Random Mystery

[Deleted]

I'm not sure how on earth we would know what happened to your SIL?

[Deleted]

Has he asked her directly where she was and what's going on? Has he told her that he is worried about her?

[naeljun]

As far as I am concerned, they are husband/wife and should communicate about things.

[gozf]

Wait, so she wasn't where she was supposed to be, she came home late, crying,and refuses to say where she was, what she was doing and why she's upset?

Sounds like someone's got a case of the guilts....

[Deleted]

Jun 20, 2013 11:13:50 GMT -5 naeljun said:

As far as I am concerned, they are husband/wife and should communicate about things.

Yep, this is where I am too.

[Deleted]

I saw ashamed or traumatic. My friend who was raped had a similar non communications reaction.

[starburst604]

She's suspect.

[callunafirefly]

Her boyfriend dumped her.

[starburst604]

Jun 20, 2013 11:25:33 GMT -5 callunafirefly said:

Her boyfriend dumped her.

That's what popped in my head.

[jm5855]

Jun 20, 2013 11:16:57 GMT -5 gozf said:

Sounds like someone's got a case of the guilts....

100% my first thought as well.

Affair, abortion, whatever.  I hope your brother gets some answers.  My initial worry would quickly morph into annoyance with a spouse who wouldn't tell me what happened.

[stephreloaded]

Jun 20, 2013 11:24:01 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I saw ashamed or traumatic. My friend who was raped had a similar non communications reaction.

This is my first reaction too. 

Hopefully nothing bad happened to her!

[Deleted]

Jun 20, 2013 11:26:44 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Jun 20, 2013 11:24:01 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I saw ashamed or traumatic. My friend who was raped had a similar non communications reaction.

This is my first reaction too. 

Hopefully nothing bad happened to her!

Yea my mom actually had a similar reaction when she found out she had a tumor. Was going to the doctor behind everyone's back and then couldn't talk about it for a few days. In these type of cases I can forgive the lack of communication.

[jojoandleo]

Had she been crying when she got home, or did she start crying when she got home and saw her H? I think it could be something traumatic happened. I also think she could have been doing something she felt was slightly inappropriate (hanging out with a flirty coworker) and something bad happened and she feels guilty about it, OR the whole thing could be her being shady.

I feel like if she came home, saw her H, and THEN started crying-it's more likely guilty, but anything is possible. Hope your brother gets some answers soon.

[Muddled]

I am stuck here:
Your brother is not FB friends with his wife?

[jm5855]

Jun 20, 2013 11:33:52 GMT -5 jade28 said:

Yeah my thoughts immediately went to maybe something traumatic happened or she is involved in something suspect. My bro seemed to think initially it was work related but idk. In the past, she has talked easily about work stuff. I am worried for her but also annoyed for him because he is just so worried and has no idea what to do. Obviously she was pretty upset b/c my brother rarely asks for help and sounds so devastated.

This sucks for your brother.  He loves her and because of this he is likely giving her the benefit of the doubt in that she did not do anything shady and is presuming that something bad happened to her.  He is worried, has no answers, and is now left with that hard to describe pain in his gut and chest.

I gave my exwife the benefit of the doubt even though my friends told me I was being ignorant.  They tried to open my eyes but I foolishly believed in her.  Looking back I am not sure if I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I loved her or I was too scared what would happened to our family if I learned the truth. 

[Deleted]

Jun 20, 2013 11:41:05 GMT -5 Muddled said:

I am stuck here:
Your brother is not FB friends with his wife?

Yeah what??

[cuddlyevil]

Jun 20, 2013 11:47:54 GMT -5 doglove said:

Jun 20, 2013 11:41:05 GMT -5 Muddled said:

I am stuck here:
Your brother is not FB friends with his wife?

Yeah what??

I'm not FB friends with DH, but he doesn't have an account (we're lucky he cared enough to figure out e-mail).

I'm almost leaning toward something traumatic happened, maybe a friend called her for help/support and she was really shaken up? But since she's shut down completely, it may be guilt too.

Regardless, he needs to ask her directly about what's going on--no more pussyfooting around.

[mcc]

She must have been riding a unicorn and passed a terrible fire that burned up a nursing home/puppy adoption center killing all occupants and glitter inside.

That's the only explanation I can think of.

[achase123]

I think it's pretty crappy she had to leave town and STILL wouldn't tell him. Whatever it is that happened to her, he has the right to know. I'd be going CUH-RAZY if that was my spouse.

[locarb]

She prob talked to my mom. That woman can piss anybody off and make them cry.

[Deleted]

Well, he came home early to surprise her and she wasn't where she was supposed to be...no explanation??  And 2 weeks away, alone for a conference.  This is shady.  I don't understand how spouses could lack communication like that (her, not him). 
Hope you fill us in if he finds out what's up.  To me it sounds like guilt.

[MixedBerryJam]

Jun 20, 2013 18:06:35 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Well, he came home early to surprise her and she wasn't where she was supposed to be...no explanation??  And 2 weeks away, alone for a conference.  This is shady.  I don't understand how spouses could lack communication like that (her, not him). 
Hope you fill us in if he finds out what's up.  To me it sounds like guilt.

I don't have the skills to assess trauma vs guilt, but I'm totally not buying a 2-week conference. Never heard of such a thing! Maybe possibly two back-to-back conferences, but I think that's grasping at straws, too.

ETA: Eh, maybe. I googled "2-week conference" and the first thing that came up was  a UN conference (in 2012, but still, this says it's a possibility.) I still don't think she's at a two-week-conference.

[Deleted]

Jun 20, 2013 11:58:03 GMT -5 mcc said:

She must have been riding a unicorn and passed a terrible fire that burned up a nursing home/puppy adoption center killing all occupants and glitter inside.

That's the only explanation I can think of.

Noooooo! Not the glitter! It was so young!

[janedoe]

Jun 20, 2013 23:04:56 GMT -5 liubot said:

Jun 20, 2013 11:58:03 GMT -5 mcc said:

She must have been riding a unicorn and passed a terrible fire that burned up a nursing home/puppy adoption center killing all occupants and glitter inside.

That's the only explanation I can think of.

Noooooo! Not the glitter! It was so young!

Ahahaha! Not only do I love mcc's post but I heart your response too!

[GilliC]

Jun 20, 2013 19:36:52 GMT -5 inara said:

Can I just be nit-picky for a second?

What's with the "where she was supposed to be" bit? If he texts her and she says she's at home and then she isn't, yeah, that's weird. But if I think my H/SO is at work and I'm at home and I want to go out to dinner or run to the store or whatever, I'm not necessarily going to let them know I left the house. I don't think that part is weird at all.

I agree this could use some clarification.  I try to keep my Google calendar up to date because of our LDR, and yesterday, SO tried to call me from the airport but I wasn't home.  He was confused, but it wasn't a big deal.  My friend with a recent baby was out walking him in his pram and invited me to join them for dinner.  Since I was going to be home alone, I accepted.  If SO and I lived together, even if he wasn't going to be home, I would try to remember to let him know if I would be gone for a while, but I'm terribly forgetful.  And if I was going to be home before he got back, I probably wouldn't bother.

[Deleted]

Sadness, fear/anxiety, and crying sounds like rape. Sadness, anger, and crying sounds like her boyfriend dumped her.