Intro post xp from tn

[franceshouseman]

My H and I have been having issues for a long time and in December we seperated for a short period of time. We got back together and nothing has changed. I am finally at a point where I have realized I can't live my life being miserable and trying to be who he wants me to be, because no matter what he's never going to be happy.

I'm pretty scared since I just started a job as a real estate agent and at this point I have no income coming in. I am most likely going to have to move back in with my parents until I get on my feet.

Right now, I'm trying to save up some money to have just in case before I file separation papers in the next few weeks. Any advice or words of wisdom for me? TIA

[bullygirl979]

Glad you decided to follow the bread crumbs over! Welcome!

First of all, don't worry if you need to move back in with your parents. I moved back in with my mom for a while. You do what you have to do.

Second, have you consulted a lawyer? If not, I would do so ASAP.

Third, are you in therapy? If not, I would recommend this too. Getting divorced is listed as one of the top 3 stressors that will happen in your life. It can be very, very hard at times.

Fourth, post on here whenever you want! The ladies (and JM) are great!

[franceshouseman]

Thanks for the welcome.

I have contacted an lawyer to ask questions and I'm trying to find one to use.

I'm not in therapy, but thanks for the suggestion. I'm already stressed out and it's just beginning.

[bullygirl979]

Yeah, therapy helped me A LOT. It made me feel like I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I was feeling. If you do decide to get therapy, understand that finding a good therapist is like finding an SO or a friend. It may take changing a few times before you find a good fit.

Oh, other advice. Please don't date anytime soon. So many women (me included) jumped in way too quickly and it was a huge mistake. Take this time to heal so you CAN be ready for your next relationship.

There are a few other posters on here currently who are in the midst of a divorce so I am sure they can relate as well!

[usedtobebear]

I'm recently going through this, haven't filed yet so also int he beginning stages. I go to counseling every week which definitely helps. I did meet with a lawyer and got some good advice, not sure if I will retain her or how this will play out. Writing in my journal is really helping to get my thoughts out and going back and re-reading older entries helps me to know I'm making the right decision, , "Getting past your breakup" was recommended by a few ladies on this board so I purchased it and also really liked it. Good luck, it helps to read this board and know eventually we can start over and have a happier life. I so look forward to just being alone/single and not having to feel like I have to take care of someone else.

[compassrose]

Good luck! It's a terrifying thing to do. And telling everyone sucks, every time. But you have to listen to yourself. And keep remembering that you listened to yourself and you are doing the right thing every time you have a bad day. A good support network is gold, and if you don't have one IRL, this is a great group of ladies (yes, and JM).

[letyourselfgo]

OP, I have to say......I LOVE your user name.

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner".

Now I want to watch Dirty Dancing when I get home from work!