Chilean babysitter! (and question)

[anna7602]

I confirmed my participation in the Lisbon event next month and have continued to search for childcare options. Completely randomly, I ran into a friend of a friend at the supermarket this morning and she mentioned she is looking for a summer job as a babysitter. YAYAYAYAAY! We exchanged contact info and I practically skipped home.

She's Chilean, so that's perfect for DD (who is much more comfortable with Spanish than with French). But now my question. I don't actually know this woman that well. She is friends with some folks I took language classes with at the Alliance Francaise and have kept in touch with. She took other classes at the AF with them. I met her recently when I was out socializing with the AF group. I met her husband, too. And she met both my husband and daughter For months, two of the other AF people have been saying, "Oh, you really have to meet [awesome Chilean girl]. You guys would really hit it off. She's so nice, etc etc etc." So, I know she is well-liked, and she and I did hit it off.

She seems so very, very nice and earnest and I get a good overall vibe. But, I know little else about her. So, am I just completely desperate for considering leaving my child in her hands for two days or should I go with my gut and say this will all be fine? She just moved to France with her French husband about 6 months ago and doesn't have any work references here. I can chat a little more with the other people who know her (one is also Chilean, so maybe he knows people she knows from home), but that's about it.

[dulcemariamar]

I am sorry but I don't remember the story about your Lisbon trip so I don't know if this is answer is useful.

When I used to babysit, what one family did was that they would invite me to come to the house like twice while one parent was still in the house. the mother was off working or in the kitchen cooking) just to see how the kid would respond to me. The next few times, she would run small errands in the neighborhood and come back to check on us.

So maybe if you are looking for a babysitter you could try this in the beginning. Since you work freelance, you can invite her over to keep your DD busy while you work and then gradually leave the house to run short errands after a few visits.

But I don't have kids. So...I am not the best person to respond.

[irish]

It is always hard to know what to do for childcare, either longterm or for short periods of time. I feel your pain.

I think what dulcemariamar suggests is a good idea. Even with all the references in the world you could still end up with someone who doesn't work out for you. At least with a bit of a breaking in period before you head to Lisbon you could rest more easily. And your dh is going to be in Paris and minding your dd in the evenings... and he could call and check everything is ok during the day (I mean on the phone)

You have to go with your gut on some things as a parent. And trust your daughter's instinct too - if after a couple of short sessions with this lady your daughter is hesitant to be left with her then listen to that too.

I don't envy you, that is for sure. But it will work out in the end... and you will get to enjoy networking in Lisbon!!

[cricketwife]

Not a parent here, but I think you need to go with your gut. There's a lot about international living that requires you to just trust your gut (and I think the same is true for parenting?) - dulcemaria's idea's a good one too.

I think it's very positive that you kind of share a social circle and people "recommended" her to you as friend potential. That says a lot more to me than "oh yeah, so and so could keep your kid."

[allibally]

If it helps. When I babysit and start working for a new family. I get nervous too hoping they are not bat shit crazy. Especially now that I am in a large city. I try do do a practice time when one parent is still there. It's great for both parties. Has she met your daughter yet. Meet at a park and see how she reacts to the sitter.

I had a family where the father would get in his two year olds sons face and snap his fingers at him while disciplining. They were the same family who said they would be back at 11pm but in reality would come back at 3am. I ended up always being "busy".