Moms - should I belive my kid?

[julez]

On Wednesday it was really hot and I think that DD got overheated and a bit dehydrated.  She was flushed, hot, sweaty, and said (for the first time in her life) that she had a headache.  We did all of the usual things to cool her down, but she ran a low-grade fever that night.  We kept her home on Thursday and I called her doctor.   The dr said that we did everything right and said she didn't need to see her unless she still had a headache the next morning. 

Since then she has been herself, normal urine output, I've been shoving fluids into her like crazy since it has still been hot outside.  When I ask her, "do you feel all better?" she will tell me, "no, my head still hurts."  She has this little, whiny, I-want-extra-love-and-treats voice that she uses to tell me.  I asked her the next day to point to where her head hurts, and her hand kind of wandered around her head and then she pointed to the back of her head, not the forehead where it hurt on Weds/Thursday.   She only mentions that her head hurts if I ask her directly, until this morning, and she mentioned it in the car on the way to school.  I have been adding a splash of flavored Pedialyte to her water bottles to encourage her to drink, and she's sucking it right down.  I almost think that she's telling me this because she wants the flavored water and is afraid that if she feels better, I'll stop giving it to her. 

I know that I should just call her doctor, but here's the shitty mom thing: I know that they are going to tell me to bring her in, and, frankly, I am about 85% sure she is making this up.  Our insurance suuuuuuucks, and it's going to cost a couple of hundred dollars for them to tell me that she's fine.  At the same time, if she isn't, I will feel like an asshole.   She is otherwise behaving completely normally. 

I suppose this is half vent/ half what would you do? 

[Deleted]

How old is she?

[anlo]

Hmm. How old is she?

[Deleted]

I wouldn't bring her in. She has no fever, right?

[thebuddhagouda]

I generally operate under the assumption that if he is otherwise behaving completely fine and only complaining when I directly ask him or when he realizes that complaining gets him a special treat, he is probably fine.

If she were showing any other symptoms, I would say take her in but with what you've said I would just keep an eye on her and stop asking her if her head hurts to see if she mentions it again on her own.

[EmilieMadison]

Aww
I think that, at this point, if she's otherwise her typical self, she's probably just saying "yes" because she might get something out of it. Unless she's acting off or starts complaining of a headache and it's interfering with things she enjoys, the I'd probably just continue to give her water (and pedialyte if you want!) and not worry about it.

[cuddlyevil]

Stop asking her if her head still hurts, just wait and see if she mentions it. Otherwise, if she is showing no other symptoms--just keep an eye on her.

[anlo]

Jun 24, 2013 10:33:55 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

I generally operate under the assumption that if he is otherwise behaving completely fine and only complaining when I directly ask him or when he realizes that complaining gets him a special treat, he is probably fine.

If she were showing any other symptoms, I would say take her in but with what you've said I would just keep an eye on her and stop asking her if her head hurts to see if she mentions it again on her own.

This is what I would do.

[julez]

Jun 24, 2013 10:33:02 GMT -5 @pixiechinchilla said:

How old is she?

Sorry, she's 3.5.

[julez]

Jun 24, 2013 10:35:00 GMT -5 jamie.1022 said:

Not sure if this is the right thing to do, but do you think if you told her she has to see the doctor if her head is still hurting that she would then feel better?

She LOVES her doctor.  Crazy kid.   So this would be another "treat" for her.

I stopped asking on Saturday night if her head hurts, and she mentioned it on her own this morning.  I'm guessing it's because today is her first day back at school since the headache, and we had a really fun weekend.  She's probably sad that life is going back to normal and the pampering/fun is over. I'll stop asking and just keep an eye on her.

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 10:38:08 GMT -5 julez said:

Jun 24, 2013 10:33:02 GMT -5 @pixiechinchilla said:

How old is she?

Sorry, she's 3.5.

Hmm. At that age, I'm going to agree with everyone else about keeping an eye on her, but you might consider just giving your doctor a call to check in and let them know. They may be able to recommend things to continue to look for, just in case she isn't making it up.

[julez]

pixie... I might just give the nurse line a call if she mentions it on her own again. I'm dreading the "how long has she said she has a headache?" question, because I'll have to say, "um... for about 5 days. BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE HER AT FIRST!" I'm sure that will sound lovely.

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 10:45:08 GMT -5 julez said:

pixie... I might just give the nurse line a call if she mentions it on her own again. I'm dreading the "how long has she said she has a headache?" question, because I'll have to say, "um... for about 5 days. BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE HER AT FIRST!" I'm sure that will sound lovely.

Haha. Yeah, but if you pair it with, "She's acting completely normal and only mentioned it when I asked her, until this morning," it won't sound so bad.

[KKD]

I would stop asking and switch back to regular water, and see if she complains about it again without asking for a special drink. If she's still complaining on her own tomorrow, I would go ahead and call the nurse or schedule an appointment.

I have drilled it into my girls' heads that we have to drink lots of water when it's hot outside, so I'll say, "Remember, we have to stay..." and they'll respond, "Hydrated!" They get a kick out of it. I'm sure it helps that there's a Doc McStuffins episode about it, too.

[hopecounts]

I'd see how she does at school today.
If she's behaving normally there and doesn't mention it this evening I'm going to go with she's playing it up to get flavored water.

Maybe try offering flavored water as a treat for doing something else and see how she responds (pick up all your toys, or some other activity she wouldn't normally cooperate with quickly) and see what she does. If it's just for the flavored water she'll jump right on doing it if she's really still hurting she will probably drag her feet.

[Gato]

My kid wasn't smart enough at 3.5 to lie like that. There are a few times when I thought she was making an ailment up, and it turned out to be true, and I felt like an asshole. For example, she says she's feeling sick in the car; I think she's just nervous about school, and then she throws up an hour later.

If I were you, I'd keep an eye on it. Not bring her in today, and stop the Pedialyte in case that's what's motivating her. But if she still has a headache tomorrow or two days from now, I would definitely have it checked out.

[thebuddhagouda]

Jun 24, 2013 11:13:21 GMT -5 Gato said:

My kid wasn't smart enough at 3.5 to lie like that. There are a few times when I thought she was making an ailment up, and it turned out to be true, and I felt like an asshole. For example, she says she's feeling sick in the car; I think she's just nervous about school, and then she throws up an hour later.

My kid turned 3 three weeks ago, and unless he is magically getting a stomach ache every night at exactly 7:25 p.m. he is definitely smart enough to attempt to make up illnesses to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do (such as going to sleep).

[juliahenry]

My 3.5 yo would definitely feel delicate if I kept asking how she was feeling. Not quite made up, but kind of...suggestible.
She would also recover nicely if I gave her "medicine," especially if it didnt taste all that great.

[bella427]

My DD is a bit of a drama queen. She's 5. She also loves going to the doctor. I'll say something like, "It's too bad your head is still hurting; we were supposed to go to the bouncy castle (insert fun activity here) today but you should probably just stay in bed and rest. She usually declares immediately, "Actually I'm feeling much better!"

[livinitup]

I wouldn't bring a child that is behaving completely normally with no fever to the doctor. DD always reports symptoms well after they have cleared.

[adamantium]

Ok, so DS was complaining of headaches for a while so I started to write down when he mentioned them. Then jot down notes about her sleep or diet, see if there is a pattern. He is a a bit dramatic so I really didn't believe him but with a family history I opted for caution.

His behavior stared to change a little so I took him to the doctor and then he had a neuro consult. When I say his behavior changed, I mean sluggish and began waking up screaming that his head hurt. My notes were used to look over things (it is what they'd ask you to do anyway). He passed everything and they think it was viral but with his behavior and my history I was a bit cautious.

In the absence of other symptoms I wouldn't be too concerned, esp at 3. DS can remember my made up knee medicine from when he was 2. She knows a hurt head equals something she wants.

[UMaineTeach]

Jun 24, 2013 11:18:18 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

Jun 24, 2013 11:13:21 GMT -5 Gato said:

My kid wasn't smart enough at 3.5 to lie like that. There are a few times when I thought she was making an ailment up, and it turned out to be true, and I felt like an asshole. For example, she says she's feeling sick in the car; I think she's just nervous about school, and then she throws up an hour later.

My kid turned 3 three weeks ago, and unless he is magically getting a stomach ache every night at exactly 7:25 p.m. he is definitely smart enough to attempt to make up illnesses to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do (such as going to sleep).

I love it when kids have half the logic to lie. I have a tummy ache, I can't go to bed. Hey, kid, guess what the cure for a tummy ache is... go to bed

I get it a lot out of the playground too. I'm too cold, can I take my coat off?? Um. No, you're cold, you need a coat.

[thebuddhagouda]

Jun 24, 2013 14:31:40 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

Jun 24, 2013 11:18:18 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

My kid turned 3 three weeks ago, and unless he is magically getting a stomach ache every night at exactly 7:25 p.m. he is definitely smart enough to attempt to make up illnesses to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do (such as going to sleep).

I love it when kids have half the logic to lie. I have a tummy ache, I can't go to bed. Hey, kid, guess what the cure for a tummy ache is... go to bed

I get it a lot out of the playground too. I'm too cold, can I take my coat off?? Um. No, you're cold, you need a coat.

Yup. Just about every night we get some variations of "I don't feel good" and the reply is always "You know what will make you feel better? Going to sleep". We're thinking of taking the routine on broadway.

[julez]

Jun 24, 2013 14:47:53 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

I could honestly flip a coin to try and figure out if N is telling me the truth a good 90% of the time. She's gotten very big into telling stories.
Also, if my hips hurt and I mention it to DH, her hips hurt. And they hurt for days. The forget nothing!

RIGHT?

And then I say to her, "are you sure?" and I forget every. Single. Time. that a 3 year old doesn't understand what "are you sure?" means.  There's no way to fact check these kids. 

[DotAndBuzz]

Jun 24, 2013 14:31:40 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

Jun 24, 2013 11:18:18 GMT -5 thebuddhagouda said:

My kid turned 3 three weeks ago, and unless he is magically getting a stomach ache every night at exactly 7:25 p.m. he is definitely smart enough to attempt to make up illnesses to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do (such as going to sleep).

I love it when kids have half the logic to lie. I have a tummy ache, I can't go to bed. Hey, kid, guess what the cure for a tummy ache is... go to bed

I get it a lot out of the playground too. I'm too cold, can I take my coat off?? Um. No, you're cold, you need a coat.

But it is almost good this way, because then you know when they really feel like crap. 

N has done the "my tummy/head hurts, I'm sick" song and dance, and one way I test it is to feed her other totally unrelated symptoms.  Like, "oh, I bet your knee is super ouchy too, isn't it?   And your nose?  Yes, I bet it is.  I think some bubbles and chalk on the driveway would fix you right up."  If she's agreeing to all these random things, I know she's faking.  If she's stuck on one symptom or actually WANTS to go lie down, then I know she's telling the truth.