship. Why'd you marry the guy in the first place?

I didn't marry him...we were engaged...that was one of the reasons why I called off the wedding...I was trying to "not be superficial" but what I ended up realizing is that what I viewed as "not being superficial" was all wrong. I now am VERY well aware that there must me some type of physical attraction to keep a relationship going...
one of my first posts "may" explain why I stayed a little better:

pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=so&thread=894&page=1

[doriswe]

Still struggling with this concept....I couldn't get into a relationship with someone I didn't have a strong desire to bang, kwim?

[missbetty1]

Jun 13, 2012 9:25:59 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Still struggling with this concept....I couldn't get into a relationship with someone I didn't have a strong desire to bang, kwim?

Yeah I know...I didn't really ever want to bang him but his oral skills were spectacular so it would always lead to me banging him in the end...sorry TMI

[doriswe]

Jun 13, 2012 9:28:29 GMT -5 @missbetty1 said:

Jun 13, 2012 9:25:59 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Still struggling with this concept....I couldn't get into a relationship with someone I didn't have a strong desire to bang, kwim?

Yeah I know...I didn't really ever want to bang him but his oral skills were spectacular so it would always lead to me banging him in the end...sorry TMI

At least you're honest!!

[cemacmil]

Jun 13, 2012 9:09:13 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jun 13, 2012 8:58:33 GMT -5 @missbetty1 said:

Nope...and so the reason for my siggy it reminds me that I've gotta make better decisions lol

Ok. I'm having trouble with this. I'm not trying to be rude, I just can't wrap my brain around the concept of marrying someone I wasn't at all attracted to. Clearly attraction isn't everything, but it's definitely an integral part of a relationship. Why'd you marry the guy in the first place?

In my case at first he reminded me a bit of someone who I was very attracted too and at the time took better care of himself at first...then add in manipulation, abuse, control, and polysub abuse on his part and get insecure youngin' marries not so good looking psyco.

[doriswe]

I was definately attracted to my XH initially but now find him less attractive because of the drama attached to him. I don't think I would have made it past the first few dates if I hadn't had a physical attraction to him right off the bat.

[missbetty1]

Jun 13, 2012 9:37:03 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

Been there. First LT bf - big learning lesson for me. There has to be some sort of chemistry even if you don't think he's drop dead. Just something. We all learn in the journey called life. :-)

Right...we had some chemistry...

[letyourselfgo]

My Ex-H wasn't very good looking. Still isn't. So, I can see how you could be with someone you weren't attracted to.

My Ex-FI, OTOH, was a raging, gorgeous hottie. Who didn't believe that he was really that hot. Seriously. One of the other guys that I dated on and off for eighteen months and wanted to marry was almost his Hispanic twin. Same build, same kind of hair, same kind of style. The more I think about it, the similarities between them are eerie.