Do we have some horse people on this board?

[biblionerd]

I know there are at least a few, but I can't remember names. I have a question I need to talk to horse peeps about!

[Dorothy Zbornak]

dbe100408

I mean, she has a horse in her avatar, so I'm assuming she at least likes them.

[biblionerd]

Jun 26, 2013 0:42:49 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

dbe100408

I mean, she has a horse in her avatar, so I'm assuming she at least likes them.

Thanks! I knew someone had a horse avatar, but I royally suck at remembering names.

[tease]

I'm a lurker, but I know a lot about horses. What's your?

[kwpnjumper55]

I'm a lurker but I own, ride and show. I can answer too

[Deleted]

Hello.......... me!

[bean47]

I don't currently own or ride but I still consider myself a horse person!

[JuliaGulia]

Me! I've owned and been riding since I was 8!

[mala]

I used to teach riding to kids.....10 years ago. Does that count?

[bebeetmoi]

Jun 26, 2013 3:51:49 GMT -5 bean47 said:

I don't currently own or ride but I still consider myself a horse person!

Same here!

[rjamz]

Jun 26, 2013 3:51:49 GMT -5 bean47 said:

I don't currently own or ride but I still consider myself a horse person!

Me too! Or I definitely used to be

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[kandrze1]

I rode, competed, and was my trainer's working student as a kid up through college. 

[biblionerd]

Ok, do this is definitely tl;dr , but I couldn't condense it any more. ANY advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated. He's my heart horse so it's just too hard. I've had him for 15 yrs since 4h!

I'm torn about what to do with my old guy. He's 24 and has been a pasture pet for about 10 years. He completely tore his cruciate ligament off of his femur, taking part of the bone with, etc. It healed surprisingly well, but never rideable more than a trot, so we just put him to pasture. He developed COPD (RAO I think they're all called now? I'm out of the loop). He crashed probably 6 years ago when we got the diagnosis. I since bought a home in the country, built a barn for him, and brought him home and bought a buddy for him. He has a stall with an attached paddock so he can stay off grass at night, but not be locked in a barn all day. He's ALSO allergic to grass(es) and a lot of other stuff so does poorly outside 24/7- basically the worst thing for copd. He gets soaked tim/alf cubes, paper shavings, monthly allergy shots, daily trihist, and ventipulmin as needed. So he's pretty high maintenance. That's why we made the huge commitment to buy a house in the country.

Over the past few years living here he's needed the ventipulmin fairly infrequently, but I've seen him get progressively slowly worse. He never looks normal when he breathes (can see his sides sucking in more than a normal horse, etc.), but never labored to the point of needing er meds or crashing. It's COPD though- it's not going to get better.

So he's old, has arthritis from his old injury, and has COPD. We have to move for my husband's work. Not far, but just to the city about 40 minutes away. So I can't keep him at home anymore. I've looked high and low and can find nowhere with a setup similar to what we have. Anywhere that comes close costs WAY more than we can afford or is a backyard horse person who I would not feel comfortable trusting with his health issues. I don't want him suffering, standing there unable to breathe because someone isn't familiar enough with copd. I don't really expect your average boarding barn to be able to take care of him. He's high maintenance and I know your average boarding barn with closed stalls at night, regular hay, and wood shavings would basically be the end of him. That's the setup he had before and it almost killed him.

I'm trying to talk myself into anything else but euthanasia. He still seems so happy. He runs around (for short distances), and just looks so content outside munching on grass all day. But boarding him somewhere if I could happen to find a place would be VERY hard on us financially. I have 2 kids and a 3rd on the way and just cannot afford $600 board (that's a lot here). Even then, I'd be driving at least 40+ minutes to see him and with 3 young kids it just wouldn't be often. Would that even be fair to him if I could afford it? I feel like I know in my heart that euthanizing him is the right thing, but I feel like I should be able to do more. :/ I just don't feel good about it. Like I failed him being unable to stay here. I just always pictured him living his last days here peacefully, but more when I felt it was REALLY time, not because we had to move and had no other options.

Am I horrible for doing this? Am I stupid for not doing it or feeling HORRIBLY guilty about it? Is there some magical solution I didn't think of?

[bebeetmoi]

Before anything else I need to say that it sounds to me like you HAVE in fact done everything g to ensure his quality of life. I don't know many people (who arent stupidly wealthy) who would move their family for the sake of their aging horse. That coupled with the fact you care for him and his ailments on your own is really admirable.
I know it may not be a popular opinion, but if I were unable to find a suitable boarding situation for him where his needs would be meet and it wouldn't compromise the financial well being of your growing family, I would have him euthanized. To me, that would be the most humane thing to do considering his condition, age, and that his way of life would be very different. Now I haven't owned a horse since HS and he was boarded, so perhaps another lady can offer you better insight. 

[mala]

Oh man this is hard. I'm sorry

Can H commute or is it just too far?

I do think it sounds like it is too early to let him go. But, if you cant find a place that can care for him properly I don't see what else you can do. If youboard him somewhere when he isn't going to thrive he is going to deteriorate rapidly and you're not going to have any other choice. But it sounds like he is still doing well now. There is no easy answer here.

I cant make the decision for you, but whatever you decide will be the right thing for him and your family. No matter what you choose, you are going to feel guilty, and I can tell you that you shouldn't feel that way but that would be futile, so I'll just say that what you feel is just how it is even if you are making the best choice you can. I certainly won't judge you if you see euthenasia as your best option here.

*Hugs.*

[mala]

Jun 26, 2013 7:23:42 GMT -5 bebeetmoi said:

Before anything else I need to say that it sounds to me like you HAVE in fact done everything g to ensure his quality of life. I don't know many people (who arent stupidly wealthy) who would move their family for the sake of their aging horse. That coupled with the fact you care for him and his ailments on your own is really admirable.
I know it may not be a popular opinion, but if I were unable to find a suitable boarding situation for him where his needs would be meet and it wouldn't compromise the financial well being of your growing family, I would have him euthanized. To me, that would be the most humane thing to do considering his condition, age, and that his way of life would be very different. Now I haven't owned a horse since HS and he was boarded, so perhaps another lady can offer you better insight. 

This too. Well said.

[kandrze1]

Do you know anyone who might have a stall in a barn at their home that could give him the same care you have been? Sometimes people look for pasture mates for their own older horses, and might be willing to give you a break on board. I wish you were near me I have a friend who takes in older horses. 
I'm really sorry you're facing all of these decisions. It's not an easy situation, and it sounds like you have done so much for him. There's no way you've failed him. I can understand how hard it is to even think of euthanasia. I've dealt with that decision before and it sucks.

[dbe100408]

First of all, HUGS. Big, long, creepy hugs. I'm so sorry. We have something similarish to what you're dealing with but not near to the extent. You have done your best, please know that. There is not ONE person I know (and I know a LOT of horse people) who would even be able to do what you have already done. If I were in your shoes I would undoubtedly be forced to euthanize. There wouldn't be another option, as those kinds of costs would mean financial ruin for us. Also, I wouldn't honestly trust anyone else to board an animal with those kinds of issues. I would be too terrified that they would allow his health to decline, and he would be worse off than he started. I couldn't watch that.

Again, hugs.

[biblionerd]

Jun 26, 2013 7:23:42 GMT -5 bebeetmoi said:

Before anything else I need to say that it sounds to me like you HAVE in fact done everything g to ensure his quality of life. I don't know many people (who arent stupidly wealthy) who would move their family for the sake of their aging horse. That coupled with the fact you care for him and his ailments on your own is really admirable.
I know it may not be a popular opinion, but if I were unable to find a suitable boarding situation for him where his needs would be meet and it wouldn't compromise the financial well being of your growing family, I would have him euthanized. To me, that would be the most humane thing to do considering his condition, age, and that his way of life would be very different. Now I haven't owned a horse since HS and he was boarded, so perhaps another lady can offer you better insight. 

Thank you. I just feel so drained. I really do think I know in my heart letting him go is the best thing, but it's kind of like I fought for soooo long to get him here and we freaking moved to the country to keep him at home. I know most people wouldn't have even done that. If we had been in a different situation and not getting ready to buy our first house we wouldn't have and he wouldn't be here still. So I'm trying to tell myself I gave him 4 more years than he would have had, but it's so hard. I'm tired. I feel like I put my life totally on hold and I feel guilty for feeling that way. :/ It's hard for non-horse people to understand because you can just generally pick up and move a cat or dog anywhere.

[biblionerd]

Jun 26, 2013 7:27:49 GMT -5 mala said:

Oh man this is hard. I'm sorry

Can H commute or is it just too far?

I do think it sounds like it is too early to let him go. But, if you cant find a place that can care for him properly I don't see what else you can do. If youboard him somewhere when he isn't going to thrive he is going to deteriorate rapidly and you're not going to have any other choice. But it sounds like he is still doing well now. There is no easy answer here.

I cant make the decision for you, but whatever you decide will be the right thing for him and your family. No matter what you choose, you are going to feel guilty, and I can tell you that you shouldn't feel that way but that would be futile, so I'll just say that what you feel is just how it is even if you are making the best choice you can. I certainly won't judge you if you see euthenasia as your best option here.

*Hugs.*

No, it's too far. It's been VERY hard on our family. He works late and the drive is very long and hard. He's done it for so long so I could take care of the horses and it's been very tough on him. He has a stressful job and just can't do it any more. We only have 4.5 acres here, but we have zero time to even mow the grass. With the kids there is just not a free minute in the day to get anything done. :/ The problem is that it's too early to let him go if I lived HERE, but I can't. Even then, I guess I really don't know if it's too early. I mean, I want to say it's too early because I want him here forever. But with his chronic problem he's not going to get better. I hung on to one of my kitties for far too long and always told myself that I would never do that to another animal. I don't know how hard it is for him to breathe. I have asthma and know how scary it is. And he is old and can crash fast so I really don't want him to suffer. I hate this. 

[biblionerd]

Jun 26, 2013 7:54:31 GMT -5 kandrze1 said:

Do you know anyone who might have a stall in a barn at their home that could give him the same care you have been? Sometimes people look for pasture mates for their own older horses, and might be willing to give you a break on board. I wish you were near me I have a friend who takes in older horses. 
I'm really sorry you're facing all of these decisions. It's not an easy situation, and it sounds like you have done so much for him. There's no way you've failed him. I can understand how hard it is to even think of euthanasia. I've dealt with that decision before and it sucks.

Nope. :/ I've looked everywhere and asked everyone I can. It's a VERY sore spot in my family right now. My parents live in the country 20 minutes away. I bought my first horse when I was 15 and paid every penny I had and earned to pay his board. He ended up being a complete lunatic who fractured a couple of my vertebrae, gave me numerous stitches, and tons of nerve damage. So I had to get rid of him. Ice was my "savior" horse who happened to fall right into our laps and was the best horse I could have asked for. So my parents bought him when I was 15, moved to the country when I graduated high school so we could keep him and his buddy at home, then decided that I needed to move him elsewhere because she basically didn't want to take care of him anymore (she has 6 miniature horses still). So with his COPD already in full force I had no choice but to make our first house a country house or board him and let him decline. So here we are... She knows the situation we're in. She knows Ice and knows COPD. She first agreed to board him there last year, but then basically changed her mind and has refused to do anything. She was kind of my one hope. I know he's not her responsibility, but it's going to be REALLY hard to forgive them for the whole situation, just bailing on me I guess.

Anyway, I can't find anyone else that I feel anywhere near close to comfortable taking care of him. They're all mostly backyard people who haven't had a lot of experience around many horses. Most I talked to didn't even know what COPD is. At his age I just don't even know if it's fair to even put that on someone. I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if he stood there suffering because someone didn't know what to look for. 

[biblionerd]

Jun 26, 2013 10:45:25 GMT -5 dbe100408 said:

First of all, HUGS. Big, long, creepy hugs. I'm so sorry. We have something similarish to what you're dealing with but not near to the extent. You have done your best, please know that. There is not ONE person I know (and I know a LOT of horse people) who would even be able to do what you have already done. If I were in your shoes I would undoubtedly be forced to euthanize. There wouldn't be another option, as those kinds of costs would mean financial ruin for us. Also, I wouldn't honestly trust anyone else to board an animal with those kinds of issues. I would be too terrified that they would allow his health to decline, and he would be worse off than he started. I couldn't watch that.

Again, hugs.

Thank you. I really do feel like there's nowhere for him to go. I think if I DID find a big fancy schmancy stable that would be willing to charge us out the wazoo to provide this care that he would get lost in the mix and overlooked. There are no retirement/layup type places near us, and I don't think his quality of life is SO great that it's worth shipping him somewhere just to keep him alive. He's 24. I just keep trying to remind myself of that. He's had a great life and that's getting up there in horse years. What would boarding him do IF I found somewhere that would take him? Add maybe another year or two? And I don't even know what his quality of life is right now. We just never planned to pay $500-$600 a month board. I just can't do that and it's so hard to swallow what we've paid for this house/expenses taking care of him here. I honestly feel stupid for putting our family in that situation to begin with, but I'm such a bleeding heart when it comes to pets. It just sucks that horses aren't just pets and are livestock. I hate it, but they just are and in situations like this that's basically what it comes down to. I feel so guilty thinking about boarding him somewhere where he goes from seeing me, dh, and the kids every day (for the past 13 years) to seeing me a couple times a week. Just that alone makes me sad, nonetheless knowing that it would be such a gamble in the first place. Sigh... I'm rambling. But thank you so much. :/