NHGR: Parents who work - childcare question

[emoflamingo]

I'm sure the answer will be different if you use a daycare center or an in-home facility, so make sure you specify.

Say your childcare is unavailable for a day with no notice because there is an issue (provider is ill or family member in home is ill, unexpected staff shortage, safety issue with the building, whatever), do you have a backup sitter other than family?

[downtoearth]

We live close to family, but really it's mostly just DH and I who do those last minute things. I can't think of a family member who would take a day off their job to do that last minute. Maybe my mom in the summer, since she's a teacher.

[emoflamingo]

All our local family (not many - just MIL/FIL, SIL and one grandparent who is not really a good sitter candidate for many reasons including health) work full-time so they aren't available.

Our sitter's kid came down with strep, bronchitis AND an ear infection this weekend so she was closed Monday to sanitize and get him out of the infectious stage. So I stayed home. And yesterday night, her husband (also her helper in the summer) came down with strep and was still not on antibiotics until close to 9 p.m. So my H had to stay home. His coworker went on a texting rampage and said it was "disrespectful" for him to be gone so often (he does not usually get to take an actual vacation near a holiday because she will take off the full week - she'll be gone all of next week and likely complain about issues on Friday because she can't leave early to get to her lake house) and that he should find a better back-up situation. I didn't think this sort of thing was completely unusual (not having a back-up sitter who would take on a child in spur-of-the-moment situations like this was).

[Deleted]

My family MIL mainly is my backup. I have none that is non family as they are teens. So you are not alone. I am lucky that my work is flexible and if not H can usually make it work. Your Hs coworker sounds whiney.

[pamela]

We use a center and no, we do not, but not by choice. When daycare had to close for multiple days in a row due to flood recovery we were lucky and able to get his teacher to to babysit for 2 days. She's not my favorite, but is okay in a pinch.

[sjh722]

Right now she is watched by someone in home.

If she has something come up, I have MIL, 2 SIL, and 3 friends who are sahm and don't mind sitting on short notice (I think they like the cash).

[emoflamingo]

Jun 26, 2013 15:19:47 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

My family MIL mainly is my backup. I have none that is non family as they are teens. So you are not alone. I am lucky that my work is flexible and if not H can usually make it work. Your Hs coworker sounds whiney.

LOL I obviously agree. The first of the year, she blocks off long weeks out (she has been with the company a long time and gets 6 weeks paid vacation and they are allowed to roll over 2 weeks every year) at every major holiday. So no going out of town for holidays ever until she retires since it's just the two of them on their team.

[ktzmoh]

This coworker is nuts. Stuff happens with children. If she wants the human race to continue, then employers will have to accept that employees will occasionally have to be out to deal with the children in their lives.

We don't have family around, but I'm lucky in that I can easily telecommute - so I do that if they are sick or the nanny is sick.

[sju]

Where is the supervisor in all this? I would not respond to texts. If she has a problem she can go to the boss and complain.

To answer your question, we don't have family here. My DD goes to a center but if she is sick, one of us stays home. We are really not allowed to telework with kids at home but we get calls. Sometimes i have been able to get credit for the time but I often have to answer the calls AND charge sick leave.

[emoflamingo]

Jun 26, 2013 17:59:31 GMT -5 sju said:

Where is the supervisor in all this? I would not respond to texts. If she has a problem she can go to the boss and complain.

To answer your question, we don't have family here. My DD goes to a center but if she is sick, one of us stays home. We are really not allowed to telework with kids at home but we get calls. Sometimes i have been able to get credit for the time but I often have to answer the calls AND charge sick leave.

He said all likelihood is that the boss is letting her complain to her as well. She is kind of a doormat and doesn't punish anybody for anything. He emailed her last night as soon as the sitter told us and left it up to us to decide on sending the kids to her or not and he never heard back from her on it. This particular coworker of his has been in her position for over 5 years and she still can't actually run the system on her own. And she doesn't show up before 10 a.m. daily (though company policy states employees should be in by 9 a.m. at the latest - my H is there at 6 a.m. to ensure the system is up and running without issues before production starts for the day at 8 a.m). Of course, the boss calls in about every other Monday, so..

[prazenjc]

no real back up. we have some friends that watch our son a couple days a week when DH is in school, the other days of the week our son goes to daycare while DH and i work. these friends homeschool their kids and the kids are teenagers now.

if the friends can't help in a short/no notice scenario like you describe, DH or i call into work or take a vacation day.

[IrishBelle]

We use an in-home provider and don't have a backup. Our family that is local all work full time. If we have to, one of us with stay home. Its usually me since my schedule has more flexibility ans I can wok from home but Dh does his share. We have even resorted o having one parent at home for the morning and trading off at lunch if we both have to be at work that day.

[AmyRI]

We use a center. We have no backup. One of us takes the day off work (DH can sometimes work from home, I never have that option). My family is local, but they are not trustworthy babysitters. If we run out of PTO, we have considered asking my mother to watch them, but she would have to take the day off work and we don't like her as a babysitter (long story). Hasn't happened yet, thankfully.

[demandypants]

we use a center, and have no backup in place. If the school is closed we are able to take a day off or work remotely if we need to. Plus we have family close by too. My company also offers a backup care benefit with a nearby center where you can pay a per-day amount for when your own arrangements are interrupted. Part of the reason I like using the center is that they really only close for disasters... power outages, flooding, excessive snow. Situations when I may not be able to make it to work myself. Someone being sick isn't going to be a problem.

[emoflamingo]

Jun 27, 2013 8:56:55 GMT -5 demandypants said:

we use a center, and have no backup in place. If the school is closed we are able to take a day off or work remotely if we need to. Plus we have family close by too. My company also offers a backup care benefit with a nearby center where you can pay a per-day amount for when your own arrangements are interrupted. Part of the reason I like using the center is that they really only close for disasters... power outages, flooding, excessive snow. Situations when I may not be able to make it to work myself. Someone being sick isn't going to be a problem.

That's what I miss about a center. Unfortunately, we live in one side of town and work in two opposite directions and one of us does drop off and one of us does pick up, so we had to stay close to home to keep things running smooth and there are no actual centers out there, just home providers. She's licensed and great, the kids love it, but when they get sick (as is prone to happen sometimes), someone has to stay home.

[katie4253]

We use a center, so they are always open.  But, we have back-up care if he is too sick to go to dc but not sick enough for us to stay home.  Right now it is ILs.  It won't be when we move.  We will hire someone. 

[katie4253]

Jun 26, 2013 14:41:43 GMT -5 emoflamingo said:

All our local family (not many - just MIL/FIL, SIL and one grandparent who is not really a good sitter candidate for many reasons including health) work full-time so they aren't available.

Our sitter's kid came down with strep, bronchitis AND an ear infection this weekend so she was closed Monday to sanitize and get him out of the infectious stage. So I stayed home. And yesterday night, her husband (also her helper in the summer) came down with strep and was still not on antibiotics until close to 9 p.m. So my H had to stay home. His coworker went on a texting rampage and said it was "disrespectful" for him to be gone so often (he does not usually get to take an actual vacation near a holiday because she will take off the full week - she'll be gone all of next week and likely complain about issues on Friday because she can't leave early to get to her lake house) and that he should find a better back-up situation. I didn't think this sort of thing was completely unusual (not having a back-up sitter who would take on a child in spur-of-the-moment situations like this was).

His CW is bat-shit crazy.  If your H has the days she needs to shut her pie hole. 

Dudes don't usually get crap like that.  I'm really surprised.  I would honestly tell HR about her craziness if it is a company that has HR.  If not, he should tell his supervisor.  That is bad.  I also don't know if it is actually legal for her to say stuff like that...

[Deleted]

I'm one of the few working moms at our church, so there are a lot of people we can call in a pinch that would watch him.