So I just did the math (a vent/rant) updated

[mala]

About how much H has worked this week. Now I don't feel so bad about being pissed at him for not being home yet. He should have been home around 8 this morning, but was asked to stay around to do a drug audit. He was supposed to be done at noon, home by one. It's now after 2 and I haven't heard from him.

I did the math, and of the past week (Monday morning 7 am to now, so actually a little over a week), he has worked 108 hours. This is ridiculous. No wonder I am so pissed/stressed/done. He was also supposed to work tonight but he left me a voicemail that he called out, thank god.

This is not normal. A 60ish hour work week is normal (for him). 80 hour work week is unusual but not unheard of. 100+ is insane.

I'm ready to cry because he was supposed to be home by one and then I was going to leave him with B and grab lunch out by myself but it's now after 2 and I haven't eaten. There is almost nothing in the house to eat. I have to go to the store after I get lunch.

UPDATE: I just heard from H. He is still at work. I'm pissed. To be fair he sent me a text at 11:40 that only just now came through. But still. Looks like I'm going out to dinner by myself and H can feed himself and B.

UPDATE NUMBER 2: H got home around 545. He was supposed to be off until Wednesday night when he goes to work at the private ambulance company (he leaves before dinner). He told me when he got home that he is going back into his main job tomorrow at 5 (this is semi-voluntairy). He also wanted to burn off the brush pile in our backyard tonight but I told him not to. I'm seriously about to shut myself in our room and cry. Or just say fuck it and go out for dinner by myself. I haven't decided yet.

[raynes]

Big ol' zombie hugs for you mala.

That is an insanely long work week, and I can totally understand why you're feeling so done. I hope he gets home soon to let you get some time for you!

[sunshineluv]

Sorry! That sucks for everyone!

[laurack]

Aw that sucks! 100+ hours is insane. is it just his "busy season"? Are finances very tight, causing him to pick up all the extra hours?

[sunshineluv]

Please tell us he gets overtime for this? Or is he salary?

[mala]

Jun 24, 2013 13:25:23 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

I'm sorry. That is beyond crazy. What does he do?

He's a paramedic firefighter. His normal shift is 24hours, which is why a 60 hour work week is fairly common.

[careyalis]

That is insane!!! What does he do?

[mala]

Jun 24, 2013 13:26:16 GMT -5 laurack said:

Aw that sucks! 100+ hours is insane. is it just his "busy season"? Are finances very tight, causing him to pick up all the extra hours?

There's a lot of factors that just colided to make this the week from hell. $ is tight right now, and we need the extra hours. It's complicated though, I will try to explain.

H's main job is a paramedic and firefighter for a major airport. They work a 24 hour shift, then have 72 hours (3 days) off until their next shift. There are 4 shifts, A, B, C & D. There is a minimum required staffing. If someone calls out then someone from the shift the day before has to stay to cover this shift. This is done on a rotating schedule. Someone on the shift after H's decided to quit without giving notice, leaving them short staffed. H worked one day last week and was tapped with 24 hours of overtime, which is great 'cause OT=$$$$$. He worked another shift yesterday and was asked to stay to help do the drug audit, which is more OT=$$=yay (other than not being home yet)

H's second job is for a station in the north of the county responding to 911 calls. He took this job because he needed a second job, not just for our finances but because three days of sitting at home between shifts drives him crazy. It pays significantly less than his man job and they only give him like three shifts a month, two of which happened to be this week: a 12 hour shift and a 24 hour shift. He went in late to the 24 hour shift because he was just getting off the 48 hours at his main job and needed to come home and change and pack a bag for this job. After this month he will be leaving this part time job or just taking a single shift a month because he got a better job offer.

H's third job is for a private ambulance company. He is working for a former boss, who made him an offer for almost what he makes at his main job (hourly) as well as a guaranteed two shifts (12 hours each) each week. The same 2 shifts every week, too, as long as they don't conflict with his main job. He worked one shift at this place this week. Taking this job is huge for us, and is why he can quit the second job.

This will, hopefully, be the only and last week like this.

[bean47]

So many hugs coming your way. DH is a ff/paramedic too and anything more than 72 hour a week makes me want to lose my mind! I hope you don't have a repeat of this week for a very long time.

[mumegs]

WOW that is a crazy amount of hours!!

[devonpow]

I'm sorry! My husband regularly works 80 hour weeks, and 100 hour weeks are not unusual (plus he travels internationally for work). It's hard. I do all things kid on weekdays -from the time they wake until after their bedtime. It wears you down not having help or "you" time. I totally get it (which is why we have a part time nanny!) Hang in there!

[oso]

Wow, you ladies that have husbands that work a lot of hours are wonder women! Hugs to you Mala. Ii don't know if it would help or not but can you hire baby sitter so you can have some personal time? If not maybe you can get your husband to quit the second job and fill some of that time with some other activity that doesn't take up as much of his time. Maybe building stuff or, going to schools and teaching fire safety, think outside the box. What has he always wanted to do?

[spaghetticat]

I'm sorry. It's so draining being the only one doing the childcare. I hope you get some help soon!

[jenbelle]

HUGS!!!! and I hope you had dinner out!!!

[raynes]

Oh mala, I'm sorry hun. I hope you went to dinner. And ordered the BIG steak. And 2 desserts.

I hope things are better today.

[katfco]

I'm sorry. I hope this really is the only week like this and you guys are able to get some time together.

[laurack]

Aw I'm sorry, this must be very frustrating.  

Maybe you need to buy yourself something pretty now that he's bringing all this cash in

[mala]

We had a long talk about everything last night and are in a much better place today. I did not go out by myself last night, but did hide out and have some me time before pitting b to bed. Then we talked. He totally understands my frustration. And recognises ghat me being home with b is a 24/7 job and in a lot of ways he has it easier because when he is working he has a lot more down time than I get watching b. Our disconnect is coming in part from the fact that I see being the go to parent as "work"(though I use the term work loosely because I love being with B) and he does not. So he is coming home and I'm reluctant to hand b off to him because he does so much for us already. But he doesn't see it that way and loves spending time with her whenever he can. So I need to stop worrying about it so much.

I really stressed the fact that I'm not mad at him for working so much and that I understand that this was just a clusterfuck week where everything went wrong. I'm upset, but not mad.

I'm posting from starbucks, where I plan to spend at least an hour-baby free. Then I plan on going somewhere for lunch, alone. Then to the grocery store. So I'm getting my much needed alone time.