Is DH's behavior appropriate?

[muppetinma]

DH's cousin came and stayed with us last night. She's from Jackson, Mississippi but had to go to the Dutch consulate to renew her passport. (Dual citizenship) I was going to take Andrew to gym class at 8:45, but she didn't have to leave until 9:45 to make her appointment. DH knew I was going to gym this morning. And yet, he's still in bed. Yeah, it's technically his morning to sleep in, but am I wrong to think that's weird when he's got family in town? I ended up not going to class because I thought it weird to leave her in the house entertaining herself while DH snored away upstairs. FWIW, she's leaving from her consulate appointment to head straight back to Miss, so it's not like he would have seen her afterwards. . . . .

I'm not really mad at him.  I just think it's odd.  But, his family does things differently than mine, so I don't know if it's just me.  

[laurack]

elbow to the ribs is what mine would get in that situation

[dixeedeluxe]

In my family, this would be fine.

Did you try to wake him up? If I was uncomfortable, I just would've woken him up.

[laurack]

but yes I would probably have to wake him, no way he would wake on his own. But he WOULD wake. haha

[rubber pants]

Ummm yea, I'd be slightly annoyed.

Whenever I have family stay over, I am up early to make them breakfast and make sure they are well taken care of. I would never sleep in.

[unclejesse]

I think it's rude, but I wouldnt have canceled my plans bc my husband is being a bum.

[ruby412]

I definitely think this is odd. But, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men are like children and often need things spelled out for them with specific expectations. If it were me, I probably would have discussed it with H the night before and told him that I planned to go to the gym class so he would need to get up and hang with his cousin.

I learned long ago not to expect the H to go above and beyond when it comes to things like this... sigh...

[fryjack2]

I vote weird. Why didnt he at least wake up to say goodbye to her? Did he realize what time she was leaving?

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 9:06:37 GMT -5 unclejesse said:

I think it's rude, but I wouldnt have canceled my plans bc my husband is being a bum.

This. And that is exactly what I would be saying to my husband while turning on all the bedroom lights.

Other people do things differently, though, so maybe not weird in your house.

[skwcm80]

It depends on how close he I was to the family member. He would probably wake up early if it a distant cousin or something.

I'm usually up early no matter what to make breakfast or something,

[muppetinma]

Like I said, I'm not mad. I just thought it was weird.

But it works out in the end, because she broke down and admitted she was KUed. The reason she had to leave right after her consulate appt. is because she had to go have her first OB appointment back in Jackson. It's very exciting and worth missing the gym. I know before either sets of grandparents-to-be.

[devonpow]

I personally think that is rude. Ill go a step further and say I wouldn't sleep in like that for any houseguest, so say it was DH's cousin who he was not close to staying with us, not only would HE definitely get up, but so would I.

My kid wakes at 5:30 so I guard my sleep in time viciously, but I would still get up with any houseguest.

[jfh]

Jun 24, 2013 9:06:37 GMT -5 unclejesse said:

I think it's rude, but I wouldnt have canceled my plans bc my husband is being a bum.

This, although it may not be rude in his family. I've learned that DHs friends and family do things differently than mine, and I have to just roll with it or I drive myself crazy. If it's his houseguest, I let him decide if he wants to make a nice breakfast vs. telling them where to find the cereal. If it's my houseguest, I make the nice breakfast. Technically they're all OUR houseguests, but things go better if I let go of personal responsibility for his people.

But, I'm glad you stuck around so you could hear her big news! Exciting.

[kemangel124]

Jun 24, 2013 9:07:08 GMT -5 ruby412 said:

I definitely think this is odd. But, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men are like children and often need things spelled out for them with specific expectations. If it were me, I probably would have discussed it with H the night before and told him that I planned to go to the gym class so he would need to get up and hang with his cousin.

I learned long ago not to expect the H to go above and beyond when it comes to things like this... sigh...

I bow down to you Ruby!  You are so right!  

Muppet-  I also think it is rude, but understand that different families do different things, so I get why you are questioning it.  I think it is rude because she is LEAVING after the meeting and not coming back.  He should be awake to say goodbye at least, but in my opinion he should be up while you are gone and be the "host" of the house.

Men are so damn weird.

[UnicornDog]

It seems a little strange to me.

[eav2c]

That is weird and unacceptable behavior, IMO. He should get up and see his relative off and allow you to make your class.

[muppetinma]

I'm taking back my previous statement about not being mad. I was slightly peeved, but thought it was just me. But since he's gotten up, DH has been a lazy, whining PITA. Since his cousin was sleeping in Andrew's nursery on the pull-out, the room needed to be put back together before naptime. DH offered to do it. He's mentioned it three times, and I've asked about it twice. He still hadn't done it. I just went and did it myself instead. Now DH is all pissy because he said he'd do it. I told him that I didn't want to wait until Andrew was flipping his lid to start the process of folding up the couch, throwing the linens in the laundry and getting his crib all back together. I also didn't think that I should have to ask him three times to do something he offered to do.

Apparently that is all my fault. So yes. Now I'm mad.

[jfh]

Also, he shouldn't "offer" to put the room back in order. That should be a given. Grrrr.

[bigapple]

Jun 24, 2013 9:09:14 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

I wouldn't sleep in with a family member visiting. That is kind of rude.

I think it's really rude to sleep in when you have a guest who is up, family or not.-